Didn't think it'd take me so long to get over last week's trip. It's not so much readjusting to GA. Once back it was cram session after cram session for big choral performance this morning. That drained me more than anything. Also I've just been terribly unmotivated. As much as I hate to admit that, I just don't have the motivation to do much anything right now, let alone draw. It worries me a bit as I fear I may be spiraling into another post-trip depression. Also been real fearful of letting folks down of late. Feel as though I failed a couple of good friends by my inaction. I had an opportunity to reach out but did not. I was so damned afraid. I didn't want to ruffle feathers. I just wanted to make up for the ass I've been to this guy last year n' I think I accomplished that but to what cost. Should've said more. What the hell good is saying yer gonna be there for someone yet once you are, you can't even open yer mouth. Perhaps it's better I didn't. Perhaps I wasn't meant to do nothing but just to be present. Just to be a reassurance. I just...I'm just tired. So tired right now. Sorry for the rant. I'm just afraid of bottling it all up as it could lead to a repeat of the second half of last year. Hopefully in the course of this week, I'll hear back from one of the many places I've applied to graduate school, hopefully UAB. Then I might be able to get back to some semblance of normalcy. If I truly ever was meant to be normal.