... I just... I just can't do anything anymore. I can't do anything but just distract myself from this shit that keeps happening. I can't deal with it, I can't make decisions, and every time something finally seems to be going right life just comes back to stomp my face in the ground again.

Yesterday I learned that my cat is horribly sick and that she isn't going to live much longer. I haven't seen her for two years now while she has been with my parents over in the Middle East. But my parents just moved back with her and the other two family cats last Friday. I was going to be able to go down this summer and pick her up so I could be with her again.... and now this.

I mean, its the day after I'm done with finals... the day after I finish my most recent piece "Endure" (fuck you irony) and then I receive this news. My Christmas was absolutely horrible and ruined even though my cousin is thankfully fully recovered, I had issues with school and wither I was going to continue or not, then my Grandfather passes away on my birthday, and now my first pet is about to leave and I probably wont get to see her before she goes.

I just can't take this anymore. Anytime I think about it I just crash down... staying in place, sobbing my heart out and I can't do anything else but try and distract myself.

Life will continue, I'll eventually get through this, but right now I'm nothing but hard cold stone...