My first coming out story! ...kinda...
14 years ago
For those of you who don't know, I'm bisexual. Weird, right? Not really. Lately, a friend of mine (We'll call him Kelly) in my shop--obviously also a Marine--has been having issues. Ever since the repeal of the DADT he's been...off. I've known he was gay since comm school. He and I go a ways back, suffice to say. He's never officially come out, but if you ask him--yeah he's gay. As a result, there was a certain degree of ostracization on everyone else's part--there's a few other gay guys (and a few bi's, myself included), but he's sort've on my own.
Well, last week he was having issues--Kelly's got a lot of mental problems, and they finally manifested in physical ailments as well. So for about 7 hours he and I sat in the ER while he was tested on. I'm not complaining, really, but when you're essentially trapped in a room with one other person you get to know them a whole lot more than you used to. After about two hours, he came out to me. I was so proud of him! Yeah, he's awkward as hell (and totally not my type, for the record), but it was nice of him to trust me like that. Like I said, he and I are the only ones who really get along well...either that or I'm the only one with a car, but I don't like to be cynical like that.
Since then, when we're alone I've...progressively talked 'gayer'. I know that I'm heavily, heavily closeted. I'm not trying to sound like a damn champion of equality or whatever, but it's kinda nice. Refreshing, in a way. I haven't been 'myself' in a few years--it just built up, and up and up. Eventually the facade came natural, I guess. The shitty thing is having to turn off the 'accent' after we hang out. It's hard, but getting easier.
And so earlier today, I just kinda...came out and told him. Eye for an eye, for lack of a better term. It's still hard for me to come out and say it, but yeah--I like guys. He was as receptive as I'd hoped, now all I want is for him to keep it quiet. Yeah, it's legal for gays/bisexuals to be in the military but I've been having a rough enough time as is. Don't need to add to it, really. Really don't need to add to it.
I know it's not that big of a deal to some, but it certainly felt good to me. And I'm not saying I sleep around with multiple partners or whatever--I love my girlfriend, I honestly do--I'm just saying it was nice to be honest to myself for once.
Now I just want Kelly to keep his mouth shut.
Well, last week he was having issues--Kelly's got a lot of mental problems, and they finally manifested in physical ailments as well. So for about 7 hours he and I sat in the ER while he was tested on. I'm not complaining, really, but when you're essentially trapped in a room with one other person you get to know them a whole lot more than you used to. After about two hours, he came out to me. I was so proud of him! Yeah, he's awkward as hell (and totally not my type, for the record), but it was nice of him to trust me like that. Like I said, he and I are the only ones who really get along well...either that or I'm the only one with a car, but I don't like to be cynical like that.
Since then, when we're alone I've...progressively talked 'gayer'. I know that I'm heavily, heavily closeted. I'm not trying to sound like a damn champion of equality or whatever, but it's kinda nice. Refreshing, in a way. I haven't been 'myself' in a few years--it just built up, and up and up. Eventually the facade came natural, I guess. The shitty thing is having to turn off the 'accent' after we hang out. It's hard, but getting easier.
And so earlier today, I just kinda...came out and told him. Eye for an eye, for lack of a better term. It's still hard for me to come out and say it, but yeah--I like guys. He was as receptive as I'd hoped, now all I want is for him to keep it quiet. Yeah, it's legal for gays/bisexuals to be in the military but I've been having a rough enough time as is. Don't need to add to it, really. Really don't need to add to it.
I know it's not that big of a deal to some, but it certainly felt good to me. And I'm not saying I sleep around with multiple partners or whatever--I love my girlfriend, I honestly do--I'm just saying it was nice to be honest to myself for once.
Now I just want Kelly to keep his mouth shut.
Not so good that you can't be sure "Kelly" won't shout it from the rooftops.
Just stay safe, please. We don't need another Pfc Winchell.