I started this journal earlier tonight with a wagon load full of emotions and thoughts. I've been sitting here trying to remember everything and to re-create the original message, but have realized that it is impossible for me to do that. My perspective changes with every experience, every conversation, and every little thing someone does to affect my life. I am a very reliable and dependable person, yet like any other individual I'm never exactly the same person I was five minutes ago.

I would love to believe that I am always improving, but everyone is more than apt to make mistakes and have moments of weakness or confusion just as much as they are likely to be amazing, I'm not an exception to this rule. The most amazing people in my life realize this about themselves and are able to not only accept it, but are able to find an appreciation for it, to find an appropriate place for it within themselves. That is something I strive for every day.

It's not a destination though, it's something that you have to hold yourself to with a will each and every moment. Being able to do so does not make you better than anyone else. You cannot compare yourself to another. We are all alike in so many ways, yet we have to acknowledge that we are fundamentally separated and cannot control another person's perceptions or view of themselves. We may be able to support them and love them and do our best to give them everything they need to find what they need in themselves. The hardest part is that moments when they fail to do this or seem like they don't want to see themselves or the world in the positive and loving way that you do, you can't fault them, you can't judge them.

The hardest part to realize is that even with the confidence you gain within yourself, and the certainty you have about yourself and the world, you must realize that you aren't correct about everything. You still have to listen to those around you bearing in mind that they too are limited to the world they see.

The hardest challenge I have found in my life is to understand and constantly challenge that understanding of everything and everyone around me. The world around us isn't simple and neither are any of us. It is possible to be both correct and incorrect about something, and to feel more than one way about something. Often there is simply not a right answer, and even moreso there is often no wrong answer.

This realization and understanding of things led me to create a blog at one point that I am tempted to begin again here. It will be titled "No Real Solution" (NRS) as I hit upon this conclusion in my philosophy class about the same time I had found the usefulness of the mathematical answer by the same name some time ago.

I hope you have a chance to read what I will be writing, find comments or critiques, and have the courage to say them.