I just wanted to inform you all that yesterday, I sort of had a mental breakdown.
My parents got into a very bad argument, and the police where almost called.
My father said that if he walked out the door he wouldnt be coming back and that made me break.

Thats one of my deepest darkest fears is my father abandoning us again.
And just the way he said it broke me.

I've also been sick, and my sister is coming home for thanksgiving tomorrow so.. I dont know how often I will be on, probably mostly at night or afk if anything.

I'm sort of numb and a mess right now thats why I havent really been online as of late. I just, I dunno.

I feel like theres nothing left of me.
I know there is, and I'm not suicidal suprisingly.
But like - I dunno, I just dont know.

Adam had to pull me back together - yesterday and it took all day to do it.
Waking up to them arguing today was just - something I didnt need.

I feel like sleeping the days away at this point because I just cant deal with being awake.

Someone wake me from this nightmare.
Was all I could keep saying to Adam, and he kept reassuring me that it was going to be alright stuff and it was nice to hear.

And my mom is threatening not to pay for my plane ticket to England, on top of all that, calling me a lazy ass who doesnt do anything and putting me down....

I just want to scream, run away and never come back.

But alas, I cant.

-sighs-

I broke yesterday...
Every little piece of me, just fell apart, and my heart shattered.

There isnt much left at this point, and I dont want to take it out on you guys.

There isnt much anyone can do either. Its a battle Adam and I have to fight alone.

I hope that me taking a break doesnt make anyone feel less about me, because that isnt my intention either.

I'm not really looking for sympathy, its not a habit of mine, I just - I need out so badly and I cant escape it.

So without further adieu I'm going to go lay back in bed and just hope that this passes over.