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Horror for people who hate Horror
13 years ago
I hate horror movies. I really do. 9 times out of ten, maybe 19 out of twenty, they suck. There are several reasons for this and I'll mention a few:
No point.
In most horror movies there's no point to the action other than to see how people can be killed or tortured. They don't bother overmuch with why, just how. This is pointless unless you are a sadist looking for good reference material.
ex: Final Destination
No attachment.
Most horror movies are stocked with characters whose chief attributes are sexy appeal, how dramatically they can utter stock lines uttered in EVERY horror movie, and how loudly (and sexily) they can scream. These characters do not draw anything remotely resembling empathy. They are not worthy of consideration, and if you WANT these people to die in horrible ways that detracts from the point of the movie, which is, ostensibly, to horrify.
ex: Freddie/Jason/Meyers, et al.
No hope.
One of the reasons there is more often than not no point to a horror movie is that at some point or another you find out there is in fact no HOPE of success, and oftentimes no hope even of survival. Nothing robs a scene of its dramatic elements quite like knowing that from a thousand choices can rise only one outcome. Futility sucks, and so do plots with no hope.
ex: Jeepers Creepers
For these and several other reasons I shall not bother to enumerate here, I hate horror... BUT:
There are some movies classified as horror that ARE worth watching. I shall list a few. If you think there are some that fit the bill filled by some of the following movies, then by all means add them to the list. Bear in mind that because I hate horror there are a LOT of horror movies I haven't seen. Following each recommendation I'll give a few brief thoughts. In no particular order....
House: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091223/
I like House for a couple of different reasons. 1) While it does have elements of horror in it, it is in fact actually an adventure comedy film disguised as horror. It's got some VERY campy moments, but you wind up caring for the central character who is in fact COMPETENT. Best of all, this film is not hopeless. Now, the plot is rather farfetched but... hell it's a horror movie. Grab some popcorn.
Cube: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123755/
The characters are unique and the acting is solid despite this being a fairly low budget canadian affair. Also notable is that there is absolutely no camp in this movie, anywhere. It is a suspense thriller with a bit of gore, but the gore is neither overstated nor is it the point of the movie, which makes it tolerable. I haven't seen any of the sequels yet, but I plan to. Once again, there is hope here. I also like the fact that while the outer shell of the story is not explained, everything within the cube is very specific and it all has a purpose. The threat is driven by the characters themselves, not some unknown hunter. Novel. Awesome.
1408: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450385/
John Cusak stars in a story about a man with no faith who ironically makes a living writing about hauntings and haunted locations. He meets his match in room 1408 of the Dolphin hotel. This movie is genuinely frightening in the classic sense, fear of the unknown, fear of being driven insane. A psychological thriller; be sure and watch the alternate ending.
Sleepy Hollow: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162661/
If you're a gamer, you'll like this movie. One of the forerunners of Sherlock Homes except this one really DOES have a supernatural twist. This is tagged horror mostly for ambiance and gore, but this is really more of an adventure film than horror.
The Rite: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1161864/
Suspense thriller.... very good. Anthony Hopkins puts in an excellent performance.
The Wolfman: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780653/
Action adventure thinly disguised as horror. Great gamer flick.
No point.
In most horror movies there's no point to the action other than to see how people can be killed or tortured. They don't bother overmuch with why, just how. This is pointless unless you are a sadist looking for good reference material.
ex: Final Destination
No attachment.
Most horror movies are stocked with characters whose chief attributes are sexy appeal, how dramatically they can utter stock lines uttered in EVERY horror movie, and how loudly (and sexily) they can scream. These characters do not draw anything remotely resembling empathy. They are not worthy of consideration, and if you WANT these people to die in horrible ways that detracts from the point of the movie, which is, ostensibly, to horrify.
ex: Freddie/Jason/Meyers, et al.
No hope.
One of the reasons there is more often than not no point to a horror movie is that at some point or another you find out there is in fact no HOPE of success, and oftentimes no hope even of survival. Nothing robs a scene of its dramatic elements quite like knowing that from a thousand choices can rise only one outcome. Futility sucks, and so do plots with no hope.
ex: Jeepers Creepers
For these and several other reasons I shall not bother to enumerate here, I hate horror... BUT:
There are some movies classified as horror that ARE worth watching. I shall list a few. If you think there are some that fit the bill filled by some of the following movies, then by all means add them to the list. Bear in mind that because I hate horror there are a LOT of horror movies I haven't seen. Following each recommendation I'll give a few brief thoughts. In no particular order....
House: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091223/
I like House for a couple of different reasons. 1) While it does have elements of horror in it, it is in fact actually an adventure comedy film disguised as horror. It's got some VERY campy moments, but you wind up caring for the central character who is in fact COMPETENT. Best of all, this film is not hopeless. Now, the plot is rather farfetched but... hell it's a horror movie. Grab some popcorn.
Cube: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123755/
The characters are unique and the acting is solid despite this being a fairly low budget canadian affair. Also notable is that there is absolutely no camp in this movie, anywhere. It is a suspense thriller with a bit of gore, but the gore is neither overstated nor is it the point of the movie, which makes it tolerable. I haven't seen any of the sequels yet, but I plan to. Once again, there is hope here. I also like the fact that while the outer shell of the story is not explained, everything within the cube is very specific and it all has a purpose. The threat is driven by the characters themselves, not some unknown hunter. Novel. Awesome.
1408: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450385/
John Cusak stars in a story about a man with no faith who ironically makes a living writing about hauntings and haunted locations. He meets his match in room 1408 of the Dolphin hotel. This movie is genuinely frightening in the classic sense, fear of the unknown, fear of being driven insane. A psychological thriller; be sure and watch the alternate ending.
Sleepy Hollow: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162661/
If you're a gamer, you'll like this movie. One of the forerunners of Sherlock Homes except this one really DOES have a supernatural twist. This is tagged horror mostly for ambiance and gore, but this is really more of an adventure film than horror.
The Rite: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1161864/
Suspense thriller.... very good. Anthony Hopkins puts in an excellent performance.
The Wolfman: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780653/
Action adventure thinly disguised as horror. Great gamer flick.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080749/
Another that ALMOST made the cut was "The Thing"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/