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searching exp. sadist for roleplay
13 years ago
everything over the line is disclaimer. Id feel evil without it.
summary: minors youre not allowed to read this by law; everything else, it will probably be pretty offensive; to everyone intrigued, Im complicated. not hostile xD (not timid too tho) just complicated. please understand this before reading on, please dont read on if you dont understand. (feel free to ask tho!)
/disclaimer
about the common ground, this is how I feel about powerplay/bdsm/mindgames/violence I wonder whether somebody actually made up the whole thread there, would kinda blow the point:
http://www.expats.cz/prague/printth.....1817&pp=40
if thats not for you, please tell your friend if you think they could like me! wont work without some breaking in tho.
pain and mindgames I search for.
I dont remember whether I started with greek or hammse but Im still searching for a master, tho for a classical one now, while a really twisted one, outside of taboos, outside of their relevance. I wanna collect a bit more data before I test myself, so I can think freely. I was born ready while I have my weaknesses, use no walls whatsoever while I can be confused, and am descriptive, tho I didnt write a book yet. irl Im an ethics nut, but in rp I wanna train the exact contrary if possible. thats the point: Im searching for a "unsalvagable" sadist. I wouldnt be suprised if that person was sweet like a puppy elsewise. over RPs an unstable one might fit better, the first kind has more fantasy, the second holds back less, Id really prefer both at the same time. Im sure thats possible somehow. maybe only a stable soul/ghost can serve the neccessary training tho?
I dont know if its a problem that I will only partly enjoy it, its more of an intuitive journey for the journey`s sake, a learning experience. I will pretty much feel what happens. probably more intense than in the act, since I think through all the alternatives because of the time. call me eager, I prefer curious, couragous, sensible. we will see how much you own me, but youll own my feelings for sure if you can that is.
no histerical victim who wants to take revenge on society: it shall be art! to earn kissing the fist first off, and then giving me the time to do it propperly out of generosity. or not xD if I should hazard a guess. personally Id like to cuddle when its over but.. *grins* yeah, well, I have no idea if you consider that even naive. well I dont think it is, but quenching that at the start will have to be your natural previlege. but I really cant think how that could work without complex reasoning. truth is a great challenge too. but thats also your choice.
Ive had my roleplay with "usage" (I dig freedom irl focus is not to shackle myself for now, but being owned certainly hit home propperly), that was the first twist, so now I wanna go mindgames and pain to complete the image. Im working through a SM bible with comments that were called elaborate while it lacks a bit honesty (still best Ive found for a while) so if you read this a year later or two I might [... well I dunno yet! xD]
Id have to invent a fursona tho if one is needed (lets see.. anakonda, bear, wolf, dragon, jason bourne? I would like to play an AI despaired in a paradox to safe a scifi city at risk and you are the hacker I wont recognize changing my conditions, that sounds great), actually Id prefer a human, but thats just me, you are the scientist, Im the experiment, as xanathos said! genius let yourself go. just allow me a little negotiation or something, hm?
then again if youd let me choose everything and later choose that I was insulent to have taken the offer... xD
it must be a mindgame, and a layered and structured one, something "you cant even tell anybody", or I wont learn.
summary: minors youre not allowed to read this by law; everything else, it will probably be pretty offensive; to everyone intrigued, Im complicated. not hostile xD (not timid too tho) just complicated. please understand this before reading on, please dont read on if you dont understand. (feel free to ask tho!)
/disclaimer
about the common ground, this is how I feel about powerplay/bdsm/mindgames/violence I wonder whether somebody actually made up the whole thread there, would kinda blow the point:
http://www.expats.cz/prague/printth.....1817&pp=40
if thats not for you, please tell your friend if you think they could like me! wont work without some breaking in tho.
pain and mindgames I search for.
I dont remember whether I started with greek or hammse but Im still searching for a master, tho for a classical one now, while a really twisted one, outside of taboos, outside of their relevance. I wanna collect a bit more data before I test myself, so I can think freely. I was born ready while I have my weaknesses, use no walls whatsoever while I can be confused, and am descriptive, tho I didnt write a book yet. irl Im an ethics nut, but in rp I wanna train the exact contrary if possible. thats the point: Im searching for a "unsalvagable" sadist. I wouldnt be suprised if that person was sweet like a puppy elsewise. over RPs an unstable one might fit better, the first kind has more fantasy, the second holds back less, Id really prefer both at the same time. Im sure thats possible somehow. maybe only a stable soul/ghost can serve the neccessary training tho?
I dont know if its a problem that I will only partly enjoy it, its more of an intuitive journey for the journey`s sake, a learning experience. I will pretty much feel what happens. probably more intense than in the act, since I think through all the alternatives because of the time. call me eager, I prefer curious, couragous, sensible. we will see how much you own me, but youll own my feelings for sure if you can that is.
no histerical victim who wants to take revenge on society: it shall be art! to earn kissing the fist first off, and then giving me the time to do it propperly out of generosity. or not xD if I should hazard a guess. personally Id like to cuddle when its over but.. *grins* yeah, well, I have no idea if you consider that even naive. well I dont think it is, but quenching that at the start will have to be your natural previlege. but I really cant think how that could work without complex reasoning. truth is a great challenge too. but thats also your choice.
Ive had my roleplay with "usage" (I dig freedom irl focus is not to shackle myself for now, but being owned certainly hit home propperly), that was the first twist, so now I wanna go mindgames and pain to complete the image. Im working through a SM bible with comments that were called elaborate while it lacks a bit honesty (still best Ive found for a while) so if you read this a year later or two I might [... well I dunno yet! xD]
Id have to invent a fursona tho if one is needed (lets see.. anakonda, bear, wolf, dragon, jason bourne? I would like to play an AI despaired in a paradox to safe a scifi city at risk and you are the hacker I wont recognize changing my conditions, that sounds great), actually Id prefer a human, but thats just me, you are the scientist, Im the experiment, as xanathos said! genius let yourself go. just allow me a little negotiation or something, hm?
then again if youd let me choose everything and later choose that I was insulent to have taken the offer... xD
it must be a mindgame, and a layered and structured one, something "you cant even tell anybody", or I wont learn.
