How can they not let her in? Your condo should be your, you should be able to have anybody you want living with you. That is crazy.

^ agree, they cant tell you who can and cannot live with you o.O thats just moronic, what does that make room mates that dont know each other? something sounds way out there...

Yeah, that was my question. But NOPE. NOPE in all caps. Commencing expensive, probably lost-cause legal battle that will bankrupt me and my entire family, probably won't accomplish anything, and will be highly entertaining to those assholes at the condo association.

Even if they can tell you who you can and cannot live with, there's still discrimination laws and the fact that they should have informed you of the restriction BEFORE taking your money. At the very least, they should have refused to sell you the place and never taken it in the first place.

As far as a long, drawn out legal battle? If they try to draw it out, be sure your legal battle includes you suing them for all the legal fees they're forcing on you. Then if you win, they not only have to give you back your money, but pay for all the trouble they caused. ...This is fuckin' ridiculous.

Condo's are never YOURS. Never. It's usually an association of some sort where even your neighbors can dictate what you cannot do.

Not just condos, but regular houses, if there is a Home Owners Association, CAN legally dictate rules you must follow if you buy in that neighborhood. It may be discriminatory, but if you sign the paperwork to buy, you are agreeing to abide by the rules of the HOA.

But isn't there some form of disclosure law that states that they have to tell you what they discriminate against in that neighborhood?

As far as I know, they are required to inform you of the bylaws and you must sign them prior to closing. So the question to Silver is: Did they disclose, and did you read the fine print?

Because Florida condo associations suck. My friend lives in one and got fined for hanging a wreath on his door for xmas. Apparently somebody found it offensive. *nods* Old people usually run the boards for the association and they get to call the shitty shots.

If you bought the place, how can someone else tell you who can and can't live there with you? O.o

Homeowner's Associations are a law unto themselves. They can foreclose on your house and take it away from you for fucking PLANTING ROSES (yes, this has happened). They are loathsome parasites.

BUT it has to be documented and signed and agreed to by the homeowner. The condo building has to prove that the rules exist and that she agreed to them.

But, but... you *buy* a thing... then it becomes yours, no? How come that association has anything to say about you?

Besides, surely she wouldn't have agreed to that?

I'm guessing there are no HOAs in the Netherlands, yes? Neighborhood associations and Condo associations are set up as collective organizations, and ownership in certain areas requires signing a document that you agree to abide by their rules, and you are forced to pay their dues every year. They can dictate what color you paint your house. They can dictate what CHRISTMAS decorations you put up (including FORCING you to put up Christmas decorations even if you're JEWISH). They can dictate how many cars you are allowed to own. And if you break their rules, they can take your house away.

We have some retarded things here, but not *that*. O.o

To clarify the above comment, those are some worst-cases. Most of the time they're very reasonable and help keep the neighborhood looking nice (no rusty cars or couches sitting in the front lawn). Many times the people in power get a bit out of control. And no, they can NOT take your house away. They can fine you for breaking the agreement, but your property does remain yours.

I've read a couple of stories of old couples and people being evicted for flying a flag or for... as the other guy said... planting roses when they were unwanted. Perhaps the frequency is low, but it DOES happen that some of those organizations go a little insane.

Because you're not really buying it, you're leasing it (in the case of a condo/apartment) or you take out a mortgage or whatever for it (in the case of a house), unless of course you have all the money up-front to pay for a house, but that generally doesn't happen.

There are Federal exceptions to this rule.... In fact a HOA in Texas has been in legal trouble for years for forcing foreclosure on a home owned by an enlisted person which is federally illegal. Though the guy has spent most of everything he has fighting back against the HOA the ruling seems to be absolutely in him recovering all damages, even those incurred from the lawsuit while also possibly bankrupting the HOA in the process.

I'm no lawyer, but i'm reasonably certain that a rental company can't discriminate against renters like that...if you both signed onto the lease, it isn't over the maximum occupancy, and there was nothing wrong with your credit or background check...that sounds pretty off color and illegal to me. Also, if they didn't tell you that up front then that should be grounds for a null contract.

It's not a rental, it's a condo. I've never owned one, and now I know why I never want to. http://www.investopedia.com/article.....#axzz1r5IzYquv for starters.

My "temperament" is not well suited to being told what I can and cannot do in my home. Hence, no HOA or CC&R for me, ever. I'll just stay away from condos. :)

You'll also want to stay away from buying a house in a development, as most of those also have HOAs. HOWEVER... most HOAs are reasonable and helpful, and those fees very often go toward maintenance of common areas, like parks, playgrounds, pools, or other recreational areas that are usable by all in the neighborhood.

This is why I fucking hate Florida.

IANAL, but,

First off, since I'm assuming that you were unaware of the whole thing with your girlfriend not being allowed to live with you, then you probably have a legitimate legal case against these people. I'd ask for my money back and threaten to sue if they don't give it back. Also give them the third option of keeping the money, shutting the fuck up, and letting your girlfriend, who, as another provider, would be able to increase your ability to pay the monthly bills.

Other than that, I don't know what advice I can give, although I'll look something up for you. No one deserves to be treated like this, not in the 21st century.

Also here's an excerpt from an article you might want to present to these assholes:

The Federal Fair Housing Act (FFHA) states: "It is the policy of the United States to provide, within constitutional limitations, for fair housing throughout the United States." Under the FFHA it is illegal to refuse to rent or sell housing, deny the availability of housing, block access to housing through renters or brokers, establish different terms or conditions for sale or rental of housing, or threaten, coerce or otherwise intimidate an individual in pursuing their right to fair housing based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex or disability.

Despite the expansion of protected statuses under the FFHA's 1988 updates, there is currently no federal protection against housing discrimination based on marital status. While many states have added such protections to their human rights and/or housing codes, thousands of municipalities nationwide presently have total discretion regarding housing discrimination based on marital status. The federal marriage exception has created a vacuum in which unjust housing practices disproportionately affect singles and families whose relationships exist outside of "blood, marriage or adoption."

Municipal zoning ordinances can often encode discriminatory housing practices and moral judgments about the validity of certain families and household arrangements in the name of "over crowding" and occupancy standards. Often, these ordinances neglect to consider the actual square footage of a residence, and instead focus on the number of "unrelated" individuals who occupy a single family dwelling. Such discriminatory practices made headlines this summer in Black Jack, MO, when a family of five was denied an occupancy permit for a two story, five bedroom home because Olivia Shelltrack and Fondray Loving were not legally married. Under the threat of a lawsuit brought by the ACLU on behalf of the couple, the Black Jack city council eventually amended its rules to allow unmarried partners to live together.

Full text here: http://www.unmarried.org/opinion-ho.....household.html

Were these rules disclosed to you in advance, in writing? If not, you have grounds for a theft by misrepresentation lawsuit. Personally, having lived in places with HOAs, when I bought the place I'm living now, I specifically searched for properties with NO CC&R's PERIOD. I despise HOAs.

The more I'm hearing about Florida recently, the less I'm liking it and it's legal/social practices. This is indeed a stellar situation and I hope that things do get better for you soon. I really don't see how they could have any legal say on letting your girlfriend live with you. It's seriously fucked up.
But, I do hear that the Colorado mountains are very lovely, but Montana is the way to go if you want to be a hermit.

DO stay the fuck out of FL if you can help it. DO. Trust me. I can give you a LONG list of reasons.

I'd love to hear them. Been thinking of moving, just in general, and like to hear pros and cons of places. So far, I've considered Maine, New Hampshire, California, and North Carolina.

First off, keep in mind that I'm originally from NY.

1.) SLOW. Everything down here is SLOW AS FUCK. In NY, you order a pizza, you got that shit in 15. Down here, you're lucky if you get it in an hour. Go to Walmart in NY, get your eyes checked, tool around the mart for an hour or so, come back, NEW GLASSES FTW! In Florida, the process takes a week and they ALWAYS get it wrong on the first try so you have to go back and get it done AGAIN.

2.) The doctors down here are fucking stupid. I don't even know how some of these people have gotten their medical degrees. We've had doctors do things like prescribed dangerous, inappropriate medications, fuck up scripts, fuck up bloodwork, forget who we are, confuse family members, routinely screw up scheduling, and misplace important paperwork, among other things.

3.) Crazy drivers. You haven't seen truly crazy drivers until you've been in FL. This is coming from a frickin NYer, mind you.

4.) Hurricanes. Generally they won't bother you too much on the west coast, but we got hit by Charley a few years back and we went 3+ weeks without power..... in the middle of 100 degree FL summer..... oh that reminds me...

5.) HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT.

6.) Also, HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID.

7.) Oh and MOSQUITOES MOSQUITOES MOSQUITOES MOSQUITOES MOSQUITOES MOSQUITOES MOSQUITOES.

8.) Very high unemployment rate, one of the worst in the nation.

9.) Very high foreclosure rate.

10.) Very high underwater mortgage rate.

11.) High crime rate.

12.) Poor schools and poor school performance.

13.) Ignorant, stupid, bigoted politicians WILL do shit that affects you.

14.) Oxy capital of the world. FL churns out 9Xs more oxy scripts than the rest of the nation COMBINED. What does that mean? A LOT of oxy heads on the road. Everyone down here has been in a car accident because of that. Everyone. Possibly literally.

15.) Really, really shitty parking lot/road layout. This is actually extremely annoying.

I can keep going. Trust me, I can.

All right! Not Florida. Good to know. :)

thanks!

minus a few things not much sound like az. although jersey has been pissing me off alot of late.

.. as bad as California is, and it's bad, trust me. News stories on the radio that are put in as "human interest" about dumb or crazy people doing dumb or crazy shit ALWAYS come from Florida.

Yup. Pretty much. I can almost always guess with high accuracy which news stories came out of FL based on how stupid they are. Naked man running around a major city screaming I AM THE GENETALIA OF SATAN evades cops for 7 hours? FLORIDA. Man robbing a house falls asleep in the victim's bed? FLORIDA. Man trying to rape 92 year old woman gets his ass kicked by said woman then tied up in his own clothes and hand delivered to the cops with a nice underwear bow on top? FLORIDA (although the guy was stupid, that was one BADASS granny). Guy dies of infection from fucking a horse? FLORIDA. FLORIDA. FLORIDA. 90% of the ridiculous stories in this country come out of FLORIDA. :P

SHIT can I relate to that. My boyfriend lives in Florida, and every so often he'll start telling me about something either very stupid or very horrible that happened in the news. I always interrupt him with, "Lemme guess. This either happened in Florida or California".

I'm usually right. :P

..Also I believe a lot of the bogus 911 calls about how McDonalds has no Chicken Nuggets, or so many of the, "?Hey Bubba, watch this!" type of accidents/stories come out of there too. Yeah. Stories from Eastern Europe area distant second on California News Radio. Hollywood gossip though is just the local business section. XD>

Scott

I thought the horse thing was Seattle? :)

Apologies in advance for a dumb question, but if you hate FL (and personally I don't blame you one bit), why are you making a long term commitment to living there?

Good luck with that stuff, what a pain. :P

Seattle too? Same thing happened in Alabama and Mississippi. Apparently this is an epidemic. XD

I would GTFO if I could but I can't and probably never will.

I enjoyed living in Southern California, but I think Seattle is still the best place I've lived so far.

Sounds like Oklahoma. XD I so totally hear you there, man. We've been having 110 degree weather here in the summer for the last few years, and with all the lakes around here, it gets MUGGY AS FUCK. OMG OMG OMG. Plus we have glorious dipshits like Sally Kern and Jim Inhofe. Inhofe needs to hurry the fuck up and die already. Holy shit.

Oooooh, Inhoffe. My condolences. Although I've got Rick Scott so.... XD

Rick Scott...

can we, like... just kick him in the face yet?

Crazier drivers are in Las Vegas, but that's because they either take lots of Meth, or they are drunk off their asses, and driving back to their house with the lights off at nights, so no one can see them, or there are ancient couples in RV's going really slow, and straddling lanes. so car Insurance is astronomical for the locals there. Also Las Vegas has higher unemployment and foreclosure rates, but hey. no humidity XD.

I remember taking a cab to the airport one time after a trip to Vegas, and saw a car which had curbed itself and became one with a bus shelter. No one was around, not even cops, and people walking by weren't paying it much mind.

I assume stuff like that happens a LOT there.

o.o

So often that the walls around the apartment complexes and condos and even the gated community where Nicholas Cage lives have "cartoon holes" of different colored brick where the cars punched half through the walls have been rebuilt with different colored brick, and marvel at the various altitude the cars intercepted the walls. It's like Forensic analysis of a particularly violent Warner Brothers Cartoon.The locals don't bother driving after dark unless they can avoid it, or are causing the problem themselves. It's crazy. Next time you are in town and driving in the residential areas around Rainbow, Flamingo , Jones, or the other streets west of the Strip.

Scott

Don't forget! If the ocean levels rise, Florida will be one of the first to go under! 8D;

Southwest Michigan! (Grand Rapids and surrounding areas)

1) Maybe not as fast as NY (it IS a tiny bit more Rural than NYC, lol) but an hour for a pizza? I'm 5 miles outside city limits and I can get one in 30 min.

2) Medical community is nationally recognized and growing rapidly, with some of the most state of the art research being done in downtown Grand Rapids. Fantastic doctors, who care more about treating their patients then billing as many patients as possible each day.

3) Well, people are stupid behind the wheel anywhere, but at least here most of the crazy is speeding and not stopping at stop signs.

4) What's a hurricane?

5) Summer - not as hot as Florida! Winter - COLD COLD COLD COLD

6) It's near Lake Michigan, might as well be an ocean, and it will get humid.

7) Only if you live near woods/lowlands area

8) This isn't Detroit. Michigan as a whole has high unemployment, but the SW is booming.

9) Foreclosure rate = cheap homes. But it's improving, meaning home values will increase, resulting in free equity.

10) Mortgage rates are REALLY good here, right now.

11) Again, this isn't Detroit, lol. There is some crime, but nothing compared to FL.

12) Very good education programs from Primary through University.

13) Well, this happens everywhere, but for the most part, the politicians on the national level actually listen to their constituents and seem to value equality.

14) Umm, no idea, but I doubt it's that high.

15) I like the roads, here. We even have something called a "Holland Left." Where you cannot turn left at major intersections, having to go past it to a u-turn with a stop light for oncoming traffic, then turn right at the actual intersection. (Not everywhere, mainly on the 2-lane state highways)

Tulip Time Festival every year. People from around the world come to this part of MI for the tulips. LOTS of Dutch, here. Notables are the DeVos and Van Andel families (founder and cofounder of Amway). President and First Lady Ford lived, died and are buried in Grand Rapids. Anthony Kiedis was born here. Floyd Mayweather, Jr still lives here and contributes to a lot of local charities. And Rosa Parks loved Grand Rapids so much she retired there.

I was thinking how great the Grand Rapids area sounded compared to all these horror stories too. GR itself is a little too 'city life' for me, but there's plenty of gorgeous countryside nearby to visit!

And hahah, the tulips are going to be LONG dead before Tulip Time this year XD Oooops, poor tourists >.>;;;;

Yeah, I'm in Holland, outside city limits, which is great. Close enough to GR to get great sushi, but still close enough to Otsego for the $5 movie theater :D

I'm really fond of Wild Chef right there in Holland for sushi! I was born and raised in Holland, but attend college in GR for now.

Too pricey for me. I'm on a budget, so Ming Ten in GR, near Celebration North, is my guilty pleasure. The selection isn't great, but for a buffet, the sushi is fantastic. The red snapper, in fact, is probably equal or better quality than you'll find at Wild Chef, and I get all I can eat for $7.29

"3.) Crazy drivers. You haven't seen truly crazy drivers until you've been in FL. This is coming from a frickin NYer, mind you. "
I have experienced this, when I was younger and my aunt took my cousin and I to Disneyland. It drove my aunt nuts...and she lives in NJ. X_x

"5.) HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT.
6.) Also, HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID HUMID."
I don't know how you can stand this. Fuck Florida weather.

"14.) Oxy capital of the world. FL churns out 9Xs more oxy scripts than the rest of the nation COMBINED."
They actually did a show on Discovery channel about this...about how people drive down to FL to transport it back up here in the northeast. Ugh. :\

I heard that FL could use a divorce lawyer or two :B

Meep, then if you ever get your money back, then move back to NY. I went out of state to visit my family in PR and it wasnt the same, mostly cuz you have to get a car to go anywhere and none of us knew how to drive x.x. Also, the "corner" store there is about 15 blocks away c.c

But i digress....come back to NY, honestly, with all its ghettoness, it has its plus points.

Plus Florida sux. Too much shit to deal with and no one wants to really help/understand ya <.<;

/fromNYC

Unfortunately, this isn't like a broken coffee pot I can return. I took out a 36K loan and now I am responsible for it. :\

fight for your money back. Law is by your side, no matter how much they seem to be in control. And plus most lawyeers would like to win a case before getting payed. Then again, im from NYC and the lawyers there are....yea, get some dirt on em <.< if you really wanna get outta there, work on being a mini detective and get some info on it and watnot. You CAN represent yourself as your own lawyer <.<

/endtrans

NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The worst is when it fogs up my friggin glasses. XD Lol.

*laughs hard* Ah, I love seeing northerners come down and seeing they've forgotten their gills. Growing up in the swamps of Miami, I can say that it's not so bad where you are, You'll get used to breathing hot water eventually.

oh gawd, i LOVE living in florida! (just wanted to say, i said LOVE with all the illustrious sarcasm i could offer)

one thing that makes me laugh tho, im a native born Floridian, slowness doesnt bother me much at all really.

also, i was around for charley, i live in Port Charlotte which is right next to Punta Gorda, which is directly where the storm hit. gotta love watching my cousin's chimney blow off the roof and into their pool cage..

but as far as stupid decisions in florida.. lemme tell you a story about grand little PC.

our high school happens to be directly across the street from the local mall, which as a result, the mall gets freaking slammed full of teenagers on fridays, and you know what happens when teenagers get bored.. basically the mall's numerously elderly citizens couldnt stand it anymore. so the higher ups devised a plan to build two new "resturants" in the parking lot right in the center of all the foot traffic that comes from the high school. one was a pizza parlor, the other was an ice cream shop (you know the kids these days love their ice cream and pizza..)

what happened? the pizza parlor closed up shop real quick due to high prices, and the ice cream shop gets mediocre business.. which didnt change the fact that the teenagers STILL went to the mall afterwords... they spent lots of our tax money to build these two "resturants" all so the old people will stop complaining.. and it didnt change a damn thing..

meanwhile i nearly crashed trying to turn onto a road that intersects with a major road at more than a 90 degree angle, forcing me to drive straight into the turn lane inbetween two SUV's because my camaro couldnt make the turn radius since the street i was turning off of had a speed limit of 55MPH (yeah.. id have to draw you a picture or something, but the point being i almost crashed due to poor road planning)... YAY FLORIDA!

but aside from all the terrible problems we have, we do have siesta key, which is a damn good beach. :3

our high school happens to be directly across the street from the local mall Is that the mall with the uh.... damn it, what's the name of that stupid theater... Regal Cinnema? I think? Is that the one? On Murdock circle?

Whereabouts in PC do you live? I'm all the ass-way down at the end of Deepcreek. :3

And yes, poor road planning in FL is TERRIBLE! Ehck. Believe me, I've got my own fair share of stories. X3

yep, only till i scrolled down did i notice you lived in PC xD

im off of midway, somewhere between the PC middle school and neil armstrong elementary.

and the street i was talking about was yorkshire and veterans... just DAMN.

MIDWAYYYYYY!!!! I avoid that road like the plague! It's so narrow. An inch one way and in you're in oncoming traffic. An inch the other way and you're ass-up in a ditch or plowing down people's mailboxes. XD Also, there are ALWAYS little schoolie-butts wandering around and the flashing signs that mean drive slower than a snail and cops hiding in the bushes, waiting to ticket you if you don't snaily-snail down the road at exactly 15MPH. XD UGH!

gotta love when they decided to widen it, wasted so much time and money and they didnt even get halfway..

Our tax dollars being shat down the toilet at work!

honestly what are the chances of stumbling upon someone living in the same city as you on the internet? xD

Florida is a biting sword, seeing as I've spent my life living in pretty much every part of it. You have to already know the ins and outs to make it here, because the rules for town A will be completely different from town B. (Panama City to Jacksonville is a complete 180 in attitude) If anyone did chose to move here, my suggestion will always be to never live IN the major cities. Smartest investments is places like Titusville.. Places with lower prices but easily within driving distance to whatever major city you chose to be in.

As for your condo issue, you have a copy of your lease correct? Is your significant other actually ON the lease? If you had already co-signed for the condo before they made this president look at the habitation clauses in the lease, it'll usually state things like "person or persons in the house for more then 60 days are required to be on the lease". It'll be in that section that they'd have to make claim for same sex clause. If it's not in there, they haven't a legal foot to stand on. Also how many bedrooms you have also dictates the occupancy.

What you're fighting against is a coding violation, if your SO is on the lease then they are at fault, and could null the lease but without monetary refund. They could wait you out, and collect your down and deposit, which is what they're doing. Taking the fight to them NOW is the only way you'll see a return in investment, because even if you win the fight for the SO, you'll be target for every minute and damaging detail of the HOA, and they'll fine you for every wind blown piece of trash and broken light bulb immediately and without just cause.

*shrugs* Florida has some of the worst housing issues, and if you're in a tourist city they are all set up with those kinda rules in condos to keep the aesthetics of the place.

Unfortunately, we did not put her on the title. We're trying to get her on the deed now. I thought perhaps I could sue based on discrimination against family status. They are after all refusing to let her in there because we're not married/blood related. But I dunno about that and I can't afford a lawyer. As for how many rooms? 2. There are 2 rooms so occupancy is BS. I don't even know what to do at this point. Even if we did put her on the deed, they're saying they still won't let her in. :\

If they're saying "not married or blood related" then does that mean they prohibit roommates? If unrelated roommates are allowed, but they're doing this based solely on the fact that you're in a relationship with her, then you may have them on violation of Fair Housing laws.

A condo is not an apartment, they should have absolutely no say on it because you own it. Even with an apartment, while they can require that only a certain number of people live there, and require that they know those people's information, they can't have a say on who those people are. Who's to say she's not just your roommate? Being your property, you should have every right to rent it out, which is more common than people actually living in it in Florida. You should request to see the documentation you signed that says you don't have the right to rent it out. I would get scans or copies of it...I would bet more people on here and elsewhere could help you from there (myself included...without them proving it, all I can say is that its 99% change of bullshit, which isn't helpful). If renting it is legal, then they have literally no ability to restrict who you invite to live in the property that you own.

I'd like to add, since you mentioned not being able to afford a lawsuit (and you're right!).... you wouldn't need to. If they cannot provide that this was documented and you agreed to it, you can simply have your fiance move in. Without the legal agreement to back them up, they couldn't prevent you from doing so. If they wanted to try, they would have to make the investment in a lawyer, which is very expensive for them too and they would be adverse to doing so unless they were absolutely right. In short- just make sure legally you're clear.

Since they cannot tell you what belongings to move into your place, and they cannot physically restrain her from entering the property, they have no grounds to stand on. The only thing I can imagine them legally restricting is putting the condo in both of your names. However, I didn't gather from your post that this is what you were trying to do.

They've changed their story from "you can't rent it out" to "you can only rent it out 6mo out of the year and the tenets have to jump through 28 different shaped flaming hoops first."

What do the CC&R's say?

I found this: http://homebuying.about.com/od/glos...../g/CCandRs.htm

So, some CC&R provisions are unenforceable. Whether "we hate lesbians" is unenforceable in Florida I would not know.

Sounds like time to consult a lawyer. Ideally the same one you used to vet the CC&R's in the first place / close the deal.

If you have a legal leg to stand on, you could see whether the ACLU is willing to take your case pro-bono. You can also use them for a consult in the first place.

And then there's the question of whether you want to live in a condo where you are frowned upon and people around you are going to stick their noses into your business. What vibe did you get when you talked to the other condo owners before you closed?

I'd say your options are consult a lawyer (possibly ACLU) or find another buyer and sell on. Throwing away 13k does not sound like a good option to me.

Thanks for the info. I appreciate it. I'll send this along to my mother and the GF and see what can be done.

If they change their story, it probably means they don't have it in the agreement. Check it, and then abide by it. If there's nothing in there, do what you want. They're not going to storm your condo and physically remove people.

They can change their story all they want but its the legal documents that make all the difference. If you didnt sign for these agreements and its no where in their terms then their point is moot. Go through all your papers and see if it says you arent allowed to rent or have other parties live in your house. If there is nothing stated that you cannot do this then they have no grounds to keep your partner out of the building or have a "room mate" that co exists in the house with you to help pay bills.

If you find none of this then their words mean nothing. They can try to change the rules all they want but if its not documented and you didnt sign for these new rules then they can't do anything in court with it. They cant force you to sign new rules either as you already signed to previous terms within the same year. In court papers/documentation talk, vocalized words mean little.

My friend bought an apartment, he has all say as to who lives in the apartment and if they can pay rent as these terms did not deny him in the papers he signed. The only main thing he has to be concerned about is amount of people living within the home and pets as dogs over 20lbs are not allowed and only 2 cats and/or dogs are allowed in the building. I currently live in his apartment.
If terms and conditions change then he has the option to leave/sell the house

unfortunately Condos are worse than apartments, because renters have more legal rights than Condo owners, because a condo is part of a collectively owned property agreement, and like most collectivist schemes devolves into tyranny both petty and great. HOA are granted broad rights in most states, predicated on making sure the property values are maximized. They can foreclose on your properties for aesthetic rules violations or morals violations which is what she is running into. You either need to rent an apartment or buy a detached house free of HOA, (and in California Mello Roos), if you want to live the way you want. Gated Communities also have overbearing HOA's as well.

Scott

No advice, I'm fucking stupid in this department
BUT
I'll meet you in those mountains. We can be neighbors.
I'll have livestock and you grow crops and we'll trade regularly.

P.s. I really wish life came with more butts than buts. We'd all enjoy it a bit more.
:(

naw, just means that there would be far more assholes that also come with

Floriderp must be veeery backwards.
I think there is a long wait list for hermiting in the Colorado Mountains

Hmmm..... I could also try the Oregon coast. I hear it is extremely lovely and temperate up there if a little rainy and overcast.

Come to Queensland, banks here accept Same sex co-signing

There's also state laws in Oregon forbidding housing discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Just stay away from the trail, I hear you catch dysentery.

If you move to Oregon, I'd suggest the Willamette valley/Portland over the coast. It's nice here, and the weather isn't... usually as crazy. Unless you're in line with the gorge, I guess. We sometimes get wind storms in the colder seasons, but if you're used to hurricanes, maybe they'll feel more like a light breeze to you. XD

I'm really sorry about your condo situation, though. :/ That shit is fucked up. Do what you can to get your money back - I can't really add advice since I don't know anything about this past what I've been reading in the comments, though. Good luck.

Oregon also apparently has some of the most progressive gender identity and safety laws in the nation (secondhand information)

cantact your local LBGT taskforce? let them know you're being discriminated against. they likely have all the advice you can get.

I second this. Not only will they have the information you need readily available, (whether or not what they're doing is legal) but they will also have plenty of information on how to battle it, and can probably connect you to the ACLU who will sue on your behalf.

and please note even the colorado mountains wouldn't leave you alone. They'd go poking at you with a stick because... well doing government stuff makes government folks feel important.

and this is why I think Marriage is a complete perversion on human nature.

It is. Marriage evolved as a way for men to expand their power-base by joining together multiple families into a single unit. Hell, the "Biblical" rules on marriage don't mention love even once, but they sure do talk a lot about property ownership and the duties of the wife to the husband.

Its sounds like bullshit to me

Like how would they know she is living there? Do they check the whole condo every day? O.o

How in the world would you document an engagement? A newspaper clipping? First you need to ask them what document you need for that. If they cant tell you they are so full of bullshit.

YAY FLORIDA!!! (Stuck here too, woo! Bought a house. Fucking headdesk.)
I don't know enough about the legality of the situation to be any real help, I just felt compelled to RELATE, NOT SYMPATHIZE.. with a "Florida is ass backwards" post.

Yeah. :\ Florida. Ehck. Biggest mistake of my life.

A quick check of Florida law turns up several places where it is actually ILLEGAL to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or expression (Palm Beach County, and Pinellas County, for example).

Gah. I'm in Port Charlotte/Punta Gorda. XC

OSHI, i only now read this!

did you go to the convention in PG? i was the guy in the fox hat. :3

Nope. I've never been to a convention. I would like to go to one at some point.

If they're going to give you shit after this much effort you and yours have collectively put in, then shout it from the mountaintops.

Contact the following groups and rally them for your cause (or at least get their input):

The Equal Rights Campaign
Any local GLBT groups in the area
Any and all local news media, including TV, newspapers, and online reporters
The Federal Trade Commission
Housing Authority
The Florida State Attorney General's Office
The Better Business Bureau

And while you're doing all this, make sure the people leasing the condo to you know full well everyone you're contacting. Sometimes, the mere threat of a major backlash from political groups, news media, and law offices is enough to make someone back down.

Oh, and get everything in writing. EVERYTHING. Get as many statements from the sellers as you can, including complete copies of your contract agreements, their operations policies, etc.

And get names. If this is a corporation, ask for supervisors. Ask the supervisors for THEIR supervisors. Keep going up the chain of command, letting EVERYONE know what's going on.

Bottom line: If they're making your life and finances a shitstorm for such an appalling reason, give them a shitstorm in return.

THIS! You are Queen Bitchcunt the Fucknificent and you shall smite them with your wrath!

Also there are enough of us out there willing to [strike]harass[/strike] help contact people and spread the word of your plight.

We shall be your army and make a huge deal maybe, kinda, sorta?

We're ripe for a coup in this country, so us progressive types ought to start making a louder fuss I think in order to force ourselves upon the old and befuddled bigots who don't know what the fuck they're doing anymore other than to keep doing it in an effort to feel relevant.

okay.. that, is so utterly, amazingly fucking stupid. FLORIDA of all places, we're lead to beleive that it's fine to do WHATEVER out there. jesus.. but, from being in the UK, there's not much helpful I can offer, other that words, a shoulder to chew on and a rather sturdy cricket bat to re-educate some HOA Kneekaps with

Homeowners associations are horrid, no matter what the state. I'm in a town home in Illinois, and the association here has been nothing but ass-rapeage from Day One. My only advice is to document EVERYTHING that even looks slightly unlawful. If things get bad enough that a lawyer might be able to take your case and reasonably assure you of victory, you've got all your ducks in a row.

All the same, talk to a lawyer. Most decent ones will skim over your case and tell you (with no or minimal charge) if you've got a chance in hell of pulling it off.

Furthermore, how are they able to keep her out? And how are they going to know if she's just spending time with you or living there? o_O

Worst case scenario, threaten to foreclose. NO ONE wants that to happen, because it will impact the price of every other condo. (This is where we're at with our place. We can make the payments, but the living conditions have gotten so mentally toxic that we can't live here anymore. Long story. >_< ) And if you really, really have to foreclose, do it soon. I don't know how much longer the government programs meant to help with this sort of thing will last. (http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/avoiding_foreclosure)

Hope this helps, even just a little. I know how much being this position can suck donkey dick.

Mentally toxic? Esplain?

My psycho neighbor is the poster-child for suburban red-neck. Every week, there's at least a case (usually two, often three) of Miller Lite kicked to the curb, the result of a week of binge drinking and really bad brats that make our unit reek of crappy cooking. And while she drinks, her kids run around in Good Will hand-me-down clothes three sizes too small. (Well, her little girl, at least. Her son gets everything. Fuck, it's horrifying.)

There's no sound-proofing between the units, and our psycho neighbor abuses her kids. (We found out after the fact that the previous owners called DCFS on her; all it did was make her stop leaving bruises.) Also, her sugar-daddy boyfriend moved in and brought his enormous stereo. The bass is so loud that it will rattle pictures off our walls. We called the cops, she laughed at us. We tried to get the association to help, they yelled at us for calling the cops. -_- Bass is a trigger for my PTSD, and as a result, I physically can't be here when it's going on, which is pretty much from 3 pm until midnight. Every day. We've spent over $10,000 in sound-proofing, and while we no longer hear her constant screaming, there's literally nothing we can do to stop the bass, and she won't reason with us. She also got her son a bass guitar that he plays VERY BADLY. (While her little girl runs around with battered and taped eyeglasses.)

And might I also mention that her son is a perv? I found him in the tree over-looking my bedroom one morning. He also throws k-bar knives at our shared fence and leaves machetes (sharpened ones) laying around. We called the cops to deal with that one, and even the cop was floored when she just tossed it in her recycling bin. She leaves trash all over her yard, tore up her back patio and left a pit of filth that filled with water and made our basement leak, and uses her charcoal grill under our WOODEN carport. The fact that the psycho-bitch hasn't gotten herself or her kids killed or maimed is a fucking miracle.

Ah yes, and have I mentioned that she works at the local school? -_-

The real kicker to all this is that she's friends with a member of the association board, so she gets away with all of it. Even the stuff that is explicitly against the rules of the association is hand-waved. It's maddening.

We've tried everything, but since it's our word against hers, even if we go to court over it, we'll spend more in fees that we'll get in return, and it's not like we'll get a dime out of her. It's not worth it, so we're going to quietly move. I hate that we've got to dupe someone else into this, but at this point, I'm almost beyond caring. The worst is that this was supposed to be a safe neighborhood. We did our research beforehand and even talked to some of the neighbors. (Seems that the only reason this is a "good" neighborhood is because the association pressures people into not calling the cops.) We thought we were making a good decision. Go figure.

Living under these conditions is...ugh. The only reason I haven't gone into a righteous fury and committed retro-active birth control is because my significant other has been there for me and has managed to talk me down. That level of rage and frustration (plus my PTSD) isn't mentally healthy, and it quickly becomes *physically* unhealthy, which means doctors, which means bills we can't afford.

There's more, but I'll stop there. I could write a small novel on the crap we've had to put up with. The sooner we get the hell out of here, the better I'll feel. I'm just glad that the market around here is showing signs of recovery. We'll be flat broke if we sell it now, but at least we'll be out. >_<

I wish you luck on getting out of your place. No one should have to put up with that crap.

Wow. O________O; I mean wow. I ....... wow.

Yeah...but there's a silver lining. A friend of ours moved to Florida for health reasons and can't sell his place, so we got to house-sit all winter.

His house has a jacuzzi and a steam room. Karma FTW! ^_^ (May something equally awesome happen for you and your situation.)

Ffft. Not likely. But thanks.

Start recording it. Document everything. Especially since it bleeds through into your private property it is legal and you can use it as evidence(I think, I'm not a lawyer). Everytime she abuses her kids or is committing a noise complaint issue, record it.

Then you can probably sue her/get her arrested/get the kids taken away.

They've made your life a living hell consequence free, it's time to let them get what is coming to them.

Not worth it. We'd be trying to bleed a stone. Trust me, we started going this route, but she's the definition of white trash. There's zero money in trying to sue her, and we'd end up losing money in lawyer fees. The relative peace before we move is worth more than vengeance. (Now, moving day? I'm turning up my own stereo and belting out the most obnoxiously music I can get my hands on.)

And as much as it sickens me, there's nothing we can do about the kids issue. If they get taken away, they'll be run through the foster system, which is likely to do even more damage. I'm not a good enough person to make the effort to get them out of there. I can't bring myself to care. The way they fight over there, they deserve each other. (More than once, I've hoped that they'd kill each other. So far, no such luck.)

As much as I want her to pay for the crap she's put us through, it's not going to happen. (And it isn't like she's living exactly consequence free. That's how she ended up with two kids she can't care for.) All I want to do at this point is get out of here. Afterward, I'll probably plaster the internet with warnings about moving into the area, but for now, I'm holding my tongue and hoping we don't have to short sale.

Why is it any of their business who you live with in a place that you own. and even if it was, why were these restrictions not mentioned before you plunked down your money? I don't know what Florida law is like on this, but you might have some legal recourse if they didn't.

How much fallout is there going to be over making your relationship official? It's probably worth doing some research to see if you can make a legal engagement in Florida. If that's not an option, and you can't get out of the agreement, can you at least sell your condo to someone else?

That's all I've got. I wish you luck.

We can't sell it. That would require even more of an investment than we've already put into it and that would bankrupt everyone involved. We've already stretched it by even buying the damned thing. :\

Oh, oh God. Imagine yourself living in a condo. Now, every one of your neighbors can be a busybody and make your life a living hell:

NDEPENDENT ENFORCEMENT OF CC&Rs

Q.
Can a member of a homeowner's association act independently to enforce the CC&Rs against another owner?

A.
Yes. The means for enforcement is either the court system or alternative dispute resolution (mediation or arbitration) depending on the type of violation.

(Source: http://www.hoaqanda.com/Nuisances.html)

This is totally fucked. I'd try giving you advice, but what I've read above covers everything I could think up and more. I hope you can figure SOME way to live there in peace with her. Fucking self righteous morons need some re-education. I won't say what kind since I'm a vindictive person who tends to get carried away.

I moved from Florida two years ago to the quiet countryside of Tennessee where you can do basically whatever the fuck you want. I practice with my handguns in the front yard for Christ's sake. No, there's no danger of anyone being shot! *laughs* I'm way in the boonies! I have run several businesses in my life. I was going to start one, completely online, in Malabar Florida. It's on the east coast about 40 miles south of Canaveral. There was a law in the town that ANY business had to be registered with the town. OK, fine. It's completely online so what's the hurt? I had to take pictures of my home, of my driveway, of the left side of my home, of the right side of my home, of my security system (No shit, I took a picture of my Rottweiler Max!), I had to have a diagram of my house indicating where the business and the FUCKING COMPUTER would be located! I got so sick of this I asked if I had to revise the business layout if I moved my computer from the bedroom to the living room. The official was not amused!

In a word Florida is terribly anal but you already knew that. Here's a suggestion for you. It won't help with your current situation, probably, but might be a way for you to go. I used to write for a newspaper. A tech column. ho-hum. I've read your stuff here. It's pretty funny. Look up local newspapers, mid sized ones, and send them samples of your writing. You may have to clean it up a little. *grins* Tell them you'd like to know if they'd like a weekly humor column about life from a woman's perspective. Most will say no but some are probably looking for filler. The pay is dirt but the secret is having a column in several papers. Contact friends on Twitter or here on FA. Ask if they have contacts at newspapers, ask if they can put in a word for you. Ask folks on Twitter the same thing and ask them to ask their followers for you. I'd also contact the local newspaper and tell them your story. Papers always like a David and Goliath story. See if you can put some heat on these assholes and do it with no cost.
You have a head on your shoulder. Turn that into a major positive and go out and see if your sense of humor can help you out of this.

Hell, set up a blog and put a paypal Donate button on it. Post a small bit of humor daily and ask people to mention it on Twitter. It's work but it can be done!

Best of luck!

Half tempted to tell you to come up here, but I don't think that will work.
On the other end, I've considered an experiment involving Kickstarter. You could explain some of your situation, offer artwork for donations, with a 'I'll do this for Y amount' sort of deal there, and try to get some of the money that way. Even if you make just a grand, that's a grand you didn't have earlier. Might mean you're doing artwork for the rest of the year though.

By the way, sorry to hear you were forced to come out, but happy to hear you've got a loved one. I hope it works out for you both somehow.

Being in the hotel industry for the past 9 years near the beach in AL on the florida line.... let me say something doesn't sound 'right'. After paying so much for it, they should be able to tell you who can and can't stay at your property.

You need to contact a lawyer that handles property, real estate and the like. Tell him whats going on and see if what they are saying is legal, because I've NEVER heard of that kind of BS here in Alabama with 90% of our properties on the beach being condos thanks to Hurricane Ivan.

shouldnt*

Just woke up.

1.) go here: http://www.handelonthelaw.com/home/ and find a real estate lawyer in Florida to ask questions. they usually do not charge for that. but failing that see if you county has a legal aide society.

2.) contact the press in a larger market. emphasize the discrimination.

3.) Get everything in writing. and copies of that writing go into a safety deposit box.. just in case.

4.) Realize you were stupid to buy a condo, rather than a crappy yet completely detatched house, free from HOA's, ( Or even a converted Bus into a large RV, where you can move, if need be.)

5.) Start planning for a Plan B. Relocation, real estate swaps.

6.) If you can cook waffles and pancakes, there are always high paying jobs in the inter-mountain west for people willing to work in the new oil fields.

Just say fuck it and move to Canada!! But seriously, they're discriminating against you and you should take them to court. Either that or get engaged *lol*

move to germany. we're retarded and effed up, but not like THAT. and at least our doctors aren't compeltely dependent of the pharmaceutical industry.


meanwhile,. good luck!

In spite of my wife's efforts to defend her state of origin, this just makes me put my hands up and go, "SEE?"

Her trouble with the doctors was a huge one; she's got a twisted leg thanks to the way the retards set it.

Also all the Floridians who drove like assholes, some time a few years ago, heard that Johnson City was a NICE PLACE WITH NO ASSHOLES ON THE ROAD.

Guess what?

Wanna guess? No?

OUR ROADS ARE NOW FULL OF ASSHOLES. I'm so SHOCKED!

Silverone, many people are anxious about coming out about this. Many feel unaccountably ashamed. But it's alright. Literally millions of people are out to the world as being Floridians. You're not alone.

And your mom has probably already guessed that you live there. Parents usually know.

(don't kill me!)

I actually loled. It was a muted lol tinged with bitterness..... but it was a lol nonetheless. Considering the circumstances, I'm amazed I managed even that much. *hands you +1 internets*

What if you and your girlfriend would marry? Would they then let her in? And if the condo is sold to someone else, won't you get your money back (but some loss)? Or is USA weirder than I thought?

No gay marriage in FL. Actually, no gay marriage in most of the US. Even in places where there IS gay marriage, I don't think they confer all the same legal benefits.

You were quicker. Sometimes I wonder how intolerate and prude the land of liberty is. Just let me say argh once again.

Land of liberty. Lols.

Hey, you are from NY. You know there is a lady standing in the harbor and she represents... oh well, I forgot she came from france. And obviously never touched the land.

>>
Even in places where there IS gay marriage, I don't think they confer all the same legal benefits.
>>

They do, on a state level. Same-sex marriage is no different from opposite-sex marriage. That's what the "marriage equality" hoopla is all about. I have all the rights of any married person within my state.

On a federal level, you are considered single, because of DOMA Section 2. DOMA is under attack on multiple fronts - see www.glad.org, they have oral arguments today! - and President Obama has directed the justice department to no longer defend DOMA Section 2, as it is believed to be unconstitutional.

This educational message brought to you by the letter Q

Oh they do? That's great! I'm actually glad to hear that. My GF and I hope to move back to NY at some point.

They do, absolutely. Wikipedia has a decent cliff note on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-s.....#United_States

I am a confused puppy. DOMA Section 3, of course. Section 2 is not being attacked here.

Does that include shit like "domestic partnerships" and all the other bullshit names they give the civil agreements of gay people because they might just have a stroke if they actually call it "marriage"?

No, it does not, necessarily. "Domestic partnerships" are a classification that is created exclusively for same-sex partnerships. Separate is seldom equal. Depending on the state, a domestic partnership may or may not receive all of the benefits of a marriage on a state level. CA, for example, does extend all the benefits of marriage to domestic partnerships.

Except, of course, that "my partner" meets with a different reaction than "my husband". People understand "husband" and they understand "wife", it's how most of us grew up. This stuff goes deep. "Partner" works, but has always felt separate to me, and it's a feeling I did not relish.

The harm done by calling what is essentially a marriage by another name, and by creating a wholly separate category for it just for same-sex couples, goes beyond the concrete monetary benefits in state law. It extends to social integration and status, very much.

I don't know how marriage vs. domestic partnership would affect hospital visitation rights outside your state. I'd be thinking that "my husband" is less likely to get you kicked out of the room than "my partner", but you never know. It'd depend on who you are dealing with in that moment, as much as the laws.

Personally, I like being married. Now that I am, I do not wish to move to a state where I would suddenly no longer be married. Plus, there'd be potential for a really awkward situation should we ever wish to dissolve our marriage: You can't divorce in a state where your marriage is not valid. You also, usually, cannot divorce in the state where you got married in the first place without being a resident there, which usually means 6 months.

Oh, just forgot, same-sex union and Florida/USA would be a problem, too... argh...

http://www.bankrate.com/finance/mor.....in-home-1.aspx

have your mother legally adopt her ? yeah yeah i know slap me

However you can do it, get your money back and GET THE HELL OUT OF FLORIDA. A word of caution about the Oregon coast, however: the largest town there is Coos Bay, pop. 20,000 mostly unemployed people. All other towns are less than 10,000 people and are similar in the employment area - there are no damn jobs, except for seasonal stuff. Portland (where I live) is 75 miles inland and is AWESOME. A little bit expensive real-estate wise, but there are jobs for creative people and a much more liberal attitude in general.

Oh my god.... what a mess. I'm so sorry to hear that. :( I'd put some feelers out for a lawyer, some would take a case like this on pro-bono, or so I have heard. Really look into it. That is SO not fair.I wish you guys the best.

I don't pity you. I understand you. I've been wanting only the same things for most of my life. It seems though, that when you're not a greedy, selfish, angry nasty bastard, the people in charge of these things take their chances to shit on you and laugh. Every. Single. Time.

...Can you explain to me how it's not possible for you and someone else to share a condo? I don't understand these things. Didn't you get her to co-sign into owning the place? ...Or *couldn't* you get her to co-sign on owning the place, like you can have multiple names put on a lease? Is the place THAT small that you're not allowed to have someone else come live there with you... or that closely watched that anyone would even KNOW if someone else were there living with you, or would report it if they were?

Is it the tenants who are objecting to you and your girlfriend living there together, or is it the owner? Will they now not give you back your money? Isn't this a kind of discrimination, doing this to you, and can't you use that to either get back your money or get them to let your girlfriend live there with you? Is this written down someplace, that you and only you or your family or legally married, male partner can live there? Did they point this out when you were buying it? This too seems like something you could use against the owner in court, since I'm pretty sure it's illegal to discriminate AFTER being paid, without informing the person buying the damn condo. :-\

This is all kinds of fucked up, but try not to just give up on it. Try to either get your money back, or have your partner let into the place. I have a strong feeling that you'll have a couple of laws behind you on one or the other.

Even if we put her on the deed, they're saying they won't let her in unless we document our engagement or if we were related by blood which we're not.

How about the other things?

Did they tell you that this was the case before you moved in? Is it written into your contract? If they didn't have it down before you moved in, then they can't suddenly just TELL you that it's so.

And keep in mind what I said... if they refuse to give back your money and you do take them to court, sue them for legal fees so you won't have to pay them yourself. They could have avoided this all in the very beginning if they had told you what they did after they had your money in hand. :-\

"The Punta Gorda Housing Authority shall not discriminate because of race, color, sex, religion, familial status, disability, or national origin." Every other housing law site I can find per city in Charlotte County has the same thing, that no level of housing (leasing properties, housing assistance, etc) can lawfully discriminate because of race, religion, sex, gender, sexual orientation, familial status, national origin or disability. This all supported by the Fair Housing Act.

I'm somewhat appalled that sexual orientation is not covered in all of the PGHA areas, but upon further reading I'm finding that unmarried (same-sex or other-sex) couples can get around any blocks by getting legal documentation of a domestic partnership, which essentially gives you "familial status" with each other. I suggest doing that with all due haste. Documentation is key.

Also, if you want to pick at their own policies a bit; if both you and your girlfriend are on the lease (or whatever it would be for a condo, but I'm going to call it a lease for the sake of ease), then in doing credit and background checks as per normal housing procedure (not to mention, just reading your paperwork and seeing your last names and marital status), your property managers should have realized that you were not related through blood or marriage, yet they STILL went ahead with your lease. So any problems they have are their own damn fault. If this really is legitimate policy of theirs, then THEY broke the rules by going forth and approving you guys, and YOU should not be penalized for it. You have signed off and paid as you legally agree to, and now THEY need to stick to what they LEGALLY agreed to. Not to mention, if you signed a year-long (or however-long) agreement and they're trying to change it, they legally are required to give you notice (usually anywhere between 30 and 120 days) to make your necessary accommodations. They can't say "It's different NOW." Hold them to the notice period, and use that time to get a Domestic Partnership Agreement, or talk to a housing lawyer (usually they'll do a quick consultation pro bono, or cheap) to find what avenues you can take, or contact the local news stations, or whatever you're going to do. And see if you can find out what's going on with the other tenants, like if there are any other unmarried couples there; if they are going to make any sort of policy change, they have to make it for EVERYBODY or it is clear-cut discrimination.

The thing is, if they cannot discriminate on the basis on familial status, then the fact that they are NOT family cannot be used to keep them from cohabitating in the condo. (Not family = a valid familial status)

Sue. On the grounds of discrimination. Claim this restriction on how you use the condo is invasive and doesn't effect the other members.

Sue both the condo board AND the relator --who is required to inform you of any such restrictions BY LAW. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU DID NOT ASK! THEY ARE REQUIRED TO INFORM YOU. IF THEY DID NOT. THEY'VE BOUGHT IT! DEMAND THEY EITHER FIX THE PROBLEM OR GIVE YOU THE MONEY BACK. ALL THE MONEY; CLOSING COSTS, TOO.

Umm....this sounds like bullshit....my grandmother's co-worker friend had a condo in Destin, FL, and she was allowed to let anyone stay there. Different condos may have different rules, but I don't think they are allowed to discriminate....push come to shove, tell them she's your sister and sneak her in until you can settle out the legal side of it.

Frankly, as long as they're getting paid, why should they care?

They already know she's not my sister. They made us jump through 28 different kinds of hoops already and the hoops just keep on coming.

HOA's are evil, vile things, run by people who like shoving their noses into other peoples businesses.

I agree with Vicky on this one. Realtor should have mentioned any problems, condo board needs a strongly worded note from the ACLU. Start documenting everything involving the situation.


As for a down-payment, its just that, you can hold up the sale, cancel the check, void the transaction if the demands are being unreasonable.
Other option is moving in anyway. Possession is 90% of the law, once in they cant throw you out onto the street. (My dad ran apartment buildings and even not paying your rent for months on end, wouldn't get a court to evict someone physically)

http://definitions.uslegal.com/f/family/

According to that (and it cites Florida statutes), you could probably argue the legal definition of 'family' and pull it off. If all else fails, you could try following the latter part of this:

"Family is defined as “one or more persons occupying a single dwelling unit, provided that unless all members are related by blood or marriage, no such family shall contain over five persons, but further provided that domestic servants employed on the premises may be housed on the premises without being counted as a family or families." Greene County v. N. Shore Resort, 238 Ga. App. 236, 237 (Ga. Ct. App. 1999)"

If you write it up as, for example, she's helping with bills XYZ, and doing *some* housework for room and board as a 'part time' sort of job (you'll have to work out what would be best for the two of you) then they can't quite tell you no without stepping in a steaming pile of legal crud.

well that sounds entirely weak and suspicious. i guess i can understand people being a bit daft about what constitutes a family unity, but why wasn't it made clear you could not have non-relative room mates? maybe you should just adopt her.

She's not your fiance. She's your roomie.

We're not related by blood therefore we cannot cohabit.

Well, there goes my attempt at a loophole. Man, that HOA is retarded. Good luck to ya.

If the local Housing Authority has anything in their policy along the lines of: "Housing Authority shall not discriminate because of race, color, sex, religion, familial status, disability, or national origin" then you have a legitimate violation of HA laws and can sue successfully. The fact that you are not related means you are not a family, meaning your "familial status" is that of "not family" and therefor they cannot discriminate against you or deny you or your girlfriend housing on that basis.

Oops, that is actually in federal law. You cannot be discriminated in housing because you are or ARE NOT family. As Bearking posted below, report that shit. But even more, make sure they know even before the letter goes out that you are reporting them for violation of Federal Housing Authority laws.

We may end up having to go this route.

I wouldn't worry about it and just let her stay there anyways. My friends couldn't add another person to their lease so they just had him sleep on a bare mattress on the floor and hid it when the landlords came over. I'm sure you could do something similar. Since it's your girlfriend it might even be easier since I'm assuming you would share a bed. The worst they could do is kick you out, and at this point you're already going to be looking for another place anyhow. Worth a shot!

get to the news about it. literally. places like that shit their pants when they get reported on TV for manipulation.

http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD.....discrimination

File a complaint.

Write a demand letter.

You know what? I might just do that. Thank you. Very helpful.

I don't know if you meant that last bit seriously, but I do when I say Colorado's a lovely place to live.

That shit really blows though. Wish you luck sorting it.

Lawyer time.

Expensive. And all my interactions with lawyers have been overwhelmingly negative.

...not lawyer time.

the idea that same-sex relationships are still not recognized is so stupid. Here in New Zealand, we have a system for 'partners' (people who are not legally engaged or married) who can still invest in a home, even as same gender~. They just share a house *shrug*. But oh man - I do hope it works out better, cause that is just too many hoops. ^^;

It differs from state to state. I bought a home with my unmarried partner who is male. In Maryland, you can buy homes with non-spouses. People do it all the time. We don't have a home owner's association either. Or city rules, though technically I'm in a city zip code. I can still own livestock (chickens for me, a neighbor of mine has goats). Reading the fine print is v. important. Before you sign your credit or money away. Florida is stupid. My dad's BF lives there and he was going to buy a condo and bailed because it was just too much of a ridiculous hassle.

Regardless of the same-sex relationship, this place is violating federal law by discriminating on the basis of her family status, namely that they are not blood-related.

My roommates and I ran into a very similar situation due to the stupid rental laws in Florida. However, we were told that no more than 3 unrelated people could rent a house; two was fine, as they allow my two roommates, who are an unmarried couple, to rent together. As for me, I'm simply not officially living here. >.>;

Those kinda of laws exist in a lot of places. Called "brothel laws". But these days it is more about illegal immigrants than prostitution ;) Easy to skirt as long as you don't piss off any neighbors who might call the county on you.

Come to Minnesota. :) We're GLBT friendly.

Ahk! Horrible ex-boyfriend in Minnesota. XD Isn't Min very conservative?

Lol what? We're actually one of the nicest and most understanding states. Learn more about us. We're actually a really nice state. Plus I have like, a million glbt friends here. we have one of the highest concentrations of glbt as well.

MICHELLE BACHMANN.

She hasn't been re elected yet, There is still a chance! :o

We like to concentrate all our evil into one handy person.

Come to Minneapolis! (Ms B can't set foot in MPLS without catching fire)

I did some thinking.... and i have discovered i can't help u cause i solve 90% of my problems with the statement "burn it with fire!"

but one idea is ask all of your adjacent neighbors if you can have a second person live with you. Then take there signatures to the landlord (or whatever) and Then they will have no reason to say no! also when you ask for the neighbors signature bring pie, everybody likes pie.

I'd really, REALLY consider writing a letter to the ACLU. I don't think these rules are enforceable, and if they try, they could be subject to (federal) housing discrimination laws.

So get married and write up a pre-nup if you're worried about being committed.

Have you not lived in Florida before?

If you end up decided you hate each other, the divorces are cheap, convenient, and fast.

If you actually like one another enough to, I dunno, buy and furnish a condo together, you might be in it long-term anyway.

I'm not trying to be snide. But if they're making stupid legally-binding rules, be better at the game.

Marriage doesn't mean "trusting that you'll stay with the other person forever," legally. It merely means "trusting the other person not to turn into a psycho-hose-beast if you break up."

Would you be living with your girlfriend, if you thought she was going to kill you in your sleep or take all your stuff?

LunaticMoth, they're enforceable in that you can't afford to defend yourself in court, and the ACLU is not going to help you against a homeowner's association. If the government told you you couldn't live somewhere because you were the wrong color, or that you weren't allowed to practice your religious beliefs, they'd probably be in a position to help, but their purpose isn't to assist people in contractual disputes against non-government entities for the most part - it's to protect people against having government and legislative entities deprive you of constitutional rights. Living unmarried in a condo isn't a constitutional right, even though that sort of thing should be nobody's goddamn business.

Heck, I've known _gay_ people in Florida who have ended up getting married to members of the opposite sex (friends) just to get past the legal hurdles.

But my constant advice to anyone living in Florida, who has difficulties peculiar to the only state with it's own "fark.com" tag, is "GET OUT."

I spent twenty-eight years in Florida. It's a crazy-pit.

It's to protect people against having government and legislative entities deprive you of constitutional rights. You don't think freedom from being discriminated against based on familial status is constitutional right? They're basically saying she can't move in because we're not married/she isn't my blood. I doubt it would float but well.... who knows.

I think in Florida, you'd have to have a civil lawsuit which could take months or years, and there's probably either ordinances or HOA rules hiding in the contract that say they can prevent unrelated people from living together. Those are usually intended to keep poor people and college students from sharing a house, but they're inflicting them on you.

It is grossly unfair, and disgusting behavior, and it shouldn't happen to you or anyone.

But it's likely you'll have to take the case as a civil case, and that it will cost a lot of money to do so. You might see if there are rules about domestic partnerships in Florida (there weren't when I was there, but that was some years back).

I've known several gay couples in Florida who have gotten legal marriages to persons of the opposite sex just to get around weird strictures - and I'm guessing there's straight people who have done so. Perhaps I've just gotten very cynical about the importance of marriage, since it's been made such a political, social, and discriminatory bargaining chip, that it seemed like getting one just to get around nonsense rules made sense - and perhaps that was in poor taste.

But I hate to hear of anyone getting into a rotten situation like this, and my heart goes out to you. It's extremely unfair, but there may be little reasonable recourse.

And no, freedom from discrimination based on marital status is not a right guaranteed in the constitution either of the US, or the state of Florida. Unfortunately, instead of having a rule like "You can't discriminate against anyone for any reason which is stupid or hateful or ignorant," there are specific protections outlined (or left out).

There's places in this country where my spouse and I could be thrown out of a rental, or be fired from a job for being gay, because freedom from discrimination based on gayness isn't the law everywhere. Same thing for this situation (and no, I'm not trying to get on a gay soapbox, just drawing a parallel). You can't discriminate in housing based on race or religion, but depending where you are, it's perfectly legal (and sometimes a law or ordinance codifies the rule), to say two unmarried people can't live in a place.

Now, I do know believe Florida does have some kind of law that you can't get someone to sign away a legal right, and you may have property rights based on your ownership/investment in the condo - it's not like you are renting/leasing it. I believe Donald Trump or some other rich person once sued the state because it made a rule that he couldn't explode a reef near his property, claiming that it lost value because they wouldn't allow him to "improve" the property - possibly something like that would apply - if you paid for something that you are now unable to properly utilize. You'd have to get an attorney, and trust me, going to court for any reason is a nightmare. Not just unpleasant, but nightmarish.

Again, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It's abominable.

Wish I could help somehow.
Sadly all I can offer you is my spare room. Might be big enough for two. (At least there's a double bed in it!)

No pity here, just a hope that things will get better for you soon.
*hugs*

I live in Florida too, and I can tell you, it sucks here.
GO FAR, FAR AWAY.

P.S. I've lived here for my whole life, in all parts of Florida, and they. All. SUCK.

Came down here from NY. Biggest mistake of my life.

If I can be curious, what area?
I'm around Tallahassee.

Southwest, Punta Gorda/Port Charlotte. We got nailed by Hurricane Charley. Literally came right through our back yard, right up the peace river only a 2 minute walk from our house.

292 mi, 5 hours 5 mins
^Googled it for fun.
How far away we are.

Would getting a power of attorney for the girlfriend count as "documented" enough for them? Because that would seem the most expedient method of doing so. Either financial or medical. or both. ONE OF those would seem to work.

" default on my student loans "

Don't go that route. You never, ever get away from them. EVER.


They don't allow you to have a room mate ? ( make some crap up )

make some crap up Can't. There is pretty much no crap to make up at this point. They're saying more or less there is absolutely no way she will be allowed to live in there because they don't want to start a "precedent" i.e. legalize butt-covering term for "we don't like faggots." Although they have given us a possible avenue, we'll see how it works out. My guess is they're just dicking us around.

So they dissalow same sex roomates? Seems odd as damn near everywhere else allows it. As long as you pay your bills who cares ? ( yeah I live in a sheltered world apparently )

Pretty sure a discrimination suit will change their mind in a hurry.

If it comes to that, we will go that route.

okay, I just want to apologize right now; but the first thing to pop into my mind when Iread this was "Holy crap, you're playing for the other team?"

As for what really matters;
I'm really sorry to hear you're having such troubles. In the worst case, can you get a refund and attempt to find a place in another state? I keep hearing such bad things about Florida.

I'll admit that may not sound like much to me; I've been pretty nomadic most of my life, i enjoy moving.
But I know there HAS to be a better place out there. Try Wisconsin sometime.

Just avoid Illinois-- AVOID it like the cesspit it is!!

Actually I'm bi. :B Though I do tend to lean towards the ladyfolks ever-so-slightly.

XD Why should I avoid Illinois? :P

Blatantly broken healthcare system and corrupt law system (My family has been actively turned away from hospitals here before, and 3 out of the last 4 of our senators have been convicted of felonies). There is also a rather strong misogynistic sentiment at work in the judicial, healthcare, and economic systems.

The public services (roads, libraries, mail, etc.) are all expressly provided by LESS than the lowest bidder, when they are provided at all. Broken tax laws, and the fact that the entire state is either small towns filled with incredibly judgmental and nosy neighbors (who hate newcomers and actively try to get them arrested, heckled, or otherwise pestered into leaving), or Chicago (which is a cesspit all its own).

We also hold several records for asinine laws-- one of which being that no more than two woman can live in the same residence unless they are related by blood (which they claim is meant to prevent the formation of brothels) and it is illegal to Speak English within the state lines.

Literally, it is a state law that you cannot speak English.

*Scratches Illinois off list of potential places to flee when FL goes up in smoke*

There's many reasons I left Florida, and don't even like to return to visit. And there's a reason the state has its own tag on Fark.com.

If you've lived there all your life, it's easy not to realize what a madhouse it is until you move.

Yeah. :\ And I came down here from NY too which only makes it worse because I'm used to things not being totally stupid. :P

I really hope things look up, and you find a way out of this.