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some days you get the bear...
17 years ago
and some days the bear gets you.
Well folks it's over- my great big beautiful dream job is OVER.
What I didn't tell you nice folks is that this first month with the company was a trial period. They wanted to see how good I was and how compatible I was with the group. And I scored well on both of those fronts. The problem arose as I waited for my bosses to decide my fate...
I do NOT react well to stress
I do NOT become stronger in the face of adversity
I do NOT keep my composure when things go wrong
...the stress and fear of whether I was going to KEEP this job got to me. I felt dizzy and nauseous from the fear and my work, which was great before the stress set it, deteriorated, my mood deteriorated and my bosses noticed. I got stressed and made mistakes and slowed up.
And there my fate was sealed. No matter how good I was my stress destroyed me. And the company didn't keep me. And my great big wonderful new life was over just as it had began.
This was more than a job to me. I wanted this career to make me as a person and justify every decision I made in my miserable life. Instead of validating me this job became another in a long list of failures in my life. So....just in case anyone was wondering...
-TA
Well folks it's over- my great big beautiful dream job is OVER.
What I didn't tell you nice folks is that this first month with the company was a trial period. They wanted to see how good I was and how compatible I was with the group. And I scored well on both of those fronts. The problem arose as I waited for my bosses to decide my fate...
I do NOT react well to stress
I do NOT become stronger in the face of adversity
I do NOT keep my composure when things go wrong
...the stress and fear of whether I was going to KEEP this job got to me. I felt dizzy and nauseous from the fear and my work, which was great before the stress set it, deteriorated, my mood deteriorated and my bosses noticed. I got stressed and made mistakes and slowed up.
And there my fate was sealed. No matter how good I was my stress destroyed me. And the company didn't keep me. And my great big wonderful new life was over just as it had began.
This was more than a job to me. I wanted this career to make me as a person and justify every decision I made in my miserable life. Instead of validating me this job became another in a long list of failures in my life. So....just in case anyone was wondering...
-TA
well, you should've explained youself to them~ i knwo i would've~
I suggest that you use it as a chance to address those weaknesses. After all, if you give up now, the only person you'll be letting down is yourself. If it's really something you want that badly, don't give up, just address the cause for concern and keep at it.
Remember that nothing worth having comes without a fight, and you'll make it eventually.
This day is just too much fun.
... we rape it to submission. :D
Keep yer chin up, things can always get better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJE5cBGgTSU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noR3qbCWs9g
"All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamer's learn to steer by the stars.
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamer's tend to look at the cars,
turn around, and turn around, and turn around.
It's not as if this barricade, blocks the only road
It's not as if you're all alone in wanting to explode."