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MY AUNT IS HAVING DANGEROUS SURGERY...
13 years ago
SA-X, Walkerfire, Sammonaran, Raiok, Ashanriu, Wasdramer, Zyraph. Too many names. X3
Maybe that title will actually catch someone's attention...but it's the truth. This is extremely important. I have to tell you all something, and it scares me. It hurts more than anything else has yet...
My aunt has to have surgery on Tuesday. She has a large mass in her brain, and it could possibly be cancer. She already has skin cancer, so it's not that far out of the question. Even if they remove the mass, it's possible it could render her unable to properly do thing or say things. It's also possible this surgery could kill her, or make her have a stroke.
In addition, she was robbed a week ago, she got in a car wreck last week and her car isn't in working condition, and she's not been herself at all.
Combine this with her staying at my grandmother's (and has been anyway because she broke her shoulder months ago and is still recovering), and my grandmother is stressed because we're literally one check away from shutting down the business every single week, she's facing multiple possible lawsuits because she can barely make payroll, yet alone pay for the materials she has to use...and then my mom can barely get money from work, and she has a $700 house payment, $80 for groceries every week, $300 for utilities, and then who knows what else...and I can't make shit for money because the only reason why I was getting hours one week was because I was working on a site, but since we could be closing permanently, we abandoned it.
My life is hell...entirely...all of this, is completely outside of my control. There are two things within my control that I have to worry about:
phone bill
student loans
Student loans don't start until January, so I have a little time. My phone bill is due on the 26th, and I believe I'll have enough, but with everything just falling to pieces anymore, it's scary...I was going to do commissions, just to take my mind off of things...ever since I started one, I have not been able to finish it. At all. Too many things have literally interfered and made it impossible to finish it, for this long. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, at this point...I just feel stressed, and I can't write when stressed, because it's not possible to concentrate...
Oh well...call it a vent journal if you want, or "drama," even though this is stuff that I literally can't do anything about...I'm not expecting a comment...I'm not even expecting anyone to read this...I don't care if anyone does, but I just need to post this, if only to get the previous journal off my page...I know, lately I've been depressing and borderline destructive..but...this is my life...and my life is literally ripping itself apart...in thousands of pieces...
My aunt has to have surgery on Tuesday. She has a large mass in her brain, and it could possibly be cancer. She already has skin cancer, so it's not that far out of the question. Even if they remove the mass, it's possible it could render her unable to properly do thing or say things. It's also possible this surgery could kill her, or make her have a stroke.
In addition, she was robbed a week ago, she got in a car wreck last week and her car isn't in working condition, and she's not been herself at all.
Combine this with her staying at my grandmother's (and has been anyway because she broke her shoulder months ago and is still recovering), and my grandmother is stressed because we're literally one check away from shutting down the business every single week, she's facing multiple possible lawsuits because she can barely make payroll, yet alone pay for the materials she has to use...and then my mom can barely get money from work, and she has a $700 house payment, $80 for groceries every week, $300 for utilities, and then who knows what else...and I can't make shit for money because the only reason why I was getting hours one week was because I was working on a site, but since we could be closing permanently, we abandoned it.
My life is hell...entirely...all of this, is completely outside of my control. There are two things within my control that I have to worry about:
phone bill
student loans
Student loans don't start until January, so I have a little time. My phone bill is due on the 26th, and I believe I'll have enough, but with everything just falling to pieces anymore, it's scary...I was going to do commissions, just to take my mind off of things...ever since I started one, I have not been able to finish it. At all. Too many things have literally interfered and made it impossible to finish it, for this long. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, at this point...I just feel stressed, and I can't write when stressed, because it's not possible to concentrate...
Oh well...call it a vent journal if you want, or "drama," even though this is stuff that I literally can't do anything about...I'm not expecting a comment...I'm not even expecting anyone to read this...I don't care if anyone does, but I just need to post this, if only to get the previous journal off my page...I know, lately I've been depressing and borderline destructive..but...this is my life...and my life is literally ripping itself apart...in thousands of pieces...
I'm very sorry for your aunt. Your aunt needs to be kept in prayer. Even if she is an undesirable character by way of past experience for you, having negativity befall upon her, let alone anyone, truly and verily requires the saving forearm to extend below the cliff edge. It is dangerous and upsetting that your aunt is going through this, and I wish her nothing but good. I pray that she is able to carry through. I also pray, Ashan, that you would be able to face these problems you have in real life and reach solution. Meditate, allow quiet to infiltrate so that you my assess the current time. If we think of life as a perpetual now as it may be somewhere better - if you can - you can probably be able to figure out that there are like people here that care about you.
Be in good health, Ashan. Don't hasten, and don't stagnate. I must bear this in mind for my own sake, as well. I hope things work out.
We're all here for you Master~!