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This Year Be Thankful For Me...Adrik Wolf!
13 years ago
General
Glad You Could Stop By! Please, Come on in and Soak Up The Greatness!
And if you can't find it in your cold, cold hearts to be thankful for me, the world's furriest self-proclaimed half-Jew, then at least find a way to be thankful for:
Pride of Carolina Yams
Yes, Pride of Carolina cut sweet potatoes in syrup are the only yams made with RENEWABLE ENERGY! And their all-natural ingredients are sure to hit the sweet spot for all with diets that are low in saturated fat and cholesterol.
MM MMM MMM. Pride of Carolina Yams. On sale now at your friendly neighbourhood grocer!
There, now that I got the obligatory product placement out of the way, (thanks to Bruce Foods Corporation out of New Iberia, Louisiana for the $2,595 cheque) I am proud to finally have a day to get back to my friends here on FA and see what've missed all summer long.
And yes, I know it's odd that I am able to get on here on Thanksgiving Day, but honestly it's the first day I've had free to do so. I didn't even take my usual week-long vacation this year. I did flights right up til last night.
"But Adrik," you might ask, "Why would you, a half-Jew who always wears a velvet pouch full of gold around his neck, have to work to the point of being unavailable since July?"
The answer is surprising simple! I have two huge events coming up in 2013!
The first is...this sweet piece of smoked Alaskan meat is getting married! That's right. In a (probably) drunken rant back in July I ended the night of celebrating the 4th by proposing to the love and light of my life, one Nicole Marie Feile, with all the usual attributes including a diamond engagement ring held by a stuffed penguin in one hand and a three-quarters empty bottle of Bailey's Irish Creme in the other. (I tend to have really weird Fourth of July parties) And although I didn't look serious in my khaki dungarees and black My Little Pony FIM shirt with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie clinking together wooden steins of cidar, (I debated against wearing a Regular Show tee with Mordecai and Rigby running around screaming OOOOOOOO!, but didn't think that was appropriate) my voice and eyes were serious and meaningful.
And to this Wolf's ultimate surprise...she said YES! (YEEEAAAHHH! Marriage on the Rocks! OOOOHHHHH!)
So we set a date for our Alaskan wedding in June of 2013, which means I gotta bust tail to make sure that this will be an event to remember. I only want to get married once, so I may as well live it up, yes? This also means that this sweet meat won't be able to man-whore himself out as much anymore. So, I'm afraid that with today's journal I'm going to have to limit myself to North America, Western Europe, and Australia as viable canididates for anyone out there needing me to stop in for a pleasure-filled romp in my garden of earthly delights.
Sorry Bolivia, I'm afraid South America will have to wait a few years until I can sow some more oats down there. Plus I'm still waiting for that papaya tree I was promised. Bastards.
And the second big event, with I guess came on the heels of the whole marriage proposal, is that I, Adrik R. Wolf, will have to leave the world of silly, zany, off-the wall, avant garde humour and wackiness behind so that I may mature and become an adult.
Because I am also going to be a father! (Insert another Regular Show catchphrase here)
Yes. Also during this summer, Nicole informed me of the news that she was pregnant. "How did that happen?" I asked, knowing full well how reproduction works but curious as to who had been involved.
"Take a guess," she replied.
Well my first thought was Quii-mar, the Indonesian sponser-child we've had chained in the garage since last year, when the whole sponser-child gag kinda fell flat. But I knew it could not have been him, given the chains and such. So it turned out that it was me!
I was responsible for this bringing of new life into the world! A new chapter in life. A realisation that it was time for me to grow up and put the games and childish whims behind me. So i picked up my My Little Pony figurines and my Matchbox cars and my Fisher-Price spinner-top and walked back to my den of dreams and realised what i had to do.
On top of remodelling the once proud den into a new bedroom for said arriving child (I heard it's going to be a girl! whoo-hoo!) I was going to have to bring myself up to the next level of life! It was time to stop creating stories about penguins who rape, missionaries on a quest to gather severed heads for the former frontman of Genesis, tales of magical spatulas and off-the-wall characters running amok in Great Britain, and of quests for magical socks and Raccoons who just want to come in and have a piece of turkey just once.
Yes, responsibility loomed ahead for me, as I looked at the walls covered with pictures of rescued Bunnies, vintage Vincent Price movie posters and that poster of Derpy Hooves hanging from a tree limb and saying 'Hang in There!' It was all time to be packed away and stored for future times when I would open up the lid of the dusty crates and say...Ahh, to be young and insane again.
And then Nicole appeared, wrapped her arms around me, and said..."You know we have a third bedroom right? That can be your new man-cave if you want it to be."
And that's when I realised...I DON'T have to mature! Nuts to being all proper and have great work ethic and be afraid to enjoy things! No need to fear! I promise to be as abstract and off the wall as I've always been! And for those of you that know me, some since 2007 believe it or not, you know that I can be wayyyy out in left field when I want to be.
So no worries! Just because this old soon-to-be-28 year old Wolf...(Really, 28? Damn. Maybe I should depart from the Far Side. (Gary Larson reference, look it up) is soon to be sporting both a wife and child, I'm still going to be the same wonky Alaskan that will come clean your bathtub and sleep with your mother (hopefully in the same day) that I've always been.
And so sorry for being away for the last few months. Remodelling and a hectic work schedule do that to you. I plan on bouncing on and off all day long, as well as all weekend, trying to get back in pace and catch up on the thousands of backloggings that I have. And the good news is I plan to be on throughout most of the winter now...something that I usually am unable to do after Christmas. But we'll see what happens.
So, that's just a quick update from me. It's freezing cold up here in Alaska (wouldn't want it any other way) and I did miss all my friends here on FA during my absence. But no worries. I am back, full of pep and vodka, and will be spreading my Adrik cheer all around for you to bathe in.
For those of you celebrating Thanksgiving, Have a wonderful day, with lots of Spam and spiral macaroni. For those not celebrating, Happy November 22nd. Be sure to remember that back in 498 AD, after the death of Anastasius II, Symmachus is elected Pope in the Lateran Palace, while Laurentius is elected Pope in Santa Maria Maggiore.
If that isn't a reason to celebrate today...I don't know what is.
And no matter what you're doing today...make sure to do it with a fresh can of Pride of Carolina yams.
Until next time,
~Adrik
Pride of Carolina Yams
Yes, Pride of Carolina cut sweet potatoes in syrup are the only yams made with RENEWABLE ENERGY! And their all-natural ingredients are sure to hit the sweet spot for all with diets that are low in saturated fat and cholesterol.
MM MMM MMM. Pride of Carolina Yams. On sale now at your friendly neighbourhood grocer!
There, now that I got the obligatory product placement out of the way, (thanks to Bruce Foods Corporation out of New Iberia, Louisiana for the $2,595 cheque) I am proud to finally have a day to get back to my friends here on FA and see what've missed all summer long.
And yes, I know it's odd that I am able to get on here on Thanksgiving Day, but honestly it's the first day I've had free to do so. I didn't even take my usual week-long vacation this year. I did flights right up til last night.
"But Adrik," you might ask, "Why would you, a half-Jew who always wears a velvet pouch full of gold around his neck, have to work to the point of being unavailable since July?"
The answer is surprising simple! I have two huge events coming up in 2013!
The first is...this sweet piece of smoked Alaskan meat is getting married! That's right. In a (probably) drunken rant back in July I ended the night of celebrating the 4th by proposing to the love and light of my life, one Nicole Marie Feile, with all the usual attributes including a diamond engagement ring held by a stuffed penguin in one hand and a three-quarters empty bottle of Bailey's Irish Creme in the other. (I tend to have really weird Fourth of July parties) And although I didn't look serious in my khaki dungarees and black My Little Pony FIM shirt with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie clinking together wooden steins of cidar, (I debated against wearing a Regular Show tee with Mordecai and Rigby running around screaming OOOOOOOO!, but didn't think that was appropriate) my voice and eyes were serious and meaningful.
And to this Wolf's ultimate surprise...she said YES! (YEEEAAAHHH! Marriage on the Rocks! OOOOHHHHH!)
So we set a date for our Alaskan wedding in June of 2013, which means I gotta bust tail to make sure that this will be an event to remember. I only want to get married once, so I may as well live it up, yes? This also means that this sweet meat won't be able to man-whore himself out as much anymore. So, I'm afraid that with today's journal I'm going to have to limit myself to North America, Western Europe, and Australia as viable canididates for anyone out there needing me to stop in for a pleasure-filled romp in my garden of earthly delights.
Sorry Bolivia, I'm afraid South America will have to wait a few years until I can sow some more oats down there. Plus I'm still waiting for that papaya tree I was promised. Bastards.
And the second big event, with I guess came on the heels of the whole marriage proposal, is that I, Adrik R. Wolf, will have to leave the world of silly, zany, off-the wall, avant garde humour and wackiness behind so that I may mature and become an adult.
Because I am also going to be a father! (Insert another Regular Show catchphrase here)
Yes. Also during this summer, Nicole informed me of the news that she was pregnant. "How did that happen?" I asked, knowing full well how reproduction works but curious as to who had been involved.
"Take a guess," she replied.
Well my first thought was Quii-mar, the Indonesian sponser-child we've had chained in the garage since last year, when the whole sponser-child gag kinda fell flat. But I knew it could not have been him, given the chains and such. So it turned out that it was me!
I was responsible for this bringing of new life into the world! A new chapter in life. A realisation that it was time for me to grow up and put the games and childish whims behind me. So i picked up my My Little Pony figurines and my Matchbox cars and my Fisher-Price spinner-top and walked back to my den of dreams and realised what i had to do.
On top of remodelling the once proud den into a new bedroom for said arriving child (I heard it's going to be a girl! whoo-hoo!) I was going to have to bring myself up to the next level of life! It was time to stop creating stories about penguins who rape, missionaries on a quest to gather severed heads for the former frontman of Genesis, tales of magical spatulas and off-the-wall characters running amok in Great Britain, and of quests for magical socks and Raccoons who just want to come in and have a piece of turkey just once.
Yes, responsibility loomed ahead for me, as I looked at the walls covered with pictures of rescued Bunnies, vintage Vincent Price movie posters and that poster of Derpy Hooves hanging from a tree limb and saying 'Hang in There!' It was all time to be packed away and stored for future times when I would open up the lid of the dusty crates and say...Ahh, to be young and insane again.
And then Nicole appeared, wrapped her arms around me, and said..."You know we have a third bedroom right? That can be your new man-cave if you want it to be."
And that's when I realised...I DON'T have to mature! Nuts to being all proper and have great work ethic and be afraid to enjoy things! No need to fear! I promise to be as abstract and off the wall as I've always been! And for those of you that know me, some since 2007 believe it or not, you know that I can be wayyyy out in left field when I want to be.
So no worries! Just because this old soon-to-be-28 year old Wolf...(Really, 28? Damn. Maybe I should depart from the Far Side. (Gary Larson reference, look it up) is soon to be sporting both a wife and child, I'm still going to be the same wonky Alaskan that will come clean your bathtub and sleep with your mother (hopefully in the same day) that I've always been.
And so sorry for being away for the last few months. Remodelling and a hectic work schedule do that to you. I plan on bouncing on and off all day long, as well as all weekend, trying to get back in pace and catch up on the thousands of backloggings that I have. And the good news is I plan to be on throughout most of the winter now...something that I usually am unable to do after Christmas. But we'll see what happens.
So, that's just a quick update from me. It's freezing cold up here in Alaska (wouldn't want it any other way) and I did miss all my friends here on FA during my absence. But no worries. I am back, full of pep and vodka, and will be spreading my Adrik cheer all around for you to bathe in.
For those of you celebrating Thanksgiving, Have a wonderful day, with lots of Spam and spiral macaroni. For those not celebrating, Happy November 22nd. Be sure to remember that back in 498 AD, after the death of Anastasius II, Symmachus is elected Pope in the Lateran Palace, while Laurentius is elected Pope in Santa Maria Maggiore.
If that isn't a reason to celebrate today...I don't know what is.
And no matter what you're doing today...make sure to do it with a fresh can of Pride of Carolina yams.
Until next time,
~Adrik
Been wondering where you've been. It's nice to know you're still alive. :3
To all future child support payments and divorce hearings!
Yeah, it's been a crazy summer. The weeks just flew by and before I knew it I was like...damn 2012 is almost over! But I got my ducks in order and now I get to spend more times with all of you...the ones I truely love!
Happy November 22nd Day! See you for the End of The World Party coming next month!
~Adrik
This ol' Wolf/Pony is growing up....
How will i explain to (Enter baby name here) about her father's raunchy, torrid, furry past...
She may disown me by age two!
*starts visiting every parent website in existence for tips*
~Adrik
V.
Yes I have been thinking about all the great things that fatherhood will bring...although i have been worried about the possibility of twins.
That is just too much Adrik DNA to be out roaming the earth.
I'll hope for one and take it from there. :D
And yes, I am very glad to be back. The summer literally flew by with everything going on. But no worries...I hope to make my presence known even more now! I have a legacy to create!
*EVIL CACKLE*
~Adrik
And Nicole has already warned me that I'm not allowed to corrupt or child (or children if it's twins) to be like me. She's says she couldn't handle another personality like mine running around. So we'll have to do our bonding on the downlow, watching smuggled MLP episodes in secrecy! LOL
And I hope I never grow up. I'm having way to much fun being me!
~Adrik
I say take this life by the horns, be as light-hearted and good-spirited as you can, and carry a big shotgun for the sourpusses who want to put you in a bad mood!
Now, if you'll escuse me, I'm due next on stage...stripping legs, don't fail me now!
~Adrik