Why hello.

I didn't see you come in. Please, take a seat. Don't be afraid of all this greatness.

Just a quick recap of the last week. It's been a great week. The hair; beautiful. It's looking good, really great hair, very healthy, very vibrant. My poll numbers; also great. FurAffinity has me polling at 38%, which is great for one fur to have with so many other furs in the field. Greatest numbers they have ever seen. They love me. You love me. Everybody loves me. Ghosts love me.

So being a great thinker, I decided that this week I should open up the forum to you, the furs who love me. I've been getting a lot of notes. Great notes. My inbox is the biggest inbox with the greatest notes ever. And it would be great of me to dig through those great notes and pick out the best questions that you, the commonsense furs who have the pressing questions of the day, have asked me. You want to know where I stand on the important issues and I will answer them with the greatness and integrity that only I, Adrik Wolf, can deliver.

Let's get started:

Charlotte C. of Corpus Christi writes: Dear Adrik, I think you're the greatest. My question is about education. I'm a Vixen in my twenties who feels that a college education will be unattainable for me because of the rising costs. My family immigrated here from Mexico and even though my parents work hard running a small grocery store, I just feel like we will never get ahead and any hope of me being able to afford my higher education is a fleeting dream. What can you, being as great as you are, do for struggling millennials like myself?

That's a great question, Charlotte. I am the greatest. I went to a great college. Got a great degree in biology. Do you want to know how I became a winner? By being so great. Let me share this anecdote about a struggling fur I met in Baton Rouge the other day. She was pretty much in your position; young, scared about the future, had loser parents who couldn't run a business. They were good furs, they really were, but they were narrow-minded and pathetic small-time losers who don't have an eighth of my business skills. The fact that they can't send their daughter to college is a clear example of their incompetence and total lack of qualifications for the job and that their “embarrassing rinky-dink operation is peanuts” compared to The Wolf Organisation, which makes amazingly great business deals everyday. I remember the parents talking directly to me, seeking my wisdom, and I said to myself: “These bozos has no idea what they are doing. In fact, they might be the worst small business owners in the entire state of Louisiana. I could run a small neighbourhood store that’s 1,000 times better than these lightweight’s. But they are so worried their kids may not be able to go to college, and it’s no surprise, given how stupid those little slobs sounded when I talked to them. I’m telling you, this family has no shot. No shot.” I had to call it like I saw it, reminding them that under my administration, I will buy out morons like this family and turn their businesses into the finest, top-of-the-line moneymakers.

Thanks for the question.

Next, we have a letter from a rancher from Nevada. William J. of Virginia City writes:

Dear Adrik Wolf: You're great. I'm so blessed to wake up everyday and know you are out there with that amazing hair and fighting to make sure that the world knows how great you are. My question is regarding the federal government and grazing rights on federal lands. I have a large ranch with over 3000 head of cattle and am afraid my family traditions will be trampled by an overreaching federal government. What would you do to ensure that generations of future ranchers are not held hostage by a tyrannical government who wishes to take away their private property rights?

Look. That's a great question. I love Nevada. I met some great showgirls in Las Vegas. They could do things with a set of jumper cables and a bowl of jelly beans that most could only dream of. I also love cattle. Cattle love me. Look, I have great cattle. I've been around cattle my entire life and let me tell you this. I have cattle that are at least 600 times bigger than yours. Your cows are small and scrawny, and you should be embarrassed to milk them. In fact, let me add that each of my cows, and I have thousands of them, are the size of “at least” a dozen Cadillacs and have “udders that’ll make your head spin.” No one raises cattle as gigantic or successful as I do; everyone knows that. My cattle are winners, and you people would be lucky to have them graze in Nevada. And while we are on the topic of farm freshness, let me remind you that the apple pie at Nevada Nancy's Roadside Diner in Sparks was a disgrace and that my pies are a mile wide, with a perfect crust that made all the losers jealous. Thanks for your question.

Now onto the topic of illegal immigration. Jose Nevurro from Salinas California writes:

Dear Adrik: Even though we admire your greatness, we got a message for you, Holmes. We ain't goin' back to Mexico, puto. What do you say about that?

Look. First of all, yes, yes you are. Second, it's pronounced 'Pluto' and I will be making it a planet again. It's going to happen. In fact, once it regains it's planetary status, it might be a better place to send all the Mexicans. You know what? I'm about to make space travel great again. I've got the best space ships. Have you seen my intergalactic cruisers? They're Yyyy...uuuuuuugggggeeeeee!

And finally, Maria Warren from New York City writes:

Dear Adrik: I'm very worried about the world situation today. With terrorism, the economy, global warming, uprisings in the Middle East, racism, police brutality, government overreach, falling oil prices, and a general feeling that we just aren't winning at anything anymore, is there anything your greatness can do to get us back on track?

That's a great question. Probably the greatest question I've ever let you ask me. Look, I have five key solutions on how to make the world great again. For all the problems you just listed, once I get into the position to handle them, I'm just going to take of them. It's just going to happen. I'll stand behind my podium and bang my paw on the edge and say "Look...these problems...I'm going to solve them." And take my word for it. I will take care of them.

How's that for greatness? You must feel so inspired after reading this. And you should feel inspired. I bring inspiration wherever I go. I bring the best inspiration. Like I said, everyone loves me.

Well, that's it for this town hall meeting. I hope you bathed in my greatness and not to worry...this golden dirigible of hope and greatness is going to be around for a long, long time. But for now I have to go spend the next six hours combing my hair.

Until next time!

~AdrikWolf '16