I just had another argument with Mom, because I didn't know if I was going to be able to give her money this payday, due to business being slow all of last week at work. I basically told her I hadn't had any good sleep since this new boss took over the store where my job is -- mostly because I've gone from working 8 hours a day/5 days a week to 3 to 4 hours a day, and there doesn't appear to be any sign of any hours given back.

I'm tired of living like this. Worried every night whether I'll get even my minimum scheduled hours, or if I go to the landlady and I won't have the rent. I won't make excuses or lay the blame game on someone else. I'm in this mess. I just can't see an easy way out, as most of the services that should be there to help a disabled person like me are not accessible or even nearby if the actually are.

And let me say this firmly: this is NOT a plea for money or pity or anything. I am thankful that people were able to help me out last year when it was clear I wasn't able to pay rent that one time. Yet I do not want to come off as a mooch or a beggar. If there's some way I can fix this, I'll do it. I'll find a way and get by.