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Dreams & Frustrations
12 years ago
So I have been thinking for awhile, about something a friend of mine said at detour when I bumped into him and he asked how I was and such, the part that got me was when he asked about my dreams and I replied how I wanted to have my own Online MMORPG (my current plan would be a browser based), however my situation currently is such that its probably never going to happen. His reply was that you need to persue your dreams because you only live once, I try and make the most of my life as it, but this really got to me however and ive been rather depressed since.
The frustration lies in that in order to persue my dreams I need money, however in my situation as it stands I cant do anything, I have a house but my parents help me, ive dabbled in things to earn more, however I am controlled and not allowed to spend any of it, my dead says "Until you can completely pay for everything in your life, that money you earn is ours", now I understand the reasoning, they help with my bills and such, and I pay them pretty much whatever I have in the bank every month however at my current level if I wanted to ever be "fully independant" I would need to be making 1350 per month to maintain the house, plus food, plus gas, plus insurances for the car and the home.
Now add to that about me not being allowed to have a roommate for this house so I cant have someone else living there and helping pay for the costs (this is cuz, you guessed it, my parents wont allow me to have a roommate, even if its someone I know, I know this since I have tried to get one, and even asked if my BOYFRIEND of now 1 year could live with me and was told "It will be a cold day in hell before <his RL name> lives with you there" They act supportive about him but I know its a joke and a lie they tell to my face whenever I ask them about how they feel about us.
Its frustrating that, im stuck unable to do anything,
I just wish... my parents could just die already, they are old enough and lived a good life, I know I probably sound like a horrible son for saying it, but even when they visit they are unpleasant and I've scheduled my work in such a way to even go as far to make SURE its hard for them to visit me when I am home and around.
The frustration lies in that in order to persue my dreams I need money, however in my situation as it stands I cant do anything, I have a house but my parents help me, ive dabbled in things to earn more, however I am controlled and not allowed to spend any of it, my dead says "Until you can completely pay for everything in your life, that money you earn is ours", now I understand the reasoning, they help with my bills and such, and I pay them pretty much whatever I have in the bank every month however at my current level if I wanted to ever be "fully independant" I would need to be making 1350 per month to maintain the house, plus food, plus gas, plus insurances for the car and the home.
Now add to that about me not being allowed to have a roommate for this house so I cant have someone else living there and helping pay for the costs (this is cuz, you guessed it, my parents wont allow me to have a roommate, even if its someone I know, I know this since I have tried to get one, and even asked if my BOYFRIEND of now 1 year could live with me and was told "It will be a cold day in hell before <his RL name> lives with you there" They act supportive about him but I know its a joke and a lie they tell to my face whenever I ask them about how they feel about us.
Its frustrating that, im stuck unable to do anything,
I just wish... my parents could just die already, they are old enough and lived a good life, I know I probably sound like a horrible son for saying it, but even when they visit they are unpleasant and I've scheduled my work in such a way to even go as far to make SURE its hard for them to visit me when I am home and around.
If you want any sort of dream to happen, you need the right people who will be there for you to work on helping you get there. I'm sure you have friends out there that would love to make it a reality, you just have to talk to them and work along side them no matter how much time goes into it. Much like any journey, it'll take time, and the road may be difficult. However, you must always remember 2 things that I have been told. One, never forget what your dream is and why you are pursuing it. And two, a quote from my father that I've lived with to this day. "Good, better, best. Never let it rest, till your good is better and your better is the best."
Hang there. You're going to make it, I know.