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Life Crisis (Longish post, Talking about Depression/Suicide)
9 years ago
Note before you read: I talk about a crisis happening in my life, this post includes talk about my struggle the last few weeks with Depression, Suicide, and more, if this makes you uncomfortable then please... turn away now to another post)
So this really all started around 3 weeks back.. I had a burnout about my job and ended up missing a day of work because of it, I thought after 3 days off in a row and feeling better that it was over.. 2 weeks later it ended up becoming a full blown life crisis that has made me question a lot of things, including the reasons to continue to live, my job, my life, etc)
The crisis started 1 week ago on Friday when it became too much for me to even go to work, that week had been just about hell on earth for me.. including several days where I cried before work and days were I was downright close to killing myself.. even at work where I couldn't help but think about things at work I could use to kill myself. Other things like getting a bill for $1200 for a medical bill which I'm going to be hard pressed to pay did not help either.
The causes of this was a buildup of stress in both work and life..but I think work contributed Heavily to it. Wal-Mart is notorious for under staffing and it was getting bad the last few months at my store.. to the point were I had to man the Electronics Dept. or even most of the GM (Gen. Merchandise) side alone or with only 1 or 2 people (in the GM side and me being alone in Electronics) during the very busy evening.. 1 Night it was just me, an associate from Fabrics and Crafts, and the Support Manager on the GM side from 5 PM to 10 PM after which it was just me and the Support Manager from 10 pm to 11 PM Store close. In the case of that evening neither myself nor the Support Manager had any breaks what so ever for over 4 hours in a row and both took our respective 2 x 15 minute breaks during the last 2 hours of our shifts.
I have spoken with this support manager and pretty much he just said you need to tough through things like this, I disagree and we both know how understaffed we are.
Last Friday it reached a point that I couldn't bring myself to go to work.. I called off and decided to take a Leave of Absence from work on Medical Reasons (for my depression and suicidal thoughts), i have made appointments with my Doctor and others for this so please don't be too worried about that, I've had good days and some bad days since but I'm taking it 1 step at a time.
But this whole situation has caused what I believe to be a Life Crisis. I want to get Promoted or to a position that pays at least well enough for me to have an O.K. life were I'm not constantly worrying about bills and money to pay rent and other expenses,
I have thought about many things as a result of this including starting a Small Business or finding something better.
Please if you have any advice or comments for me please leave them below.
So this really all started around 3 weeks back.. I had a burnout about my job and ended up missing a day of work because of it, I thought after 3 days off in a row and feeling better that it was over.. 2 weeks later it ended up becoming a full blown life crisis that has made me question a lot of things, including the reasons to continue to live, my job, my life, etc)
The crisis started 1 week ago on Friday when it became too much for me to even go to work, that week had been just about hell on earth for me.. including several days where I cried before work and days were I was downright close to killing myself.. even at work where I couldn't help but think about things at work I could use to kill myself. Other things like getting a bill for $1200 for a medical bill which I'm going to be hard pressed to pay did not help either.
The causes of this was a buildup of stress in both work and life..but I think work contributed Heavily to it. Wal-Mart is notorious for under staffing and it was getting bad the last few months at my store.. to the point were I had to man the Electronics Dept. or even most of the GM (Gen. Merchandise) side alone or with only 1 or 2 people (in the GM side and me being alone in Electronics) during the very busy evening.. 1 Night it was just me, an associate from Fabrics and Crafts, and the Support Manager on the GM side from 5 PM to 10 PM after which it was just me and the Support Manager from 10 pm to 11 PM Store close. In the case of that evening neither myself nor the Support Manager had any breaks what so ever for over 4 hours in a row and both took our respective 2 x 15 minute breaks during the last 2 hours of our shifts.
I have spoken with this support manager and pretty much he just said you need to tough through things like this, I disagree and we both know how understaffed we are.
Last Friday it reached a point that I couldn't bring myself to go to work.. I called off and decided to take a Leave of Absence from work on Medical Reasons (for my depression and suicidal thoughts), i have made appointments with my Doctor and others for this so please don't be too worried about that, I've had good days and some bad days since but I'm taking it 1 step at a time.
But this whole situation has caused what I believe to be a Life Crisis. I want to get Promoted or to a position that pays at least well enough for me to have an O.K. life were I'm not constantly worrying about bills and money to pay rent and other expenses,
I have thought about many things as a result of this including starting a Small Business or finding something better.
Please if you have any advice or comments for me please leave them below.
Keep in mind that there's many out there that care about you and we'd be willing to help you.
