Hear, hear!

You, yes, you, are awesome.

Been struggling with THAT THING for over two decades...

It's been a lifelong struggle with me as well. I believe in the power of practice. You can't forever silence that voice (and I don't know that one should, given how it's connected with one's ability to analyze one's own work), but you can rein it in.

I had that too for awhile. It made it hard to progress as an artist.

It's a feeling that's all too common among artists of all stripes.

Oh damn, trying to overcome this myself and take steps to gain knowledge and little successes each day. The worst thing I could do is stop because I've lied to myself too well D:
Thanks for posting this! It's a good friendly reminder!

My pleasure, mister. You're awesome. Believe it. You're one of my absolute favorite artists on FA.

When I went to college I was in the honor's program, and they handed us all a pamphlet about that. Apparently it's actually most common among very smart people. I often felt this way, of course... and it was once explained to me that since it takes so little effort for a very smart person to achieve the same success as a less smart person (so many unquantifiable things there, and presumptions on what 'success' means...) one gets the feeling that they're just cheating the system somehow. Which, yeah, is exactly how I feel.

I've got very similar feelings. Having that mindset makes it hard to determine when you're actually doing well.

My ex once told me "Fake it 'till you make it". Took me a long time to understand what she meant.

Thanks for this.

My pleasure, sir.

What if there is no evidence to support the belief?

Wiki (and I, as I had the same question you did) wants to know this too.: "It is not an officially recognized psychological disorder, and is not among the conditions described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, but it has been the subject of numerous books and articles by psychologists and educators."

Then goes on to add: "The impostor syndrome, in which competent people find it impossible to believe in their own competence, can be viewed as complementary to the Dunning–Kruger effect, in which incompetent people find it impossible to believe in their own incompetence."

I challenge the notion that you, Scarp, have no reason by evidence to believe in yourself.

Crow_Winters paraphrase of Wiki nails it. That negative voice inside is persuasive. For many of us, it's been refined over decades to exclude from our vision anything that might contradict the message that we suck. You get good at anything you practice, including tearing yourself down.

I grew up with an older brother who gave me support in the breech, most of the time. The rest of the time he was a holy terror. I got told I was stupid, that I didn't know anything, that my art was shit because I liked drawing animals, or animal-people, that I was a freak. I successfully internalized those messages. When added to a pretty decent reasoning brain, I developed that weirdest of convolutions, the belief that I'm a fake using a flawed filter to view the evidence, having convinced myself that my vision wasn't flawed.

Nobody's perfect. If that's true, then its opposite must be true, as well: nobody's completely worthless. (Even the people I can't stand.) And if it's not possible that you're completely worthless....maybe it's time to re-assess your filters. Maybe it's time for some corrective lenses, so to speak.

For the record, I wasn't taking sides, and I'm definitely not taking the side of the impostor syndrome existing. Consistent failures should not be excused by a 'syndrome'. Your example is someone belittling you, which is awful and of course it's going to do bad things to your psyche, but that's also quite different from, well, incompetence.

I didn't feel you were taking sides. Nor was I intending to conflate belittling with incompetence--instead I managed to botch the message.

My intended point was that past experiences that make for a clouded psyche can result in a clouded lens through which you view yourself. It can be hard to recognize your own competence, and too easy to confuse a mistake with incompetence. That's been my own experience.

There was this moment when I saw the crappy teenage work of one of the master artists I was working with at Spümcø. It was like a light came on in my head: his teenage art was just as shitty as my teenage art. And it was older than I was. Of course he could draw rings around me. He'd been practicing for longer than I was alive.

Ever since then, I never look at other people's work and say "I could never be that good". I know damn well I could be that good at whatever thing they're good at; I just have to decide to grind on it for five years or so. Do I want to? Or am I happy with the path I'm already on?

It's pretty nice. Especially because I haven't swung over to the other extreme, where I'm convinced my work is the best thing ever and I don't need to improve it in any way.

Here, here, Peggy! That there's a healthy attitude.

I know artists, well-known and respected artists, who've purged all their early work (as in setting it on fire). I've heard their reasoning and I respect their right to handle their work as they choose. It's not something that I would do. I want that reminder that I started just like everyone else, right at the bottom. It helps me keep my head.

Progress happens in the middle space between "I totally suck" and "I'm a GOD!". Swing too much in either direction and it'll fuck you. But withhold from seeing the value in your own work? Bullshit. There's a benefit to having a little bit of bravado in you, a part of your creative spirit that checks out the names in the Credits of a film for the concept artists and nods approval when you think "I want to be up there some day." You won't reach for anything if you've convinced yourself that all the fruit is out reach.

I threw away a bunch of old sketchbooks (from the ages of like 8-18) when I moved from Boston the Seattle, but it was a matter of "I don't want to haul this huge box of old crap that will just sit in in a closet" combined with "well I already lost my artistic record from 20-30 in Katrina". I kept like maybe four of 'em as a representative sample, I don't need ten books full of little spaceships shooting each other.

I'm kind of through a lot of that particular kind of maturation, I guess. My peers include winners of Emmys, Annies, Eisners and Hugos. I've had my name up on the big screen once, and probably would have had it up there more if I'd stuck it out in the animation scene. Turns out I didn't want animation (those grapes were pretty sour for me for a lot of reasons), but it's pretty damn nice to have realized that particular childhood dream for a while and know on a fundamental level that I Am Good Enough.

wait did that last paragraph sound like bragging i dunno i can't tell, I've been lucky enough to work with some amazing people over the years is all.

Going backwards: That last paragraph didn't sound like bragging. ;)

At some point the message that you're viewed as an equal gets through. Then the question becomes, do you accept it? Like you, I've got a circle of people in my life who've got no reason to sell me a story, and they consider me a peer. I can either disrespect them by denying I'm worthy of their support, or I can run with it. I choose to run with it.

Hey, tossing old stuff because of space restrictions or such, that I totally understand. I've done that myself. When the purges are rooted in what sounds like shame--God, I don't want people to know my drawings used to suck!!--that confuses me.

I want people to know I used to suck. That "wow, Jim used to suck" realization was one of the most powerful moments in my development as an artist.

Agreed. I found encouragement in the same way.

when i accomplish something i feel disconnected from it almost immediately - its like something im just watching rather than doing - so even if its good i dont feel like its my doing - i can view it and enjoy it but theres very little of 'I did that' going on - im just floating out here by myself disconnected from it

I'm of two minds on that score. On the one hand, I understand your feeling disconnected; I have a version of that myself, perfectionism, that fucks with me almost daily. Some of that feeling comes from working in the commercial world for a long time, I think; if the client's happy and I get my money, fine, the job's done. Walk away and start another piece.

On the other hand, if the feeling of disassociation is pervasive, I wonder what it's blinding me from seeing. The last time I felt that empty it was because I was avoiding some heavy shit going on inside. My feelings (and my art) began changing once I turned to face the stuff I was running from.

I am a fake, I do nothing but copy ECMajor, CrookedTrees, PurpleKecleon, and Lauren Faust and Gami.