sorry to hear that, but somehow one needs to accept and move on.

got any plans yet?

Well, as of now, I am doing same thing I did last year.... Albeit three months earlier this time. I’ll see if that would help or not. I’ll have to scrap all if it becomes obvious that things will go same way, so I'd better plan something now.

I didn't realize it was going quite so negatively. I hope you're able to take away at least something positive from it all.

I hope so as well. Thanks.

you got some pretty photos there, and maybe some ideas that showed in some of your work.
possibly the time might have been more gratifying someplace you wished more to be, but no time is ever completely wasted, even if we can't always see what we gained from it, when we are still too close in time to it.

Yes, I think I gained many things here, that is true.... but they were not what I expected.
And I think that my wasted time is less of a problem compared to the fact that there was a job that I should have done, yet there was no progress made.

a wise man once said "life is what happens, when you're doing something else".

we live in a universe who's nature is diversity. it is not always cooperative with intentions or planning.

another wise man once advised against desires. though i believe its more expectations that can be blamed for disappointments.

True. good words.
Kind of reminds me of the concept of dukkha in Buddhism.

I suppose so. To think of it, I guess no progress was made because my goals were very vague, or perhaps, nonexistent. Thank you for your words.

you may find down the line that, although you didn't get what you'd expected or hoped for, you got more from your experience than you were aware of.

On that, time will tell, I guess. Thanks for your comment.

You will remember this experience the rest of your life and that's not wasted experience.

I concur! Your experiences are invaluable and could not have been gotten any other way!

Thinking of it now, as long as I learn something from it, I guess it’s not. Thanks.

How'd you wind up there, anyway?

Well, I am here for my alternative civilian service.

Then I don't think it's that bad because there are a lot of really horrible things you could be stuck doing, and this is giving you perspective that most people don't have - I don't know what it would be like there, living there for instance.

Well, I am not complaining about my life here. Actually, life here is wonderful. I always had fascination for islamic cultures(in somewhat orientalistic manner, ironically), and the experience of actually living in one was interesting indeed. The problem is, my job here is more of a duty than a simple job, and I am feeling guilty about being derelict of that, especially when other people are stuck doing horrible things(that month long mandatory millitary training was something I would never like to experience again). I suppose all I can do now is trying hard to obtain some results in remaining year.

Cheer up, darling- it may never happen. At least people have learned to expect nothing from you. To this day people still expect me to be a better person than I am. I've long ago accepted that I am a useless human being. Yet for some reason the voters keep holding out hope. Damn democracies.

I guess the Moroccan institute learned that already.... But volunteerer's office still hasn't noticed my incompetance, and my poor deluded family will never accept the truth that I am a useless waste, a surplus, a prarasite that's good for nothing; they will simply get angry and shout at me if I try to tell them the fact.
It is their expectations that make me struggle to achieve something that I am incapable of.... Perhaps it would be beneficial to all if I just get hit by a truck or run over by a donkey cart.

Wait. No, not for all, since if I die then volunteerer's office would be thrown into an administrative hell.