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Fogged In At Barrow and On The Prowl For KISS Spoons
12 years ago
Glad You Could Stop By! Please, Come on in and Soak Up The Greatness!
I feel like I'm in a horror movie. Which is fitting as Halloween, my favourite holiday of the year after Flag Day, is creeping up on us like a mutie scorpion skittering across the snowpack in search of unsuspecting ankles!
*Cringes*
A friend I know down Arizona was actually telling me the story of how she took a scorpion sting to her foot while walking down her hallway a couple of weeks ago. In the dark. In her own home. Scorpion attack. Just to listen to her tell me that had me checking every corner of the house for the last couple of weeks. Any little sound I heard had my neurosis at red alert. Damn nimble, claw-and-stinger pain in the ass bastards.
And yes I know its too cold up here to allow even the hardiest scorpion to live (thank goodness) but there's always that chance. Nuclear radiation can be very unpredictable. Just look at my cousin Leroy. I don't think they'll ever get all the Hasidic Jewiness out of him. And he was born in Texas. Figure that one out.
The important thing is I hate scorpions and that is why you will never catch me living anywhere below the 62nd degree North parallel. It's just too risky.
Anyways, Got into Barrow this morning and was greeted by never-ending fog! So much fog, which is probably hiding ghost pirates and unimaginable horrors from another dimension in its silky grey embrace, that I am currently grounded and may be spending an overnight session in my old stomping grounds!
It's not so bad. I met up with some old acquaintances, got to see how little Barrow has changed (I think the one frozen whaling trawler along the coastline may have shifted slightly to the right), and generally just talk and catch up on the times since I moved away from the top of the world.
On the plus side, I did manage to score a spoon from Arctic Pizza, even having the owners go as far to include a genuine certificate of authenticity scribbled on a napkin. Another spoon to the collection will surely drive Justin crazy.
(He denies being the Keeper Of The Spoons and is freaking out because he's gotten about a hundred or so spoons since last month!)
If I end up staying at the King Elider Inn I'll have to see if they are willing to donate a spoon to the cause. *ponders*
Actually, scratch that. I just checked their kitchenette rooms and dining utensils are provided. So somebody will be making out like a bandit today!
I wish I was the Spoonman...
On another note, speaking of spoons, I was home last week, hanging out in the den doing paperwork and filing receipts and the such. Genesis' 'Three Sides Live' album was spinning on the turntable and things were just the grape groovy. Then Nicole brought in a crying Savannah Maria, who she couldn't get to settle down and handed her to me.
"She wants you," Nicole told me and I nodded, setting my stack of papers aside.
"I can see why. I am just so irresistible in my charms, love of fine wine, and acquired taste of early 1980's prog-rock albums." As soon as she was in my arms my daughter of course stopped having a fit. She knows that I don't collect spoons. "See, nothing to it!" I commented.
"Uh huh." Nicole answered. "What are you doing?"
"Getting things organised for the upcoming tax season. And looking online for Halloween costumes for the twins."
"You're not taking them out trick-or-treating. They are too young. It was bad enough you left those fake severed heads in their bassinets."
"That was just a Halloween-warming present! Just to let them know that they entered a world where its okay to sleep with severed heads! In fact I slept with the CryptKeeper from Tales From The Crypt for years and I turned out normal."
Her raised eyebrow told me that she was holding her words on that one. Which I've learned is usually a good thing.
"Besides," I continued. "Look what I found online! Twin KISS costumes! For infants!"
"My children are not dressing up like KISS for Halloween."
"Look at those awesome costumes! Phillip Connor can be Gene Simmons and Savannah Maria can be Starchild! Look at that hair!"
"No."
"Look at The Demon! It even has a Tongue pacifier! Matching Tongue Pacifiers! And you can do their makeup...I know you like doing their make-up. I haven't touched any kind of make-up since that incident at the Des Moines Drag Queen contest of '08..."
"No."
"...that should have been my crown! I had the sexiest pair of glitter stockings in the Midwest. And my garter belt was fresh from Frederick's of Hollywood..."
"No."
"If we don't get them started in the KISS army now, Nicole, who knows what Gene Simmons will do to us! He'll send his demons out to wreck havoc on our peaceful life! We need these costumes! We need to be out there trick-or-treating!"
"You don't even eat candy! Why would you go do something that ends up with you having a whole plastic pumpkin filled with candy you won't eat? And yes I know you've been itching to try your new pumpkin out. I saw it on the dresser the other day!"
"I'll eat Skittles..."
"They are too young."
"You're never too young for Skittles! Or Popcorn Balls!"
"No KISS costumes."
"What if I look for KISS spoons instead? Would that make you happy?"
"You can torture your friend all you want. But leave my babies out of it. No trick-or-treating this year. Maybe next."
"I wonder if they make a spoon costume. A giant spoon and two KISS army infants...."
AT that point Nicole just shook her head and walked out, meaning that I had won the argument with my intelligent point of view and well-researched comments. SO of course I ordered the KISS costumes. I want my children shouting it out loud as they cruise the streets looking for Doctor Love.
Savannah Maria smiled as I purchased the Starchild Wig. She knows who the fun parent is!
Then to celebrate I replaced Genesis with 'Lick It Up' and got called an idiot by my fiancé. Just another fun night in the Wolf household.
But I'm still searching for those elusive KISS Spoons! If anyone knows where to find a couple, let me know!
So yeah, that's what's been happening around here. I'll spend some time posting some photography and making some comments while I continue to wait out the fog. And if I have to spend the night in Barrow, I'll survive. I can just put on my KISS Spaceman wig and turn the iPod up as loud as it will go.
All hail King Simmons!
~runs off to find his KISS makeup bag~
Until next time!
Remember to take care of yourselves and God gave rock and roll to you.
~Adrik
*Cringes*
A friend I know down Arizona was actually telling me the story of how she took a scorpion sting to her foot while walking down her hallway a couple of weeks ago. In the dark. In her own home. Scorpion attack. Just to listen to her tell me that had me checking every corner of the house for the last couple of weeks. Any little sound I heard had my neurosis at red alert. Damn nimble, claw-and-stinger pain in the ass bastards.
And yes I know its too cold up here to allow even the hardiest scorpion to live (thank goodness) but there's always that chance. Nuclear radiation can be very unpredictable. Just look at my cousin Leroy. I don't think they'll ever get all the Hasidic Jewiness out of him. And he was born in Texas. Figure that one out.
The important thing is I hate scorpions and that is why you will never catch me living anywhere below the 62nd degree North parallel. It's just too risky.
Anyways, Got into Barrow this morning and was greeted by never-ending fog! So much fog, which is probably hiding ghost pirates and unimaginable horrors from another dimension in its silky grey embrace, that I am currently grounded and may be spending an overnight session in my old stomping grounds!
It's not so bad. I met up with some old acquaintances, got to see how little Barrow has changed (I think the one frozen whaling trawler along the coastline may have shifted slightly to the right), and generally just talk and catch up on the times since I moved away from the top of the world.
On the plus side, I did manage to score a spoon from Arctic Pizza, even having the owners go as far to include a genuine certificate of authenticity scribbled on a napkin. Another spoon to the collection will surely drive Justin crazy.
(He denies being the Keeper Of The Spoons and is freaking out because he's gotten about a hundred or so spoons since last month!)
If I end up staying at the King Elider Inn I'll have to see if they are willing to donate a spoon to the cause. *ponders*
Actually, scratch that. I just checked their kitchenette rooms and dining utensils are provided. So somebody will be making out like a bandit today!
I wish I was the Spoonman...
On another note, speaking of spoons, I was home last week, hanging out in the den doing paperwork and filing receipts and the such. Genesis' 'Three Sides Live' album was spinning on the turntable and things were just the grape groovy. Then Nicole brought in a crying Savannah Maria, who she couldn't get to settle down and handed her to me.
"She wants you," Nicole told me and I nodded, setting my stack of papers aside.
"I can see why. I am just so irresistible in my charms, love of fine wine, and acquired taste of early 1980's prog-rock albums." As soon as she was in my arms my daughter of course stopped having a fit. She knows that I don't collect spoons. "See, nothing to it!" I commented.
"Uh huh." Nicole answered. "What are you doing?"
"Getting things organised for the upcoming tax season. And looking online for Halloween costumes for the twins."
"You're not taking them out trick-or-treating. They are too young. It was bad enough you left those fake severed heads in their bassinets."
"That was just a Halloween-warming present! Just to let them know that they entered a world where its okay to sleep with severed heads! In fact I slept with the CryptKeeper from Tales From The Crypt for years and I turned out normal."
Her raised eyebrow told me that she was holding her words on that one. Which I've learned is usually a good thing.
"Besides," I continued. "Look what I found online! Twin KISS costumes! For infants!"
"My children are not dressing up like KISS for Halloween."
"Look at those awesome costumes! Phillip Connor can be Gene Simmons and Savannah Maria can be Starchild! Look at that hair!"
"No."
"Look at The Demon! It even has a Tongue pacifier! Matching Tongue Pacifiers! And you can do their makeup...I know you like doing their make-up. I haven't touched any kind of make-up since that incident at the Des Moines Drag Queen contest of '08..."
"No."
"...that should have been my crown! I had the sexiest pair of glitter stockings in the Midwest. And my garter belt was fresh from Frederick's of Hollywood..."
"No."
"If we don't get them started in the KISS army now, Nicole, who knows what Gene Simmons will do to us! He'll send his demons out to wreck havoc on our peaceful life! We need these costumes! We need to be out there trick-or-treating!"
"You don't even eat candy! Why would you go do something that ends up with you having a whole plastic pumpkin filled with candy you won't eat? And yes I know you've been itching to try your new pumpkin out. I saw it on the dresser the other day!"
"I'll eat Skittles..."
"They are too young."
"You're never too young for Skittles! Or Popcorn Balls!"
"No KISS costumes."
"What if I look for KISS spoons instead? Would that make you happy?"
"You can torture your friend all you want. But leave my babies out of it. No trick-or-treating this year. Maybe next."
"I wonder if they make a spoon costume. A giant spoon and two KISS army infants...."
AT that point Nicole just shook her head and walked out, meaning that I had won the argument with my intelligent point of view and well-researched comments. SO of course I ordered the KISS costumes. I want my children shouting it out loud as they cruise the streets looking for Doctor Love.
Savannah Maria smiled as I purchased the Starchild Wig. She knows who the fun parent is!
Then to celebrate I replaced Genesis with 'Lick It Up' and got called an idiot by my fiancé. Just another fun night in the Wolf household.
But I'm still searching for those elusive KISS Spoons! If anyone knows where to find a couple, let me know!
So yeah, that's what's been happening around here. I'll spend some time posting some photography and making some comments while I continue to wait out the fog. And if I have to spend the night in Barrow, I'll survive. I can just put on my KISS Spaceman wig and turn the iPod up as loud as it will go.
All hail King Simmons!
~runs off to find his KISS makeup bag~
Until next time!
Remember to take care of yourselves and God gave rock and roll to you.
~Adrik
Are you saying NO to the KISS costumes as well?
~Adrik
well it looks like I'm going to lose this round!
And we can play November Rain the entire night! And if someone doesn't pony up the candy...then we just blast them with every song off Use Your Illusion I. Then Phillip can hold out his hat and Savannah will cover their eyes while they make with the loot!
I know Nicole will absolutely LOVE this idea! Especially if I tell her it was yours! (She'll go along with your idea over mine! She likes you more :P lol)
~Adrik
no worries. I'm sure in his lifetime there will be plenty of wigs and candy falling from hats...
I want my son to have the same childhood I had...*remembers his many Halloweens fondly*
~Adrik
NO.
CANDY.
):<
I'm all for going into cemeteries, especially after dark...but no candy hook up? I mean you deserve a little reward for braving the sodden burial grounds!
Speaking of Portugal, I was watching The Amazing Race last night and they were racing in Portugal! Lisbon to be exact! The racers ended at Castelo Dos Mouros and I was looking at all the history and scenery and architecture in pure amazement.
Nicole asked me when we were going to go over to Europe and I told her as soon as I learned all the languages. lol
But I was just watching that in amazement. I have no clue if you are near Lisbon or not, but if the entire country is like that, then I will just have to rent a Volkswagen and do the drive! LOL
And I'll bring enough Sour Skittles to share
~Adrik
No i don't live in Lisbon but it's not much more than a 2 hours drive... and i'm all in for road trips. If you liked that, try googling my two home towns (i grew up in a small village between the two) Aveiro and Coimbra.
And Alaska has been for years that one place i really wanna go someday... blame Jack London for that x)
And if you get bored, give Glennallen and Barrow a Google! What we lack in people and historic architecture we make up for in amazing wildlife and beautiful scenery!
And I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone who comes up to visit: Be prepared to be amazed. Of all the places I've been, this is both the harshest and the warmest place to be. Just decide if you want to come up when the sun never sets or when it never rises :P That will really mess up your mind :XD
We can probably do the tour in the VW van...but a plane would be faster and more scenic. So hopefully you aren't afraid of being airborne over jagged mountains and deep glaciers!
If you'll be our tour guide when we come over, we'll gladly swing by and tell you to grab some of that cider and Sour Skittles! Then we will set forth for adventure in whatever Volkswagen the rental car counter has available! LOL
~Adrik
I haven't forgotten the edit either - it's partially done and on my desk top.
V.
Now I will have to invest in a hyperbolic chamber to sleep in!
Why do I feel like my life is becoming like the guy in the last segment of 'Creepshow'? Am I going to live in a germ-free environment just to wind up having a bunch of scorpions burst out of my body?
Actually I bet I would make the television news channels that way....hmmm
~Adrik
That helps me in no way whatsoever! Lol
I think it's the idea of one crawling around on me that frightens me more than the sting itself. I can taking get stung with no problem. But the idea of the creeping and claws and the overall grotesque appearance would be too much for me...
*shudders and inspects his bed again*
~Adrik