im about to give up entirely! nothing is going my way. i dont care if i get a bf, friends, or even a god damn life anymore. ll i see are the same rooms, and same bull shit every day. work lay out, then home. then walmart, then home. gas station, and thrift stores. nothing more beyond that. i want to escape this bull shit! drawing doesnt help, reading, movies, nothing! im desperately on this god damn computer trying to find a reason to stay on and find something. trying to find an outlet but i got none! i can go to fwa, im loosing friends, and the people who DO want to hang out im to embarrassed to even try bc of where i live no car nd i have no time. im trapped. like a animal in a bear trap and im seriously tempted to chew my god damn leg off to escape. again i say ths my life is going no where and its eating t e every day. i want to grow but im stunted. i dont want to be 40 yers old nd strt ver from there!! damn it... i dont... fuck... but thts how my life is looking. i dont wnt to waste my life... for nothing. if i have to loose limb ill gladly do it if i dont loose what i want to achieve. i want to cry so badly... i miss everyone. mont, karma, ryu, shane, grant, beka, regggie, dan, robert, james, shawna, shannon, trey, sebastin, the people i let close to me. i miss the most. ll but three i talk to. the others i had let go. i will miss them all... i truly will. i never wanted to live this way. the hell i suffered in my life, but... but...