once again you disappear on me. you make me feel special and loved and then you just drop off and i can't get to you. you kept me from drowning and you kept me from hurting, but now you're gone...again. I don't know if i can do this without you. I don't know if i can be the person everyone wants me to be. I'm not right and yet when we talk it's like i'm nothing less then perfect. Then you disappear and i'm left wondering if i did something to upset you. If i said something that made me not so perfect in your eyes anymore. I've hurt people i care about in more ways then one. Sometimes i wish i would have had the strength to do it back when i was younger, before things got to this point. Its been 11 years now and i still can't bring myself to do what i so desperately want to do. 11 years of hoping things would get better and i would somehow get over the things in my life. But i'm not strong, i can't do it on my own.