I never do journals but there was a bit too much to say this time around to fit into one solid tweet.

First off there's been a few things I've wanted to address in my life and about where my presence really lies in this tiny community. When I started out in this a little over a year ago my goal was to meet new people and make a life change that set me out on a path for the better. My life was stagnant and in need of dire change. I was an alcoholic at 21 with a dead end job and a college drop-out. The furry community was a massive change for me - and coming in as a babyfur, something I've been for all my life, was nothing short of life altering. I started following my desires and exploring aspects of myself that I once felt off limits. I began wearing diapers to bed at night in hopes of achieving bedwetting and incorporating more childish decor and behavior into my everyday life.

Despite these changes for the better it's slowly gotten stagnant again. I've lost some things as well; parts of myself I liked and feel I will need in the future. It's time for another change. So I'm going to likely back off from the 24/7-esque life that I've been building for the past year.

I felt alive and more magical when the padding was brought out on one night a week. It was a reward, and a signal that the next 24 hours would be safe, warm, and happy. As it stands right now, upon waking in the morning I don't feel cubby in the slightest. The magic has been sucked from the activity. Padding and cub items still make me happy and feel safe, but not for long, and not in the same way they once did. Regression has faded for me, and I want to chase it again.

Speaking of chasing, I'm also in the process of evaluating my life in general and where I wish to head off to and more specifically, in what direction. At present I have a few ideas on what I'd like to do and have been scouring the pages of the internet and many books as to what areas might be more beneficial for me. Ultimately I've decided that I don't really care about the income anymore. I care more about doing what makes me happy than actually making enough money to buy false happiness.

My music is of paramount interest to me as well. I'm taking on that in full from now on and considering every aspect of it as well as chasing down every opportunity I can to share, create, and perform. Music is my escape and what I wholeheartedly want to chase in life. There is nothing better to me than sitting down at a keyboard with a ton of plugins and just making things happen.

I've neglected friends I have in real life too, and I will change that. Balance is a hard thing for me. It's an equation I can never find the solution to.

Overall my first steps into this community are over. I learned what I needed to about myself this past year and it's time for me to begin re-incorporating myself back into this thing I call my life.

OH! And the results of one whole year spent in diapers at night time is that there is occasional bedwetting. Only occasional, maybe once every month or every other month. So technically if you were super ambitious enough and wanted to make it happen you could I suppose. I tried but in the end found out that what mattered more to me was the 'magic' involved in those special regressive weekends where I'm snuggled up, padded, and watching little bear before bed - knowing that I can quickly return to normal. To me that's safety. To me - that's the magic.

So TL;DR (where most of you ended up):
-I'm slowly going to stop wearing to bed everynight
-I'm re-focusing my energy into RL friends and my music
-I'm re-evaluating every plausible and desired direction in life.
-Results of wearing to bed every night for a year are meager but encouraging.

Thank you all for being the best there is,
-Sincerely
-BluPup '14