I'm feeling pretty im the dumps

I've just... got so much on my mind
but I started watching ftm transition videos
and I just... can't stop crying

It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't know what its like

to be trapped in a body, when the only hopes is medical intervention
that you can't afford

I feel like a parapalegic that just wants to walk.

at least people who are parapalegic don't get looked down apon

I feel like a freak of nature

it feels I'm perpetually 13, just. Still uncomfortable and out of place in the world

I just
I just want to grow up already

But I can never grow up to be the man i was supposed to be in the first place