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Feeling ok
10 years ago
Things have gotten... better and worse. but I'm going to guess it's a slow ascent
I'm going to have to find a new place. My roommates right now consist of my ex and my twin sister I don't get along with well in conflict situations.
But on the other hand I've been feeling better, I had a good breakdown and cried for the first time in like 2 months the other day, which is a good thing. Let out a lot of feelings I've been holding in.
I had the realization the other day that I'm never going to be able to be a true father. I never thought that would upset me in the past. Sure i could adopt or have someone artificially inseminated or whatever but the truth is, Why would I adopt when i know of kinds in need?
My older sister is a single mother of 3 children and she's on welfare and has diagnosed OCD and agoraphobia. I lived with her for about 2-3 months this time last year but I was really thinking of moving in with her again and staying this time. I think she really needs the support, not only emotionally but financially as well. I've been trying to visit her a few times and having tea.
Also looks like I'm going to be alone for valentines day. but whatever. it's just another day. First one I've had alone in a long time though. it's a relief actually
I'm starting to like the single life. I've been focusing on myself and learning to take care of myself properly rather then being dependent on anyone else. Though cuddles and affection are nice and all I'm not desperate for it. It's kinda peaceful actually. I think this is the first time I've been single and happy. Usually in the past I've used my relationships as an emotional crutch and that's not a healthy way to live.
Financially I'm in a bit of a rut. I'm hovering around the same amount of coin. But I'm making it by. I paid off my rent until the lease is done in 2 months so all my paychecks are going to go to saving to move. Hopefully to my sister's... but right now she has someone squatting at her house that she doesn't like and she cant get them to leave.
So yea. those are my thoughts. Kinda spooky thinking someones going to read this though
I'm going to have to find a new place. My roommates right now consist of my ex and my twin sister I don't get along with well in conflict situations.
But on the other hand I've been feeling better, I had a good breakdown and cried for the first time in like 2 months the other day, which is a good thing. Let out a lot of feelings I've been holding in.
I had the realization the other day that I'm never going to be able to be a true father. I never thought that would upset me in the past. Sure i could adopt or have someone artificially inseminated or whatever but the truth is, Why would I adopt when i know of kinds in need?
My older sister is a single mother of 3 children and she's on welfare and has diagnosed OCD and agoraphobia. I lived with her for about 2-3 months this time last year but I was really thinking of moving in with her again and staying this time. I think she really needs the support, not only emotionally but financially as well. I've been trying to visit her a few times and having tea.
Also looks like I'm going to be alone for valentines day. but whatever. it's just another day. First one I've had alone in a long time though. it's a relief actually
I'm starting to like the single life. I've been focusing on myself and learning to take care of myself properly rather then being dependent on anyone else. Though cuddles and affection are nice and all I'm not desperate for it. It's kinda peaceful actually. I think this is the first time I've been single and happy. Usually in the past I've used my relationships as an emotional crutch and that's not a healthy way to live.
Financially I'm in a bit of a rut. I'm hovering around the same amount of coin. But I'm making it by. I paid off my rent until the lease is done in 2 months so all my paychecks are going to go to saving to move. Hopefully to my sister's... but right now she has someone squatting at her house that she doesn't like and she cant get them to leave.
So yea. those are my thoughts. Kinda spooky thinking someones going to read this though
Here's hoping your sister's unwanted houseguest can be encouraged out sooner rather than later!