Well this weekend had a few up and a lot of downs. A lot of emotional crap. To start on Friday my father basically said he remembered my birthday but could not be bothered to talk time out of his day to see me. My birthday was spent going through my childhood home and picking what from my childhood I wish to keep. It is very emotionally draining it is a lot for me to take I have been the go between my parents all summer. Mondays conversation with my father where he stated the divorce was the whole families fault. I come home and basically get all the blame piled on me. I feel as if all I do is not good enough and the stress is really hard on me. It be nice if my efforts could be looked at as helpful instead of never good enough. I just wish I Gould have one nice thing happen to me this year I don't think that is to much to ask. Everyone keeps telling me I should be proud of what I have done but it so hard when no one wants to help. I really just would like it if someone tries to prove they believe in me. Honestly I am really starting to question if I believe in me.