Well lets see. Its about 2am and i should be sleeping but i was feeling sentimental so i will make a journal. Its interesting how people grow and mature over the years. I am kind of glad i am not the same person i used to be a few years ago. To be honest, right now, at this point in my life, i feel like a blooming flower. I am not as immature as i used to be and i feel like i have a lot more perspective. I feel like i have overcome the setbacks of being autistic. I am a very understanding person and i honestly believe i have empathy for others. I feel like i am actively seeking knowledge and perspective. I also realize that i have made mistakes. I feel like there were friendships that i let die, friendships i have not explored and things i have done that i wish i had not. I also understand that i am flawed. I also feel that ever since i turned 18, i have engaged less in this website's community and primarily used it to gather things of a more sexual theme. I don't particularly like that part of me but its there and i hope i get bored of it eventually. In all honestly, even though i love this community, i dont always feel like a furry anymore. I used to identify myself as a German shepherd but i feel like Nicholas is simply a part of me, not a whole. I see myself as a different entity. I will of course be a German shepherd on here, but Nicholas Alsatian (Alsatian is my last name now [i am probably going to change it again in the future]) is simply a vehicle in which i interact with you. None the less, he does embody some of my qualities. I suppose he is just a version of me. Even though i feel like a flower in bloom, i have a lot of blooming and growing left to do, But i will become the person i am supposed to be. And in all honesty, i feel like you all will as well. Life is hard, but we have the capability to overcome it. You are all pretty much good people and i think so long as we all just try to better ourselves, we will be okay. I have hope for humanity because we have come this far. We are flawed, yes, and we are capable of incredible evil at times, but don't forget that we are also capable of unimaginable good as well. We are all good people, we just need to keep improving ourselves. It will be okay in the end. Everything works out, and if it does not, it still kind of does. I suppose my views may be overly optimistic and i will probably look back and wonder why i wrote this, but i am told that i am profound when i am tired. Either way, its just kind of nice to exist, you know? Even though i feel like i might distance myself from you all at times, i would like you to know that i have the highest appreciation and admiration for all of you. You have all been here with me for a very long time and helped keep me sane and look at things from different perspectives. You all have helped me so much and i just want you to know that i will do what ever i can do return the favor. Its nice to have friends, whether or not they are online or in the real world. You are all beautiful people.
Anyway, i think i best be off to bed now. Thanks for reading.