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The process of getting help - forced to crawl ?
10 years ago
Recently, I have been trying to find some kind of help because I have been trying to attend a convention that I was preparing for very long, but it's only recently that I figured that some mistakes were made and I am now not sure to be able to go there anymore. Sadly, I am missing some money to stay there for the length of the convention and then it makes it difficult to travel but having nowhere to sleep. All the rest have been paid already (but can't be refunded though, kinda I was still trying to find ways to go there, to have fun and not lose so much money I already involved in all this), I am only missing the hostel.
I totally get that it's my mistake and for that, I should be the only one to find ways to fix that or to gather what I am currently missing. Though, one person proposed their help which raised my hopes up ... just to be totally crushed no so long after.
Yes, because it seems that to them, for me getting help requires that I crawl before them for some time till eventually getting some bit of help. And also, instead of proposing it and just doing it, they prefer to make them complicate to get, creating troubles all the way and finally never providing any kind of help.
By the way, I am not even sure about the kind of help I could eventually get from them since it has never had a chance to be discussed, troubles were just created before talking about it so help would never have to be given in the end.
It's already an awful feeling to know that I won't be able to do something that I was preparing for so long (months), now I have to experience someone wanting to be seen nice but just ending wanting to do absolutely nothing at all to help but just playing with my mood and my feelings.
Of course, I have been told being many "kind" and "nice" things in the process, mainly for not liking how it was going on. And I won't lie, I have not been that "nice" either after being told all that and finally realizing that they did not want to help because I was not wanting to crawl before them).
Ah, I forgot, they have to be praised for everything they do for you (which is quite very rare, but they do happen, that's true), just like offering help even if they don't give it at all in the end. While anything you can do for them (as rare as they do or happening much more often) is never ever any bit of just "ok".
This is a rant, this is my rant. It's not gonna help me getting to that convention at all, but at least it may make me feel a tiny bit better to have expressed such a wrong way (to my eyes) to "propose and offer help".
I totally get that it's my mistake and for that, I should be the only one to find ways to fix that or to gather what I am currently missing. Though, one person proposed their help which raised my hopes up ... just to be totally crushed no so long after.
Yes, because it seems that to them, for me getting help requires that I crawl before them for some time till eventually getting some bit of help. And also, instead of proposing it and just doing it, they prefer to make them complicate to get, creating troubles all the way and finally never providing any kind of help.
By the way, I am not even sure about the kind of help I could eventually get from them since it has never had a chance to be discussed, troubles were just created before talking about it so help would never have to be given in the end.
It's already an awful feeling to know that I won't be able to do something that I was preparing for so long (months), now I have to experience someone wanting to be seen nice but just ending wanting to do absolutely nothing at all to help but just playing with my mood and my feelings.
Of course, I have been told being many "kind" and "nice" things in the process, mainly for not liking how it was going on. And I won't lie, I have not been that "nice" either after being told all that and finally realizing that they did not want to help because I was not wanting to crawl before them).
Ah, I forgot, they have to be praised for everything they do for you (which is quite very rare, but they do happen, that's true), just like offering help even if they don't give it at all in the end. While anything you can do for them (as rare as they do or happening much more often) is never ever any bit of just "ok".
This is a rant, this is my rant. It's not gonna help me getting to that convention at all, but at least it may make me feel a tiny bit better to have expressed such a wrong way (to my eyes) to "propose and offer help".
It's not the first time something is happening to me, but those were not as bad as this current one because I really did all I can to save what was needed and sadly, by a mistake I made somewhere, I am missing a big part of money. Would I have known that, I would have spent so much money already to get a few things done (as reserved).
It's mainly because I don't get a lot per month that it's a lot to me (maybe for some other persons, it's not much). And I had to take care of my pets first of all, which did not make it any easier as well.
But well, being told I'll get help (not sure what kind of help but still some) and then realizing that it won't ever happen, it's hardly any nice and just playing with mood and feelings. I don't think I needed that too, just like the person I talk about in the journal did to me though.
The fact that someone bailed out on you is just cruel, especially making 'demands'. Just a lack of respect for humans which is bothersome to even hear about.
Sure, it's about leisure and then it may not look as important as food or just "surviving", though when you have done all the sacrifices possible to save as much money as you could after having a lot of problems about money (my pets surgeries at the start of the year), it is not as easy as you make it sound with "all you are doing is missing out on a yearly event".
What about all the money I already spent to get train ticket and entrance ticket, both that can't be refunded ? Would I be able to get it back, then sure, all I would miss would be the convention, sad but not so bad after all.
It's all the work that I have done to get it, all the restriction I did to save as much as possible, a lot of things that are just going to pure waste in the end.
Again, I know it's my mistake and that I should be the only one dealing with it. But when you are talking about it to someone (because it's part of chat, like any random topic) and you are offered some help, you are just getting your hopes up. And seeing absolutely nothing being done at all (nor even discussed), you finally realize that the help was not intended to be given at all.
What's the goal to make you think it's gonna be ok and that it'll end well, just to make you feel even worse than you were before ? And also losing chances to actually find solutions by wasting precious times to find ideas or real help ?
That's all I meant in that journal.
For all I know, I am losing a lot more than just missing an event.
Anyway I would just see if there is some one you know going you can share a room with or something to save monies.
I also agree if you don't plan on helping it's pritty bad to lead some one on, paticuarly when there is a time restriction and you make them waist time on you
Don't get me wrong, I can totally understand that other people may not see it like that, but at the same time, they should try to understand (without necessarily agreeing) that it means a lot to me.
About the entrance ticket, I wanted to have a good experience there, and they proposed some VIP ticket (like they do each year) that you can preorder months before. They were sold back in early March and in their ToS, it is clearly said that it's nominative and can't be refunded at all. About the train ticket, over here (in France), the soonest you buy them, the best discount you may get but under some conditions. I've been able to get pretty nice discount but the conditions were that I have to get them as soon as reservation are opened, but also they can't be cancelled, exchanged nor refunded.
I've been trying to find any solutions to my current problem and so far, I've not found any that I can actually afford. I have like a big week left to find something, otherwise it'll be all "over" to me (and then losing all the money used for the tickets I already have).
Once again, all was planned for me to go there but it's obvious I made some mistakes with the fees I had due to taking care of my pets (and I won't ever regret doing it). It's just that it looks like I have some money that were not reported like spent and then it made all the rest wrong.
But yes, here, it's not about anything but ranting about being proposed help when whoever proposed it had never any will to really help. Not sure of the use except to add more stress and frustation to a situation that is already quite tough to handle :/
dose the event have a forum page? maybe you could post there and try and get help with the room fees.
You get a nice price in the end, but you are unable to cancel. Otherwise, with the regular price, you cancel it just normally (before the day of the travel) but it's way more expensive.
For example in my case, going there and going back is costing me 40€ with the discount, when with regular prices it would have cost me 150€ for the exact same travel, with the same train and the same comfort. It just needs me to reserve my places as soon as it's open to reservation and to keep in mind that I won't be able to cancel it (otherwise I lose those 40€).
Reservation was made by the end of March.
And to find a place using forum and such, I tried already ... most people are already prepared and the few ones that still "offer" some place to stay for the length of the convention are requesting a lot of money as they picked the most expensive places/hostels (the ones left around where the convention is). I can't currently afford a cheap and very far hostel (the one that is reserved currently, but that I can still cancel), I just can't go to something a lot more expensive.
Also contacted people I know around there, even the ones who are far. Some are already having people at their house, some won't be there as it's the start of their holiday (and I don't know them too well so they leave me their house like that).
All in all, I'm running low on ideas and possibilities. Running a donation is the only thing I have not done, but it feels kinda wrong to ask that when it's for some leisure. I don't know.