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Changning my Sona...RANT as well
10 years ago
Yes I am changing my sona now.:/ Clearly whenever I am part of a raffle its obvious hardly anyone cannot draw my sona.:/ Plus some are bullshit to be honest I won't give out any names but they didn't use raffle numbers they choose how they feel is perfect. And you know what...that fucking hurts a lot. I am sorry for getting angry but I might as well call this a raffle as well. Just say my sona is hard to draw or just say my sona sucks or something! Because obviously every time I get in one some of those raffles they had to choose who is BETTER.
You know my sona is ME. IRL I was bullied, picked on, my ex cheats on me, and going through shit at home that all this building up has given me a dark deep depression. In here I actually wished I was a somebody that my sona would feel the love and support I wanted. But no...just today it happened again. My sona is the only anthro dragon in the raffle and I hoped I win it. But now...he/she didn't pick mine.
So I am done...it really hurts to actually want to change my sona...but obviously I have no choice. IRL I am not good enough at things...not even my sona isn't good enough neither. I hate getting my hopes up on something that will NEVER happen. So...I am done with my sona so you thank the assholes who chooses which sona is better. Mine obviously is the worst or that they can't draw him. I watched so many of you FA user because I loved so much of your work. Your art is amazing and I hoped and wished that one day my sona would feel special enough. But its not gonna happen.
Sorry for ranting as well...but it actually hurts when you don't feel good enough or perfect enough. IRL I went through all that. Now in here...-Shakes head.- I am still going through that still.
But it won't make a difference anymore hardly any of you read my journals. One time I had thoughts of suicide because I have had enough of ME. Reason I say that is because I was mistreated everywhere I go...cause of my disability. I sometime wish something bad happened to me so I don't feel anymore pain I am going through...no one won't miss me thats for sure. My parents fight a lot that they will just blame each other instead of themselves! No one understands what I go through IRL which is why I only wish for online friends. But you know...its good I have that...because of my disability...NO ONE would want to be my friend anymore.
So thanks a lot on your raffles! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A FUCKING LOSER MORE!!!
You know my sona is ME. IRL I was bullied, picked on, my ex cheats on me, and going through shit at home that all this building up has given me a dark deep depression. In here I actually wished I was a somebody that my sona would feel the love and support I wanted. But no...just today it happened again. My sona is the only anthro dragon in the raffle and I hoped I win it. But now...he/she didn't pick mine.
So I am done...it really hurts to actually want to change my sona...but obviously I have no choice. IRL I am not good enough at things...not even my sona isn't good enough neither. I hate getting my hopes up on something that will NEVER happen. So...I am done with my sona so you thank the assholes who chooses which sona is better. Mine obviously is the worst or that they can't draw him. I watched so many of you FA user because I loved so much of your work. Your art is amazing and I hoped and wished that one day my sona would feel special enough. But its not gonna happen.
Sorry for ranting as well...but it actually hurts when you don't feel good enough or perfect enough. IRL I went through all that. Now in here...-Shakes head.- I am still going through that still.
But it won't make a difference anymore hardly any of you read my journals. One time I had thoughts of suicide because I have had enough of ME. Reason I say that is because I was mistreated everywhere I go...cause of my disability. I sometime wish something bad happened to me so I don't feel anymore pain I am going through...no one won't miss me thats for sure. My parents fight a lot that they will just blame each other instead of themselves! No one understands what I go through IRL which is why I only wish for online friends. But you know...its good I have that...because of my disability...NO ONE would want to be my friend anymore.
So thanks a lot on your raffles! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A FUCKING LOSER MORE!!!
And raffles, well... a lot of them seem rigged, but don't take that personally. Maybe I'm not fully understanding what you're trying to convey, but don't take losing raffles personally! It's like gambling really, you win a few, you lose a lot. :P Only you're not really losing anything. Unless you're paying to enter said raffles... which is just odd. I haven't encountered any like that.
Point being: Don't give up who you are!
Its not paid raffles its the win or lose raffles. Plus a few I have been on weren't rigged. Its where the artist chooses who's character is perfect with there chracter or other things. Well I was in them and haven't won any of them. I been in here for years now and it seems my sona is perfect. Thats saying I am not perfect.
I already given up who I am...no matter what I can't make close friends, I will never find a girl, I won't have a life, I ain't good enough here. So if my sona isn't good enough here thats saying I am not good enough.
Look into yourself and find what makes you, find what you like and don't say "nothing" because there is something! Artists are people too, they are going to do what they want, don't take it personally. And you can avoid this feeling of rejection by simply not entering those kinds of raffles. Enter ones where the winner is decided at random until you can learn to detach yourself from the personal rejection.
Sorry, that's about the best advice I can give you based on my own, personal experiences. Please don't do anything foolish that you'll soon regret!
U SHOULDNT CARE ABOUT Stupid raffles
YOUR DRAGON IS WHO U R and I grew accustomed to it and Since we met
YOU SHOULDNT LET Raffles getyou
ANd DUDE this is how people are getting more hurt OVER NOTHING
I'm saying this with Love, but STOP BEING MOPEY ABOUT A RAFFEL
Raffels is just sorry excuse to Make people feel their sonas are not good enough
THIS Has zip to do with that,
YOU KNOW I feel for you and all the pain you went through Im aware of all Hell you been
but u shouldn't seriously ADD THAT To the rejection of a Stupid Raffle
TAKE A BREATHER Seriously
I don't need you to understand anyway.
and that's a little rude after I backed u up and tried to cheer you
Life is rough bro, Sometimes we have to fight it
I wasn't being rude. I meant I didn't need to understand...for what I am feeling.
I fought for a long time dude...when is it gonna stop because right now...my pain is killing me...I went through enough...sooner or later whatever I am just gonna have to accept it.
I'm living this right now, so I know what it's like and I know it's hard. *hugs for support*
Thank you Riika. I keep forgetting that I have you guys that love my character. Thank you for those kind words you typed. Sorry you had to type so much to help me...vent through this.