Just remembered a rather large portion concerning neighbors vs bf
and his friend Marty vs me

next time..

Jeeze.... no porn? That seems.... a little excessive.
The whole thing of him saying he was "testing" you sounds like bullshit, though.

He was following porn stars and it made me feel Very insecure and not worth being with. It made me feel like shit thinking that he'd rather get off to a thin fake moaning woman than a woman in his life that loves him.
It hurts.. A fucking lot....

It took me a couple of days to get back to you... computer issues and getting ready for both a full workweek as well as the con. Definitely been nuts, I tell ya. So....

From the first section it's definitely apparent you're burning the candle at both ends. I definitely know how that's like; I'm working a full week as well as being on call(basically, I need to be available to take calls 24/7, thankfully it hasn't been too busy this week. However, I've spent time working between my regular job and helping out at the family business; it's a living, though.

It sounds like you need a break, and to re-evaluate the deal with tutoring this kid. Firstly, you're charging her 25% of what the average tutoring cost is around here(I'm assuming you're charging her $10/hr, not $10/day). Additionally, you're paying for the kid's meals, snacks, and other resources while he is here. This really should be the parent's responsibility as it's chipping into your profit margins. You're providing a service and you should expect to gain something from it. That's something that was hard learned from my first few freelance gigs... don't give your services away. Definitely undercut the competition, but never just give it away. There's some other frustrations here, which isn't helping with your work/sleep schedule.

If I could make some suggestions? Here's what I would do: A few days in advance, set up a time for a business meeting with the mother. This might not be easy, but tell her that due to schedule conflicts you need to set up ground rules. Firstly, make a reasonable pick-up time. If she's at work at 8, she's probably off by 5 assuming an hour lunch. That's my work schedule(most days) at least. She should be able to pick up her kid by 6-6:30. I'd say that past 7PM, she will incur a late charge of an additional $10/hr(to equal $20/hr past that. Additionally, she should either leave money to pay for her son's meals/snacks or send him with food. You're tutoring him, not being a second parent while she's at work. I'm certain any other tutoring service in town has rules like this. Knowing that she's paying $20/hr because she wants to goof off and be late picking up her kid at the cost of your free/sleep time will likely be motivation enough to get her kid. And, it offers you an out.

With your job? There was someone at the family business exactly like your boss; she was nothing but toxic but unfortunately she was so nice to everyone's face that major disruptions to the business didn't get her fired(up to and including having a series of very tumultuous poly relationships with her husband and numerous coworkers). It took her running a competing shop -out of our store, after hours- for my folks to finally fire her. She treated me like shit, and it was hard to work with her as she had to be the person who ran everything.

If your boss is misreporting your hours, this is a SERIOUS breach of her duties and it could be likely she's cooking her books(so to speak) and making it look like she's got her payroll in a row... when in fact she isn't. Frankly, if you're willing, get scheduled OT and -work- that OT. However, get evidence that you're punching in and out at those times. Document it. Get a picture/copy of the schedule. Take a picture with your phone every time you clock in/out. If you find that you're getting yelled at for working overtime, and if you're finding that you're being shorted, you bring that up with someone higher up the chain than her. Chances are the accounting department won't be too pleased she's shorting people, because that's grounds for a lawsuit and very stiff fines from the Department of Labor. And, if her boss isn't willing to look into it the Dep't of Labor definitely is. If I remember correctly they even have an office in town off of Fillmore. I definitely understand about being fed up and wanting to quit, but the extra hours definitely could pay off the debt you mentioned.

And, your beau? I don't have much advice to offer as I'm not really experienced with relationships. However, I will somewhat agree with Triller's comment that the 'no porn or following models' rule is a little excessive.

I understand where you're coming from. I've been outright cheated on a few times, and several other times I've had a relationship end to find out that they jumped right into dating someone else. It hurts. It hurts horribly. However, part of a relationship is a measure of trust and enough free space to live a separate life while still being in a committed partnership. You need to be able to give your partner that trust. However, at the same time that trust is a two-way street. Perhaps a conversation with your partner could shed some light on things?

I don't typically talk about my private life, but I personally do look at some of that stuff, primarily to explore. It's more or a less(well, on the sporadic occasions where I'm actually dating someone) a chance to expand horizons a little bit. Sort of a 'Oh, I'd -love- to see her in that outfit!-' or a 'yanno, perhaps we could try something like this tonight...' train of thought other than focusing on other women. That's me speaking for myself, though... it's a bit convoluted but it might make a little sense. However, I also agree that the 'testing you' comment was a little off-color. Frankly, if mistakes were made and feelings hurt, owning up to them is the difficult yet correct response.

However, the phone thing can definitely be frustrating. I'm definitely guilty of being on the computer most of the time, although that's tapered off a bit. For me, I need copious amounts of time to destress and decompress, and being alone, researching car stuff, writing, or playing a video game helps with that. Especially after a hard day. Perhaps he's doing something similar?

I'd say that communication will be the big thing here. This is where you need to get some time alone, sit down, and have a serious, honest conversation about these roadblocks. Getting angry, being distant and feeling insecure does not help anything, something I've learned from bitter experience. I might not be experienced in successful relationships, but I've had a lot of practice in watching them fall apart, heh.

Hopefully some of my rambling helps; I went a little more in-depth than I figured I would. I'm definitely excited for the con; just a few more days! I hope that it proves to be a relaxing time for you.

Not ramblings at all. AS for the OT from last week have no evidence and the schedule is already scrapped. Keeping track more importantly here because I expect a write-up every day and frankly, I don't care if I get it. I could use a 3-day suspension haha. Just hoping to use up all my vacation time like I said and get paid out before I go. But huge pay-cut if I moved jobs Unless I pick up another :/ ugh

And I understand the communication. We sat down and had a serious talk about it twice or three times before. He doesn't mind it the least. He's far to busy playing his Starwars online anyways. See my logic is because all my other BF were not into porn because we had sex more than once everyday I was the only focus. Now I'm not and we hardly have sex because I am so fucking busy -.- And even so it's not good enough for me because I am difficult to get off or just- I feel like I'm Asexual any more because I don't essentially have a sex drive anymore. I'm so busy and overwhelmed with everything else that I'm just overly exhausted. It's like I have to write him in a schedule for a round.

I am sure a majority of my frustration is coming from my hormones as it is in like a phase 2 where I am just utterly depressed and have no drive to do anything. It's SUPER depressing and I have things that I want to do but then my motivation is all the way in the ocean and I'm not about to go diving. My step-mother says that perhaps its time i get on anti-depressants which sound like they would help but at the same time I am thinking, "Great more money that I can't fucking use..."

Need to go back and listen to "The Secret" and think more positive again because then I got over it. Think good and good happens unto thee. (type dealio) haha

Also as note I'm just against normal human porn because okay TRUTH is they are fake as hell and since he is used to that as an expectation the ONE time he went down I wasn't doing those reactions; hasn't done it since. Talked to him about it and he says he will try then never does. This seems a bit to personal but I rather express myself than hold out on truth. I should just ram his face down there because apparently im the only fucking dom. I always have to be the one to engage -.-

UGH whole other story!
Sorry not going any further than that hahaah

but thanks both for the comments