Alright everyone here it goes, this is all true everyone every word of it. Now I am telling this to you all, in order to make things quite clear, for you all. In order to express all of my problems, and all of the problems, that I've been giving to you all so far just as well. So here it goes everyone ok? Now so far, I've been very neglectful to allot of my cub's, friends, and family members, that do exist on FA, as in this here site so far. As I do wish, that this had never even happened to begin with. So I do apologize everyone, for all the mistakes. That have ever been made, by me so far but as for you fellow furs, that I've hurt so far, and have also, pretty much bothered so far recently. As in doing something else, besides talking to those, that I do care about, as well as rping with other people on here. As it's been a real big problem for me, as much as everyone else, that I've annoyed so far. The next thing is that, I've also got a bit of brain damage, as of from the many amounts, of past seizures, all through out my life, ever since 2005 so far. Which is due to why I'm very annoying, in the first place after all. As that is what was said, all by the neurologist who has shown me, the x-ray as to where the damage is at, as the neurologist doesn't know if it is either caused by my past seizures, that I've already mentioned so far, or anything else for that matter. The next thing for me to mention, is what many have said bout using my autism, being used as a crutch, towards those that I have bothered so far. In both the past as well as the present, as I do admit it is all true actually. What with all of the things, that I've been doing to you all so far, and yet still, as of this day actually, this is really heartbreaking to many of those, that I've bothered so far after all. So to me, I feel that it's pretty terrible that I do keep these journal's up a lot of times, just to keep me from getting anyone even more upset with me, with those that already are to begin with. As that does make me feel even worse, then I already have been, being that I still won't pay much, attention to these types of journal's, that I'm referring to so far. Then there's the last one. As it can be either me staying on the same topic, for quite some time actually. Or just being really annoying with rping on other people's artwork, you name it. As to those that I myself, have done to you all over the years. Either it being those who are fur's, or whatever you all may be. I myself actually happen to hate, doing these things to you all so much. As I do oh so wish, that I had never ever been like this to you all, period. So you see everyone, the truth is, is that I'm actually quite afraid to admit all of this to everyone of you, the fact is, that I have always been a coward, towards admitting my true self to anyone who reads, these types of journals, that I post so far. As it can put a lot on me, at plenty of times actually. For instance, being afraid about failing with new people, that appear on FA so far, not knowing how to act at certain times, with them, that's just some of the reasons, as to why I do feel the way that I do everyone. How can someone who has had many cubs in his life, be so annoying, so heartless, and is so afraid to express, who I truly am, along with losing many friends, and family alike, in the process. As I am trying not to be such a failure here, or a wannabe in this here community everyone. But it just never ever works out, for someone like me sometimes k everyone? (Now here are some people, that I have hurt lately in my wake of annoyance, which are as follows,  PePechu of whom I spammed, him constantly in order to get his attention, not knowing that he was asleep to begin with though.  DiaperBold whom I told him in a pic of his, about me wanting to rp with him, instead of doing that through notes sadly.  Ethan86  lisa87 these both who got together, and lead me saddened after all, hurt me real bad.) As these are Just to name a few so far everyone, knowing that I might not care about what I post, on this here journal to begin with after all. Or trying to make friends by rpin with them in their picks, you know things like that, because that may happen a lot with me, so why even bother, unless someone can help me, even if it won't work the first time, I just need to keep getting help from someone on here is all, someone who is patient with me, who is very much important to me, who won't give up on me, no matter what, because I really wish to try stopping myself, from doing this spamming issue, ever again, but it isn't easy ok, specially when it comes to rping on other peoples artwork btw, so please someone, do help me out please, I don't wanna lose anyone ever again ok?) (I also feel as though I'm a bad father, a worthless cub, who doesn't deserve this here fandom that the rest of you fellow cub's are in, at times, but then during many other times though, I do happen to think of myself, as a good cub in this here fandom and a good dad as well, but, tell me though, which one am I really?)