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Changes And Progress
10 years ago
Wow. its been 7 months since I posted a journal. And the last thing I uploaded was a comic for a friend of mine from 3 months ago. Been busy, distracted, procrastinating, etc.
Ever since I lost my job a few months back, I've been slacking off and been occupied with other things so that I won't be depressed throughout the whole year. Talking to friends on second life and skype. Making friends on my own turned into a struggle for me to even converse. Ever since I started to type or speak I don't make sense. Anything I say is cryptic and hard to decipher. So, I stay quiet and tag along with other people in a group while I listen and say a few confirmations like, ' yeah'. And lately, I feel when I wanted to speak or start a conversation it never continues. I waited minutes and hours on end for any response to what I started. And than when its time for me to leave, they decided to say something that isn't relevant to what I was talking about. Its like my whole time spending with people was a waste and than I feel that their just there to be there as company. Another thing I like to add, is when I do something that I feel like doing, I get no respond or attention. Often times, they do other things and not noticed that I'm there. I would talk for hours and yet no attention will be noticed from the group cuz their busy doing other things like watching vids on youtube or facebook, playing games, and fixing their avatars. So, when I do something else cuz of the lack of attention and communication I get the infamous comment, ' And everyone got quiet.'
I would say, ' Cuz no one don't want to talk apparently' and than a fight rose cuz the lack of talking. Which is why I left the group in a first place cuz I don't want to be around people that would just flat out ignores you while their doing something else on their damn computers. What's the point of being in a group if your not saying anything to each other and your attention is on something else. ADD much? Another thing that I like to clarify is that I'm not being ungrateful. I appreciate all the time that I had with the friends I made thus far during my times when I have my lows. Plus, most of the friends that I hung with have that I don't. And that's a job. Which is why I won't be around people cuz I feel I'm just being a nuisance because all I want is to be around them. Which is why I'm cutting ties to everyone on Second Life and Skype because I hate when someone mentioned about liking something and than saying that I know your kinks and that you didn't have enough, ' I just feel that's all I am to my friends.' A attention sexual whore
I'm surrounded by bad influence and its time that I change myself into a better person. Not to act like a total nympho when I'm around people. I wanted to have a normal group of friends that doesn't require benefits. It appears I attract the wrong people. I feel I'll never amount to anything but that, so I'm going to do something about that. I'm going to find a job as soon I'm done house/dogsitting, cleaning, and taking care of my dog. I'm slowly losing my sanity since I could never get anyone to reply to me when I send a message. It got to the point where I'm talking to myself when picking up my husband from work. Yeah, its that bad. I need to get out of the house and do productive work and do more drawings and not be lazy or coming up with excuse after excuse to cover the fact that I have no motivation and being lazy.
1. Get a Job
I'll worry about getting my own place later. At the moment, I want to work on me, get back into drawing again. Never get distracted by Second Life or the questionable friends that I've talked to over the past months. I cherished the awesome memories that I have with the people that I hang with. But it looks like, RL is our main priority and making friends on the internet is a minority of our daily lives. So, expect more drawings Friday to be uploaded cuz I'm gonna go full throttle and getting my mojo back.
I will have games that I can play to take a break from when my brain is fried from the overloading ideas I'm getting.
I will note the projects that I'm going to be doing in my profile and maybe add a bit of bio of my new fursona. That's pretty much it
Ever since I lost my job a few months back, I've been slacking off and been occupied with other things so that I won't be depressed throughout the whole year. Talking to friends on second life and skype. Making friends on my own turned into a struggle for me to even converse. Ever since I started to type or speak I don't make sense. Anything I say is cryptic and hard to decipher. So, I stay quiet and tag along with other people in a group while I listen and say a few confirmations like, ' yeah'. And lately, I feel when I wanted to speak or start a conversation it never continues. I waited minutes and hours on end for any response to what I started. And than when its time for me to leave, they decided to say something that isn't relevant to what I was talking about. Its like my whole time spending with people was a waste and than I feel that their just there to be there as company. Another thing I like to add, is when I do something that I feel like doing, I get no respond or attention. Often times, they do other things and not noticed that I'm there. I would talk for hours and yet no attention will be noticed from the group cuz their busy doing other things like watching vids on youtube or facebook, playing games, and fixing their avatars. So, when I do something else cuz of the lack of attention and communication I get the infamous comment, ' And everyone got quiet.'
I would say, ' Cuz no one don't want to talk apparently' and than a fight rose cuz the lack of talking. Which is why I left the group in a first place cuz I don't want to be around people that would just flat out ignores you while their doing something else on their damn computers. What's the point of being in a group if your not saying anything to each other and your attention is on something else. ADD much? Another thing that I like to clarify is that I'm not being ungrateful. I appreciate all the time that I had with the friends I made thus far during my times when I have my lows. Plus, most of the friends that I hung with have that I don't. And that's a job. Which is why I won't be around people cuz I feel I'm just being a nuisance because all I want is to be around them. Which is why I'm cutting ties to everyone on Second Life and Skype because I hate when someone mentioned about liking something and than saying that I know your kinks and that you didn't have enough, ' I just feel that's all I am to my friends.' A attention sexual whore
I'm surrounded by bad influence and its time that I change myself into a better person. Not to act like a total nympho when I'm around people. I wanted to have a normal group of friends that doesn't require benefits. It appears I attract the wrong people. I feel I'll never amount to anything but that, so I'm going to do something about that. I'm going to find a job as soon I'm done house/dogsitting, cleaning, and taking care of my dog. I'm slowly losing my sanity since I could never get anyone to reply to me when I send a message. It got to the point where I'm talking to myself when picking up my husband from work. Yeah, its that bad. I need to get out of the house and do productive work and do more drawings and not be lazy or coming up with excuse after excuse to cover the fact that I have no motivation and being lazy.
1. Get a Job
I'll worry about getting my own place later. At the moment, I want to work on me, get back into drawing again. Never get distracted by Second Life or the questionable friends that I've talked to over the past months. I cherished the awesome memories that I have with the people that I hang with. But it looks like, RL is our main priority and making friends on the internet is a minority of our daily lives. So, expect more drawings Friday to be uploaded cuz I'm gonna go full throttle and getting my mojo back.
I will have games that I can play to take a break from when my brain is fried from the overloading ideas I'm getting.
I will note the projects that I'm going to be doing in my profile and maybe add a bit of bio of my new fursona. That's pretty much it
