FA+
Shop
Anxiety Sucks (Alt. I hate my brain).
10 years ago
General
Uuugh. I hate my brain.
Okay, so it's been about *counts on fingers* three, maybe three and a half years, since I last let myself commission something from an artist? The last things I remember commissioning are those pictures of Corinth/Corina I got from
Tanks and 
PotionMasterCernun. So yeah, I'm a little rusty when it comes to commissioning stuff, and waaay out of practice in exercising patience and reining in my thoughts when it comes to commissioning things like OCs and 'Sonas. I don't know why, but every time I think that I've figured out what I want, something comes to mind that makes the original idea sound cliche or not work logically with the character's body-type, personality, species, etc.
Not only that, but I stress out over whether or not I gave a clear enough picture of what I was going for when I sent the initial form/sheet to this person, and feel the urge to send them a Note or an email or something to make sure I didn't accidentally mess things up in that way, making it so that they have to undo all of their hard work just because I didn't put down enough info. I do a lot of my own editing for my stories, and I tend to be verbose with imagery, so I always feel like, when it comes to these things, I've messed up in some way.
On top of that, working with OCs is way different than working with pre-established characters, especially when describing them to an artist over the Internet. It's hard to write out in a way for them to visualize, and you worry about whether or not what you said makes sense- well, you do if you're me. And then, just when you think you've got everything figured out, BAM! A new wave of doubt and over-analyzing hits you, and you start freaking out. You want to tell this person about the thing you're freaking out about, want to keep them from having to undo all of their hard work just because you were indecisive, but at the same time, you don't want to annoy them with your constant stream of Notes or emails of you fretting and fussing over every little detail your brain tells you that you need to get right.
And its even worse when you think that you've already offended/annoyed them because Paypal's changed up the way their system works when it comes to sending payments and you accidentally sent it to them wrong, which meant they had to refund your money for you to send it properly and you feel like such an idiot and you want to apologize up and down but it doesn't seem like it's enough and you're afraid you're going to come across as annoying again and...
You see what I'm talking about? My brain sucks.
The long and short of it, I've commissioned some things from an awesome artist here on FA, and all of the above stuff's what's been going on since we first talked. It's for a new 'sona- a Dewott pokesona- and I keep thinking of things that may or may not work for the character that I didn't mention in the first Note because I didn't think of it at the time and I want to let the artist know about it, but then again I don't want them to think I'm annoying and hate me for it because I really love their artwork and think they're an awesome person. But at the same time, my brain won't shut up about all the what-ifs and the worse case scenarios and how I need to let them know what I'm thinking about the character but that if I do then I might make them hate me for bugging them so much and they might never take a commission from me again and/or blacklist me on their user-page and suggest other people not take commissions from me.
It's a vicious cycle. And one that utterly sucks to deal with on top of having a massive sinus headache and neck-ache due to a recent, sudden drop in barometric pressure where I live.
Any advice, gang?
EDIT: Okay, so I broke down and messaged them about the latest worry. Still haven't heard back from them, but I know from the inbox that they got it (at least, think that's what it means when the Note title stops being bolded). Now I'm back to worrying about whether or not they're angry/annoyed with me again. Anxiety's wonderful, huh? (<-- Sarcasm)
Okay, so it's been about *counts on fingers* three, maybe three and a half years, since I last let myself commission something from an artist? The last things I remember commissioning are those pictures of Corinth/Corina I got from
Tanks and 
PotionMasterCernun. So yeah, I'm a little rusty when it comes to commissioning stuff, and waaay out of practice in exercising patience and reining in my thoughts when it comes to commissioning things like OCs and 'Sonas. I don't know why, but every time I think that I've figured out what I want, something comes to mind that makes the original idea sound cliche or not work logically with the character's body-type, personality, species, etc.Not only that, but I stress out over whether or not I gave a clear enough picture of what I was going for when I sent the initial form/sheet to this person, and feel the urge to send them a Note or an email or something to make sure I didn't accidentally mess things up in that way, making it so that they have to undo all of their hard work just because I didn't put down enough info. I do a lot of my own editing for my stories, and I tend to be verbose with imagery, so I always feel like, when it comes to these things, I've messed up in some way.
On top of that, working with OCs is way different than working with pre-established characters, especially when describing them to an artist over the Internet. It's hard to write out in a way for them to visualize, and you worry about whether or not what you said makes sense- well, you do if you're me. And then, just when you think you've got everything figured out, BAM! A new wave of doubt and over-analyzing hits you, and you start freaking out. You want to tell this person about the thing you're freaking out about, want to keep them from having to undo all of their hard work just because you were indecisive, but at the same time, you don't want to annoy them with your constant stream of Notes or emails of you fretting and fussing over every little detail your brain tells you that you need to get right.
And its even worse when you think that you've already offended/annoyed them because Paypal's changed up the way their system works when it comes to sending payments and you accidentally sent it to them wrong, which meant they had to refund your money for you to send it properly and you feel like such an idiot and you want to apologize up and down but it doesn't seem like it's enough and you're afraid you're going to come across as annoying again and...
You see what I'm talking about? My brain sucks.
The long and short of it, I've commissioned some things from an awesome artist here on FA, and all of the above stuff's what's been going on since we first talked. It's for a new 'sona- a Dewott pokesona- and I keep thinking of things that may or may not work for the character that I didn't mention in the first Note because I didn't think of it at the time and I want to let the artist know about it, but then again I don't want them to think I'm annoying and hate me for it because I really love their artwork and think they're an awesome person. But at the same time, my brain won't shut up about all the what-ifs and the worse case scenarios and how I need to let them know what I'm thinking about the character but that if I do then I might make them hate me for bugging them so much and they might never take a commission from me again and/or blacklist me on their user-page and suggest other people not take commissions from me.
It's a vicious cycle. And one that utterly sucks to deal with on top of having a massive sinus headache and neck-ache due to a recent, sudden drop in barometric pressure where I live.
Any advice, gang?
EDIT: Okay, so I broke down and messaged them about the latest worry. Still haven't heard back from them, but I know from the inbox that they got it (at least, think that's what it means when the Note title stops being bolded). Now I'm back to worrying about whether or not they're angry/annoyed with me again. Anxiety's wonderful, huh? (<-- Sarcasm)
I'm no expert but I like to distance myself from everything a bit and do something that would make me relaxed and happy like spending som time with my family, playing a game from my childhood, watch some TV or go for a peaceful walk in nature.
If you at first have a good idea but later find it to be clichéd. I'd suggest you save it and maybe come back to it later when you're fresh, if there are no time constraints of course. :)
Even if you've read through the descriptions you've sent, maybe read it through yet another time so you make sure you haven't missed anything. I usually like to take my time with that so nothing happens later along the way. I would feel so bad about myself if that happened. xD
Maybe you knew all this already but I hope it helped you out at least somewhat.. :)
P.S. Be sure to drink a lot of water. I always drink too little myself. xD
I've done my best to distance myself from the Notes section for at least two days now, but it's kinda hard to do so when we're talking about the Internet, which has essentially pervaded nearly all aspects and avenues of society. It's only within the last day or so that the latest worry came about, so I probably would've waited longer before sending another Note to check up on the commission if it hadn't come to mind.
Then there's also the fact that I've been stiffed on a commission that I already paid for before in the past, and while I doubt this artist is that kind of person, I'm always wary of the possibility and like to keep an eye on my investments.
As for saving and coming back to the idea, the brief reference I gave them is still in my Outbox, so I can check up on it whenever I have the time, so there's that. However, now that I think about it, it isn't so much that the idea I sent them is cliche, but more that my original idea for an aspect of the character's design doesn't seem to work now that I've had time to properly think about it.
My idea was to give the Dewott pokemorph a hairstyle like the one I use on my Avatar (my first fursona, Corinth), but now that I've had time to think about it, I don't really think it would look all that good on an otter. Also, I really like how they draw otters, but the initial sketch they sent me when I came up with the idea for the stand-alone art piece (aside from the character ref. sheet) seemed rather cartoony like a Dewott from the games/anime, especially the face/head-shape. While I doubt that this is any indicator of the finished product, my brain wants me to let them know that I was thinking of the character looking like an otter or semi-realistic Dewott would look like in their style.