FA+
Shop
Its better to have loved and lost than... Oh who am I foolin
16 years ago
The Rantings of an Art Crazed Chow, Second verse, same as the first.
*** Warning, this is a spleen venting rant about romance, relationships and being lured into something via sexual suggestions. If you are under aged, a prude, or just don't want to hear about it, exit now while you still have a chance. ***
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Yep, it's another failed romance journal rant, I know you folks have had enough of these from me but this is the last one, I promise, I gotta vent or else I am going to burst. So, where to begin?
Spring, and this old chow's fancy turns to thoughts of romance, snow off the ground, the apartment as clean as I can get it and I've been more or less a good doggie to the gf so where was my cookie??? Denied!
Excuse #1: Since my dog died, I can't leave my mom home alone by herself.
My thoughts: Oh come on, your mom is 74, she can take care of herself fine, you are 50! you can take care of yourself fine, sorry about the loss, but time to move on.
My reply: Oh, ok sweetie I understand.
Excuse #2: The last time we did it, you said you could not get it in when I told you it was already in there.
My thoughts: Hey, I'm working the best I can, I can't help it if your disability won't allow you to open your legs wider, and I can't help if nature played a cruel joke on me and endowed me with less than normal size, I'm trying the best I can to deal with it, please work with me, there are more positions we can try.
My reply: Sorry Sweetie, I'll try harder next time, if there is a next time.
Excuse #3: That's all you think about, sex! Why don't you grow up, a relationship is more than just sex.
My thoughts: True honey, but you gotta remember, males are more or less hardwired for it, trust me if I can just cuddle with you without getting aroused, things will be ok, but you gotta let nature take it's course, that or get me castrated.
My reply: Sorry sweetie, I know, I'm trying hard to suppress the urges, but the hand can only do so much.
Trust me, there would be more but at the moment, it would be too heartbreaking to haul them out. The confusion and the frustrations continue to build but what can I do, I can't dump her because I've become loyal to her like a poor stray who received a handout and follows you home hoping for another scrap. The confusion lies in the Gentleman factor I more or less adopted, after all, I am 50 and I want to try hard not to give an image of being some dirty old man. I also realize that I am well past my prime, the mistakes in my past for pursuing a career is taking it's toll. I should have settled down when I had the chance many years ago.
Oh well, so much for that. The entire weekend was filled with thoughts, from making a vow to swear off females and consider going full tilt gay, if that was possible,
to finding something to dull the pain and castrating myself, then all parties will win. I dug deep into my shattered soul and figured it is best to just remain where I am, stuck between a rock and a hardon. Fitting punishment for being a male.
Ok, what few female aquaintenecs I still have, (At this point I can guess that I have no female friends anymore) Don't consider this a turn-off, I'm only bearing my soul to you to show you I'm damaged goods not worthy of being known. To what few gay friends I have left, I don't know what to say, I'm on the brink, I feel I'm too old to offer something more than friendship because of the baggage I carry. I will still be friends but I will be that moody friend who hangs out in the shadows. To anyone else, please don't pity me, I dug my post hole, now I gotta stuff myself in it. (Oh god! I'm so messed up I am even tossing in innuendos in my writing.)
I can't leave her, and I don't know why. It will just be a matter of time before no more cuddling, no more kisses on the cheek, (I can't suck face with her cause she laughs when I kiss.) I will just be the fixture that takes out the trash, clean the animals, and help with computer problems, maybe it is fate, my lot in life. I can only envy those with more happier lives. Cheers.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Yep, it's another failed romance journal rant, I know you folks have had enough of these from me but this is the last one, I promise, I gotta vent or else I am going to burst. So, where to begin?
Spring, and this old chow's fancy turns to thoughts of romance, snow off the ground, the apartment as clean as I can get it and I've been more or less a good doggie to the gf so where was my cookie??? Denied!
Excuse #1: Since my dog died, I can't leave my mom home alone by herself.
My thoughts: Oh come on, your mom is 74, she can take care of herself fine, you are 50! you can take care of yourself fine, sorry about the loss, but time to move on.
My reply: Oh, ok sweetie I understand.
Excuse #2: The last time we did it, you said you could not get it in when I told you it was already in there.
My thoughts: Hey, I'm working the best I can, I can't help it if your disability won't allow you to open your legs wider, and I can't help if nature played a cruel joke on me and endowed me with less than normal size, I'm trying the best I can to deal with it, please work with me, there are more positions we can try.
My reply: Sorry Sweetie, I'll try harder next time, if there is a next time.
Excuse #3: That's all you think about, sex! Why don't you grow up, a relationship is more than just sex.
My thoughts: True honey, but you gotta remember, males are more or less hardwired for it, trust me if I can just cuddle with you without getting aroused, things will be ok, but you gotta let nature take it's course, that or get me castrated.
My reply: Sorry sweetie, I know, I'm trying hard to suppress the urges, but the hand can only do so much.
Trust me, there would be more but at the moment, it would be too heartbreaking to haul them out. The confusion and the frustrations continue to build but what can I do, I can't dump her because I've become loyal to her like a poor stray who received a handout and follows you home hoping for another scrap. The confusion lies in the Gentleman factor I more or less adopted, after all, I am 50 and I want to try hard not to give an image of being some dirty old man. I also realize that I am well past my prime, the mistakes in my past for pursuing a career is taking it's toll. I should have settled down when I had the chance many years ago.
Oh well, so much for that. The entire weekend was filled with thoughts, from making a vow to swear off females and consider going full tilt gay, if that was possible,
to finding something to dull the pain and castrating myself, then all parties will win. I dug deep into my shattered soul and figured it is best to just remain where I am, stuck between a rock and a hardon. Fitting punishment for being a male.
Ok, what few female aquaintenecs I still have, (At this point I can guess that I have no female friends anymore) Don't consider this a turn-off, I'm only bearing my soul to you to show you I'm damaged goods not worthy of being known. To what few gay friends I have left, I don't know what to say, I'm on the brink, I feel I'm too old to offer something more than friendship because of the baggage I carry. I will still be friends but I will be that moody friend who hangs out in the shadows. To anyone else, please don't pity me, I dug my post hole, now I gotta stuff myself in it. (Oh god! I'm so messed up I am even tossing in innuendos in my writing.)
I can't leave her, and I don't know why. It will just be a matter of time before no more cuddling, no more kisses on the cheek, (I can't suck face with her cause she laughs when I kiss.) I will just be the fixture that takes out the trash, clean the animals, and help with computer problems, maybe it is fate, my lot in life. I can only envy those with more happier lives. Cheers.
more than that, lipstick on an hand does not look appealing, and talking in
a high voice only strains my vocal cords.
mature enough to figure out that there is more to a relationship than sex, the trick is to try and keep
the urges down to a low roar. I've thought about seeking help on this matter but talking to a shrink
and taking drugs do not appeal to me and with the cost of medical and health care as it is, getting
the juniors chopped seems drastic and expensive. All I can do is let nature takes it's course I guess.
Excuse #3: That's all you think about, sex! Why don't you grow up, a relationship is more than just sex.
My thoughts: Lies, stop spewing lies!
My reply: Lies, stop spewing lies!
way but when your back is against the wall, you gotta cry out somewhere. In the future I will try and keep things to a low roar and focus more on art.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about!
For what it's worth, based on the very little you submitted, and without knowing your situation or how long you've been together, sounds to me like her love's grown cold. Regarding your undersized underframe, doesn't matter how big or small it is. It's what you do with what you got that matters. If the love's truly there, size is completely irrevelant. Real, lasting love means there's a way around every shortcoming (no pun intended), in the the bedroom or out. Also, ya gotta be friends first, then lovers. Sex comes and goes, but unless your relationship is built on that foundation of friendship, as I found out the hard way, when the sex goes - and it will, eventually - you'll find you have little left worthwhile. Even if you switch teams and turn gay, the same problems will remain.
Good luck, mate!