Good evening.

And welcome to the journal of ultimate evil. I of course am your most evil and unforgiving of tour guides, Adrik R. Wolf, and our journey into the realm of unspeakable horrors begins from our current location: the Burger King off of Exit 137 of Interstate 37. Why a Burger King you ask in your quivering, uncertain voice? Because it is the home of the black Whopper that turns your poop green and is made from the enriched ingredients of pure evil!

They also have Angry Chicken Fries in case you are feeling the need for spicy and thoroughly evil poultry products.

For those of you without a brave heart, get up and remove yourself from reading this journal. For to read this journal is to read the very written words of evil, and those words may be too potent for your soul to handle. So go ahead, exercise your right to be a coward! The chosen ones will wait...

Now, for those of you with a brave heart and have stayed, look upon my face and know that to look upon my face is to look into the face of evil!

Yes! I am a fur possessed by many demons! Polite demons who would hold the door open for a woman carrying too many parcels and pushing a baby carriage, but demons nonetheless!

Yes, I've walked the line of evil many times since being spawned onto this earth! It's a windy, twisting path of death and angst and torment that actually leads to a very quaint flower garden and hummingbird sanctuary...but beyond that...EVIL!

Which brings us to the purpose of tonight's sermon of the damned!

It is October and with October comes my favourite time of the year. And no, not Columbus Day! That is second in line to the most evil of all holidays created! I cast my Columbus Day gifts aside just to feast upon the unholy sacrifices that only the one true holiday can bestow to those with evil in their hearts and salt on their hams!

I speak of course...of Halloween!

Yes, Halloween has always been the time of year where evil is given a free pass to unleash chaos and fear amongst the damned! And this year shall be no different as I welcome into my home...a figure who could be the spawn of Satan himself...

Man-servant Hecubus!

Delivered fresh from Transylvania onboard the Railway to Hell, Man-servant Hecubus is ready to serve both me, his Evil Master, and Satan! I've made him a nice little spot in the garage where we can summon the dark forces of the damned without disturbing the rest of the household who may be trying to sleep.

The next few weeks will be the Proof of Evil! Will Man-servant Hecubus be able to fulfill the twisted desires that only true evil can create? He is off to an evil start. When asked to bring his unwashed laundry to the washing machine to be cleansed with the evil detergents of the eternal abyss, he flat out refused! So impolite and Evil! Evil! Evil!

Then I asked Man-servant Hecubus about partaking in the Sleep of Ages. I cast my spell and he went into his hypnotic trance. "Can you hear me, Man-servant Hecubus?" I asked.

"Yes, Master," he replied.

But wait! If Hecubus was sleeping...then how could he hear me? Maybe because he was LYING! Dirty, dirty liar! Evil, evil liar! He is going to need some more work to fully control his streak of evil!

Why, just today I went to leave the house to run some errands, but got delayed by five whole minutes because somebody left their silver Fiat parked in front of the garage, blocking my Rover in! And who owns a silver Fiat you may ask? Why Man-servant Hecubus! Evil!

Remember my fellow furries....don't fear the evil that is around us. Do not avoid the Hounds of Hell! Do not avoid the Beasts of Brimstone! Do not avoid the Puppies of...Purgatory...

Enough with the evil metaphors! It is time for me to rob you of your free will! Are you prepared to hand over your existence to Satan? Does this frighten you? Oh? Really? Well maybe after breakfast then? Oh...you have an appointment as well. Well I could probably do this weekend either day if that works for you. I just don't want to sound in a rush, but it's very important that I capture your soul before Halloween. Kind of an evil rule and everything...

How does it feel to know that your mortal being is going to be captured and used for the purposes of evil by The Forces Of Darkness!

Umm...yes I'm pretty sure we can have you back in time to do your Christmas shopping. Evil is pretty flexible around the holidays...

But now...it is time to cast the Sleep Of Ages over you, the brave souls who have read this journal to the end! Repeat after me!

"Three Swedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watches switches. Which Swedish switched witch watch which Swiss Swatch watch witch?"

Is that really the spell? God, I can't even say that. Oh well. Anytime you hear that chant...between now and Halloween, you will be back under my evil control! Now begone! Go out and rain evil down upon the world! Spread the scripture of Adrik the Evil Wolf and Man-servant Hecubus to all your friends!

And if you have time, please restock your birdfeeders. It's going to be hard for the birds to find food once the snow falls.

Wow. What an awful journal. Was there really any point to this? No, not really. Just a bored Wolf awake at 2:30 in the morning and trying to get a bunch of random ideas out of his head.

But on a brighter note....a lot of you have been asking me about Skype and I finally remembered to take the time to get an account! So if you want to come harass me or just need to get a dose of evil...my account (?) id is adrik_wolf@hotmail.com!

I discovered I used to have one of these like ten years ago but never used it. So I shall be needing to update it in the coming weeks.

So there, this journal wasn't completely pointless! Whoo!

Until next time....

~Adrik