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"Why should i bother?"
9 years ago
i couldn't even count the number of times i have heard this in my head
and felt things like
"Realy? him again?" "god just go away" "fuck off freak"
being said behind my back
i do sometimes even wonder if people put up with me
cause they are too nice to tell me otherwise
"Why should i bother"
often followed by
"i am achieving nothing" "i am so behind"
"how can i even compete?" "I am nothing"
And even i'll admit, i have my times of weakness,
times when it feels like all my strength has failed me
"oh look, you are writing another journal about how pathetic you are"
So what if i am? i am not asking for pity,
rather i want to give strength,
make others understand, that, they aren't alone.
and not in that "we are here for you" that everyone says
But in the more real way, you aren't alone in your feelings, everyone is different
but we all feel these things, some of us more then others
"So why should i bother?"
cause know what....this picture might be the one that does it
"Why should i bother?"
cause this might be the time i change someones mind
"should i bother"
YES! cause dam it, i've already come this far!
"I am a Bother"
BUT UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME TO STOP! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I!
We all feel weak, we all feel envy for others strengths
we are actually blind to our strengths, cause we live with them
we don't think what we can do is special,
so we have trouble seeing how amazing we really are
sometimes we need to be reminded to step outside ourselves and look back
I've made over 1000 pictures on FA,
and i nearly have 1000 watches
I nearly have 20,000 page views
i've worked hard, and i've fallen, and i've kept on going
and i've decided to finally fight my true enemy, Myself
my weaknesses that blind me to my strengths
my pettiness that stops me seeing what amazing things i have done
am i going to defeat it? Probably not, but i think thats a good things
i need to know i can atleast fight
Thats Why i Should Bother.
and felt things like
"Realy? him again?" "god just go away" "fuck off freak"
being said behind my back
i do sometimes even wonder if people put up with me
cause they are too nice to tell me otherwise
"Why should i bother"
often followed by
"i am achieving nothing" "i am so behind"
"how can i even compete?" "I am nothing"
And even i'll admit, i have my times of weakness,
times when it feels like all my strength has failed me
"oh look, you are writing another journal about how pathetic you are"
So what if i am? i am not asking for pity,
rather i want to give strength,
make others understand, that, they aren't alone.
and not in that "we are here for you" that everyone says
But in the more real way, you aren't alone in your feelings, everyone is different
but we all feel these things, some of us more then others
"So why should i bother?"
cause know what....this picture might be the one that does it
"Why should i bother?"
cause this might be the time i change someones mind
"should i bother"
YES! cause dam it, i've already come this far!
"I am a Bother"
BUT UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME TO STOP! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I!
We all feel weak, we all feel envy for others strengths
we are actually blind to our strengths, cause we live with them
we don't think what we can do is special,
so we have trouble seeing how amazing we really are
sometimes we need to be reminded to step outside ourselves and look back
I've made over 1000 pictures on FA,
and i nearly have 1000 watches
I nearly have 20,000 page views
i've worked hard, and i've fallen, and i've kept on going
and i've decided to finally fight my true enemy, Myself
my weaknesses that blind me to my strengths
my pettiness that stops me seeing what amazing things i have done
am i going to defeat it? Probably not, but i think thats a good things
i need to know i can atleast fight
Thats Why i Should Bother.
i just hope this helps someone, even just a little,
Its also an enemy you can't ever fully defeat,
cause doing so, you will lose part of yourself
whats important, is knowing you can fight, and keep on fighting
kinda a Philosophy i am working on, the idea that simple "magic" cures are the worse thing for you
that its a good thing that your problems aren't solved by simple cures
cause how horrible would it feel knowing you could be cured by something so simple
"All that time wasted!"
and sometimes, we need that bad side of us, to prove to ourselves we are more then that