Hey~
I'm still around.

2 weeks ago all my symptoms came back with full strength. I still wasn't able to get proper medical care; nor does it looks like i will be able to anytime soon, especially with the increased amount of refunds I had to give lately; private doctors are out of the question. It's understandable people are not trusting I can ever finish any project in my current state.
I can barely sleep or do anything anymore, let alone work. I can't really progress with any artwork at the moment. My hands and arms hurt, i have breathing issues and a constant anxiety of what's happening is emotionally crippling me as well; especially because i saw my grandmother and mother have the same problem I do now, and I know where it leads.

I answer to notes in delay, and I often not open them. I'm also less frequent on Skype, and not really check Gmail. I know this in unprofessional, but please forgive me. I absolutely need to avoid stress at any cost until I can adjust to how things are now. I felt like I was better when I closed myself away; then an array of refund requests and bashing from others just put me back - not to say i blame them, they were completely right.

I also needed to get used to my new diet; no salty foods and no more soft drinks; later which was one of my very few source of feeling good anymore, however pathetic that may sound. Now I can't go out, can't eat good food, can't drink, alcohol is out of the question, nothing to distract me. I feel really empty.

I am being pushed to open new commission slots, but I honestly don't think I could mentally take it; meanwhile bills, food and refunds are waiting to be paid. I'm trying to sell everything I own and is of any value for now, but that only lasts for a little while.

For now it would be of great help to commission ---storm---, my roommate if you like his style, who I have a shared budget with. All my commission income went to keep us both up. Now I feel like I failed not just everyone on FA, but him as well.

I won't open donations, because I don't deserve it or could accept it. All I need is patience; although I know it's a lot from me to ask from anyone.

sorry for the very depressed update, and sorry for being inactive for such a long time. I'm trying my best to come back as soon as I can.