Hng... I wish I was in a position to help you out Akitary. Try to take it easy and push commissions out of your mind, you need to keep your body healthy and stress free. Goodluck, you really need it @~@

thank you. my commission delays are the very reason of my stress and i cant really get rid of that though, nor do i feel like i should; if i messed up then i should pay the price :/

I know what you mean, running isn't an option, though it'd be nice to be free of the burden. All you can do is work on repaying that debt and then re-building your reputation.
But Akitary, as much as it sucks, you aren't there yet, you need to heal before you can get working on it. And worrying about it now is only going to make the whole thing take longer. I know it's hard, but please, please try to relax; even if it means staying away from the computer for a few days/weeks. Don't get RID of the burden, just set it aside for now, and come back when you are well rested and healthy again :')

I have been away for a month, but being away from Fa also meant no payments, no food soon., and its nothing but my empty dark room and my realization how i'm absolutely nothing outside the Akitary from FA. that was like the one thing I did good in my life and then i screwed it up.
on second though it might be better if i distract myself with working ^^"

[It's long, sorry D:]

Mmmm.... mhm, I see your point. I am stuck indoors all the time, don't have any friends in the city cause they left for school sadly :T so art is all I can really do. And hey, it's a huuuge passion of mine as well so I'm happy to be doing it every day, no regrets here.
Buuuut as I'm sure you're well aware, depression is an asshole, and it took art away from me. I either can't or despise the idea of even opening Photoshop (usually the former). So not being able to do art, while it hurts me financially A TON (Can't even make it pay cheque to pay cheque, been living on over draft for a long time now) it hurts me even more emotionally and dare I say, spiritually?

So trust me when I say that in a world of badluck, hardship and "fuck ups" I can understand where you're coming from when you say art, and the persona you've developed here on FA is not only what you've done right but also something you enjoy, and makes it worth it to get out of bed in the mornings. I may not know all the details and specifics or hell even you personally; but what I've witnessed you describe over the past while has made me really think we're in a highly similar boat.

I'm not telling you to step away from the only thing that brings you joy, or the only thing that can help you. If art is not the cause of your problems, then disregard what I said! But if art IS the cause of your stress, and if everything outside of it is meaningless, the point is you still need a break :( if you can go outside then try walking around if there's any nice areas, if not then maybe play some games, or watch movies. If art IS the problem, but it's commissions specifically, then draw for yourself. YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL GUILTY about that, but you need to be HEALTHY and HAPPY, you need to RECOVER or NOBODY will ever get their art.

I hate to speak for others, but even your most "fed up" clients must want you to at least be happy, and they must know that if this continues you'll never get better, which will make them and everyone else wait even longer. Nobody likes seeing you struggle Akitary. Even if none of my "advice" helps at all, just know that I support you, and hope to see you recover soon, okay? Please hang in there and stay strong.

Also PS; something I've learnt is, if you stop working for a month, but live every single day in a dark corner, lugging around a huge boulder of guilt, responsibility and stress then; it wasn't a month off. You were STILL working, just in a different way. That month wasn't really time off.
We all need a mental break too sometimes :c

What I would give to be able to go for this right now..! I will signal boost you to some of my art-hungry friends

thank you very much!

Jesus christ Hubby. I'll signal boost this. ;u;

thank you ;u;

...I can donate funds if necessary as well. I have enough to spend and you don't need to do anything in return. ;u;

I'm always reluctant to accept donations. it never feels like a deserve it ^^"

You gofdamn deserve iy darn it I will do it

Donations are exempt from 'deserving it' issues: they're based on the donor's inclination to give, based on the donor's impression of you and your situation.

If it helps, I've enjoyed the art you've done, and from purely selfish motives I want to see more at some point.

So gimmie your PayPal already: my pounds won't turn into as many dollars due to BrExit, but...

Signal boosting in my journal as well!

thank you <3

Double signal boosted ^^ Good luck D=

thank you!

thank you very much!!

damn... I wish i was in my usual position for refs. Id double the rate for one of your works.

damn... this sucks so bad :(
I made a signal boost journal. i dunno if it will help, but i sure hope so.
keep your head high, my friend, try not to let it pull you down too much.
*gives big hug*

Omg :c

I'm interested but would like to talk more about details before committing. Could you Note me?