Regret… The most awful emotion iv ever known… It lingers the longest… And gives such a empty feeling inside. I have a lot of regret. More then I feel I should at such a young age. And lately what’s hurt the most are the decisions iv made, the ones I know were the right ones, that still hurt anyways. The absolutely hopeless feeling that even though you made the right choice you regret having to make it. You regret the outcome no matter what…

I don’t have a lot to show for with what iv done with my life. It sucks, it really does. There are so many “maybe if I..” Thoughts that go through my head every day. And in the end I don’t even get the liberty of being able to vent it into anger or sadness at something else because ultimately it’s my fault.

Either due to my own actions or lack there of I have put myself in this awful situation which leads to one failure after another. I regret it all. Save for meeting the love of my life everything I did between 2001 and 2013 was a mistake, and I will likely pay for it for the rest of my life.

I’m sleepy. I had to write this out to clear my head enough to sleep.