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So How are you today?
9 years ago
Kinda sounds weird...but as i look at my journals, i noticed...i am not exactly social
but i am still scared of taking certain steps in the fandom, that for the most part...i don't feel like i am part of it
But i figured...if i can conquer my anxiety by getting it down to a reasonable level
maybe i can actually be a bit more social,
I am on Discord now, [Kittkitan@yahoo.com.au] i believe is all you need to find me
So...how have I've been? i..been better, i am still trying to push my art
I am still working hard on my inking and proportioning, its very hard given my physical disabilities...but I've been messing around with my tablet on an angle
which seems to be helping take strain off my wrist, and I've started making a standing work area for when i do projects to help my spine
I've also been working on some comic ideas....i am not going to be drawing it, someone liked the idea so much that they wanted to draw for me
Also, Been messing around with a Pod-Cast idea, since i always liked thinking about "How i would improve something" maybe i could make it into a small podcast
course all this is a lot of work, but i am probably going to enjoy it at the very least.
I am impressed that i am not getting as discouraged as much as i use to...
I mean, some of my pictures FLOP, like seriously....FLLLLLOOOOOOOP
...and i have no clue why...but fuck it...i am still improving, learning, and who knows, next pic might just do it!
course offering commissions flopped too, but that's life, could of been a bad week, Could of been ANYTHING,
I do kinda find it funny...since dealing with anxiety...its not gone....even now thinking about all this negativity
i am still...alright, i mean, i am not happy, but i am also not hurting.....i can deal with this....how i feel matters to me....
So i am sorry for rambling...but,
How are you Today?
And please comment, i am actually interested
but i am still scared of taking certain steps in the fandom, that for the most part...i don't feel like i am part of it
But i figured...if i can conquer my anxiety by getting it down to a reasonable level
maybe i can actually be a bit more social,
I am on Discord now, [Kittkitan@yahoo.com.au] i believe is all you need to find me
So...how have I've been? i..been better, i am still trying to push my art
I am still working hard on my inking and proportioning, its very hard given my physical disabilities...but I've been messing around with my tablet on an angle
which seems to be helping take strain off my wrist, and I've started making a standing work area for when i do projects to help my spine
I've also been working on some comic ideas....i am not going to be drawing it, someone liked the idea so much that they wanted to draw for me
Also, Been messing around with a Pod-Cast idea, since i always liked thinking about "How i would improve something" maybe i could make it into a small podcast
course all this is a lot of work, but i am probably going to enjoy it at the very least.
I am impressed that i am not getting as discouraged as much as i use to...
I mean, some of my pictures FLOP, like seriously....FLLLLLOOOOOOOP
...and i have no clue why...but fuck it...i am still improving, learning, and who knows, next pic might just do it!
course offering commissions flopped too, but that's life, could of been a bad week, Could of been ANYTHING,
I do kinda find it funny...since dealing with anxiety...its not gone....even now thinking about all this negativity
i am still...alright, i mean, i am not happy, but i am also not hurting.....i can deal with this....how i feel matters to me....
So i am sorry for rambling...but,
How are you Today?
And please comment, i am actually interested
just need to make ends meet, but that is always the way
but course, i am on student payments so i can't get a job to make up extra money at the moment
Commissions and sales in general seem to be a social thing more than anything else, at least online. Same goes for the popularity of art in general, though standing out in some unexpected way makes a big difference too. Social media is an enormous melting pot, and you need to be a lump of some sort to get noticed. Thus far, I seem to be more gritty than lumpy. Better luck to you, I hope.
A standing work area? Maybe I should consider that; I know I'm not doing myself any favours by sitting so much. Thanks for the idea, I think I'll see if I can cobble something together.
Anyways, as to how I'm doing, I'm not really sure. Eh... bullshit. Truth be known, I'm not doing all that well and I never have, but I'm not as worse as I could be. Industry and trades wrecked my spine and no longer have any use for me, commerce and service are all squeamish about my non-standard brain, and science and engineering require training in a format that I can't parse any more than a paraplegic can go for a stroll. I don't want to be resentful, but I feel like society just discarded me and dumped me in a kind of human landfill. But I'm alive, fighting to the best of my ability to give my life some quality and meaning, and trying to keep the self pity to a minimum.
i've been asked to leave groups before cause people don't want to be around me
so its easier to just hide and hope
Oh i need the luck..i mean in the past few months i've improved, but i need to keep going
thats the thing, can't just stand still, can i?
Standing work area, yeh, well all i did was set up a stand on a shelf and set up a laptop and a screen on there, its not going to be as powerful as my beast of a computer, but it means i can do some typing standing, and maybe look over some models i've been making in 3D
i won't say something like "things will come around"...but i am still going to wish you luck in what ever your attempt later, i know i am between places, i am still a student and i am not sure about the field i am studying towards
Good to hear you're doing well. I'm doing alright myself these days apart of this hot weather ugh X.x
Honestly I can relate to your anxiety though I'm not as bad as I used to be but sometimes it may strike hard ^^; I'm slowly growing to be more social with people as well .
Wishing you well and best of luck on your art! >.</
well anxiety, paranoia and depression isn't just something that can be cured...so...i changed how i think about it
"simple cures don't work, no matter what anyone says" - And thats a good thing, is a complicated problem, i would be so annoyed if something like rubbing my feet with onions would fix this,
"everyone else can handle this"- No they don't, and if they did, maybe they have experience that you lack, course you can't handle this,
and above all "It Matters to me", the simple idea of basically going "this is complicated, this is not something simple, and everything i feel, actually does matter"
That said, i did take a lot of time, to get that far, and i know i am not telling the full story
and good luck with your art too!