hey all sorry for the wait. i am not dead yet but i don't feel all that well physically and mentally either. it not that i am really dying it more that my world seem to be coming down all around me. i am sure some of you can related to this issue pretty well. personally i never think i felt this bad in a long time. i though i was doing well. keeping myself happy and moving forward. but lately life has been throwing curb ball after curb ball. and i keep taking the hits and moving on. this last one though.. really hit me good. on top of everything else (i will get to that in a bit) it finally hits me. my roommates that i lived with the last 10 years are moving away to portland, Oregon. they leave for it i think friday morning... so tomorrow and today are really my last chance of seeing and spending time with them. it feels like the more i do to push myself further to make myself happy the more life want to throw at me to knock me back down. as much as i been pushing myself i not been doing as well as i like. these last few days are going ot be rough... i know it will be. part of me is already braking up inside and hurting and not sure what i should do at this point. in 4 months the very house i live in will be sold as well which dont help me feel much better.

in other news there more to throw at you. saturday 09/03/16. i was hit by a car walking across a street. i am fine for hte most part. nothing broken or damaged. funny how i was crossing the street i work on and on my lunch break as well. so that makes it even better. for those that already know this is nothing new so sorry if it sounds like i am repeating myself to you about this. who knows. maybe i having given you all the details yet.. anyway. i was hit on my left side. hit the ground hard on the right side. i walked it off from what others said i don't remember much about the whole thing. the drive took off after hte though i waved him away. so i didn't get any of his info at all. i worked the rest of the day not saying anything about it to my boss or anyone else really. until i got home. i sat down relaxed for a bit and when i when to get upstairs i realized i was in soo much pain i couldn't climb the stairs at all. so i when to the hospital. they didn't find anything really wrong with me expect water on my knees. go figure didn't even know about until i was there and that it runs in our family. the things you find out in the hospital.. anyway i was given pain killers and discharged from there. i am still taking the meds even now but saving the stronger stuff for when i am in alot of pain and it wont go away. other then my knee still bothering me i am pretty much ok physically. i am hoping my insurances covered most of this visit or i am going to be in even more trouble.

now then the last part of my news. so this saturday after i start finally getting some recover. i was pulled into my bosses offices. seems he wanted to talk about something. never a good sign but i was hoping it wasn't one of those times. turns out i was wrong again... so ya he pretty much said i was moving too slow and i needed to pick up the paste or he would have to reconsider me working there. normally that means he going to fire me. only problem with this is.. well that monday i told him the whole story about me getting hit by a car and that i would be a little slow for a bit. i needed time to recover and over working myself would make it happen slower. i expect this too him again that saturday. but you know that look when you try explaining yourself when they are just sitting in there chair crossed armed and looking at you like they are not going to listen to what you have to say anyway. well that the look i got. so ya i pretty much pushed myself harder then i should and hurt my knee (right knee for those following along) so much so that it was so bad i could barely stand on it. he has this habit of over working people because he books too many cars for us to work on and if we start to fall behind he start rushing us more. and on top of that come and checks on everything your doing every 5 mins it seems. it been rough for me lately and i am still recovering slowly. my knee hurts but not as bad as it was that saturday. i am pretty sure i would of been mostly healed but now if he hadn't of over worked me that day. now it going take another week before i can fully recover again. i am seeing the district manager this monday and i want to tell and show him the things i did and how long it took me and why i was moving slower then normal. personally i am not sure how this is going to go i am just hoping it ends in my favor.

well that about it.. oh wait i forgot. there still the fund raiser i am doing to try and bring money in so i can start to prep for the trip to get ele. i only hope this helps more and i will link it again here. please if you can help out. if you can find more people to see this. i really could use this money to help ele move or me move at this point as i am not sure what would be better right now. here the link: https://www.gofundme.com/24yn35ks i am sure most of you already know about this as well. but just reminding people is a good way to show i am still wanting to do this.

anyway that pretty much it. hope this isn't too long for you to want to read.