It is almost the end of another year. For some it's a joyous time, for others, a sad or miserable one. For me it is a mixture of all of them. My nearest family is about 950 miles away and chances are I won't be able to drive up to see them. It isn't the first time I've been on my own for the holidays and it probably will not be the last but it is still a time I will be away.

It is a time that I reflect on my life and what has gone on in it.

I have pretty much healed up from my surgery and can do things a lot better than I had for some time. I got a new electric scooter since the old one was unrepairable and can roam around more easily than I used to. I've even lost a little weight, which helps me in a lot of other ways. I have just enough money to cover the bills so I should be happy, but I am unsure. No complaints, I've been luckier than I expected. A few regrets for things I should have done or things I did but wish I hadn't. A bit sad because I couldn't lift a friend's spirit because they really need to give it a boost. In short, a lot of different feelings.

It is possible that it may be old age creeping up on me. In about a month I will be 65 years old. Too many of the people I grew up watching are passing away, too many friends too. I am not as strong or athletic or as quick as I used to be. Slowing down is no fun. I am old enough to be the father or grandfather of most of the people who read this and it sometimes makes me feel like I am not a part of the community.

With all this, is it any wonder why this season is affecting me this way?