my life seems to revolve around my mothers mistakes. I love her and I worry about her a lot but I'm realizing that i need to get away from my family because right now its poison...but i can't leave...one i got no friends I could live with, 2 my moms on the edge of suicide and i can't loose her if i left (given that I could leave) it would just be her and my lazy as sister who dose nothing all day rarely doing a chore here and there while I do most of the house work to keep stress off my mom.. thing is now we are being forced to move do to another of my mother's mistakes and finding something affordable is not ez under the pressure of 30 days. my chest is fluttery in a bad way and I struggled to get out of bed today i feel like i have no energy.. on top of that I'm not sleeping well if at all .. to think we were in a similar situation this time last year only less stressful for me at the time and also do to a mistake my mother made..i guess.. I feel more anger towards her than I'm willing to admit and quite a lot of anger towards my sister the anger will pass at some point I no but the stress I can't escape from it even my diapers don't help with it like they used to. I wish I could go back to a time when I was happy and stress and depression free...but that would be around when i was maby 8 or 9. being autistic doesn't really help matters for my iv inherited anxiety from both sides of my family to begin with then there's the social kind that comes with my autism. and finally we have to find a new home for our cat and 2 dogs we can't afford to keep them..iv always had a pet there for me to cuddle pet and play with when im down...idk how i can go without that and because my dogs about 14 im worried no one will take her or if someone does they will just put her down... im just all around lost right now i need to get away but if i do i could loose my mom.