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Regarding Female Orgasm...
8 years ago
⭐️ be rootin, be tootin, and by god be shootin ⭐️ Clickbait title? Nope.
So I recently found this site: https://www.omgyes.com/ through http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/ and lemme tell you, it's sparked some thinking.
The (cishet) porno industry has a very particular view on female orgasm. If it DOES happen during a porno, it's during penetration and typically only because of penetration. The female orgasm is something that isn't discussed, and as said... if it does come up in a porno, it's a direct result of the man's particular prowess. Like getting a woman to orgasm must be a gold star on his own abilities and has nothing to do with the couple working together.
And women do it too. I remember thinking for ages that there was something wrong with me for not being able to easily orgasm when with a partner. If I wasn't blaming it on my own inadequacy, I was blaming it indirectly on my partner for not being 'good enough'. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
When I was younger I thought that sex was something that would just... blow my mind. That it'd be unbelievably intimate and intense and-- and what movies showed. What porn shows. Not what it actually is... which is typically tedious, giggly, somewhat awkward, cramped legs and uncomfortable.
I don't think it ever occurred to me, truly, to wonder how other women handle this. The women I'd been with had either been blessed with hypersensitivity or weren't communicating with me fully, because they never expressed difficulty the way that I did. I felt lost in it, confused that I could be fine if I was alone but seize up and take hours with a partner.
It never occurred to me to wonder if it's just the way that my body works. And that it's fine. And that literally every woman out there has their own quirks and ways of doing things.
I'm particular, in the way that some people are picky eaters. Some women aren't, and are delighted by multiple things. And you know what? If picky eaters are ok, then I'm ok. Doing what you like is ok.
I'd like to see more pornos that are realistic... more furry adult art and comics that handle sex in a way that removes the stigma and taboo of female orgasm, or communication. Consent and communication are fucking hot!
I guess, at the end of the day, I just want to tell other women that it's ok. You're not broken if you can't orgasm, or if pornos have made you believe that the only thing that can bring you orgasm is prince charming's life changing dick. It's all a scam... and the best way to know yourself and your body is to give yourself permission to be particular. It doesn't make you difficult, it just makes you... you.
And dudes? I know FA is a sausage fest, and a rather gay one at that, but if you've made it this far I just want to say... Acknowledge that this stigma is something women have to deal with, and just be supportive.
The fact that every single porno I see has women portrayed as sluts and men as studs makes this conversation worth having.
So I recently found this site: https://www.omgyes.com/ through http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/ and lemme tell you, it's sparked some thinking.
The (cishet) porno industry has a very particular view on female orgasm. If it DOES happen during a porno, it's during penetration and typically only because of penetration. The female orgasm is something that isn't discussed, and as said... if it does come up in a porno, it's a direct result of the man's particular prowess. Like getting a woman to orgasm must be a gold star on his own abilities and has nothing to do with the couple working together.
And women do it too. I remember thinking for ages that there was something wrong with me for not being able to easily orgasm when with a partner. If I wasn't blaming it on my own inadequacy, I was blaming it indirectly on my partner for not being 'good enough'. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
When I was younger I thought that sex was something that would just... blow my mind. That it'd be unbelievably intimate and intense and-- and what movies showed. What porn shows. Not what it actually is... which is typically tedious, giggly, somewhat awkward, cramped legs and uncomfortable.
I don't think it ever occurred to me, truly, to wonder how other women handle this. The women I'd been with had either been blessed with hypersensitivity or weren't communicating with me fully, because they never expressed difficulty the way that I did. I felt lost in it, confused that I could be fine if I was alone but seize up and take hours with a partner.
It never occurred to me to wonder if it's just the way that my body works. And that it's fine. And that literally every woman out there has their own quirks and ways of doing things.
I'm particular, in the way that some people are picky eaters. Some women aren't, and are delighted by multiple things. And you know what? If picky eaters are ok, then I'm ok. Doing what you like is ok.
I'd like to see more pornos that are realistic... more furry adult art and comics that handle sex in a way that removes the stigma and taboo of female orgasm, or communication. Consent and communication are fucking hot!
I guess, at the end of the day, I just want to tell other women that it's ok. You're not broken if you can't orgasm, or if pornos have made you believe that the only thing that can bring you orgasm is prince charming's life changing dick. It's all a scam... and the best way to know yourself and your body is to give yourself permission to be particular. It doesn't make you difficult, it just makes you... you.
And dudes? I know FA is a sausage fest, and a rather gay one at that, but if you've made it this far I just want to say... Acknowledge that this stigma is something women have to deal with, and just be supportive.
The fact that every single porno I see has women portrayed as sluts and men as studs makes this conversation worth having.
Joking, joking, sorry, couldn't resist. But you do raise a good point.
on the other hand, softcore porn feels so friggen intimate and hot, i dunno why
And me and a friend were literally JUST bitching at porn. LOL!
More amateur stuff then (and like, *real* amateur, borderline voyeur stuff).
It's why I hate most porn.
Yeah, I understand and agree with you.
And not just that, it also can make your partner feel horrid and a failure if a woman doesn't end up reaching the orgasm...
which shouldn't be--it's only just part of the process.
Sex is tons of fun, even without the pinnacle moment of release. And it should be.
I think the idea is because females have the sex organs inside their bodies, a climax is the main way a porno can portray she is having a good time and finding satisfaction, compared to the hard/full look of an erect male shaft or sack.
I'm always a fan of leaving things right before finish, with both people panting, so much into the moment, yet wanting to savor the aches and throbs, and let the viewer finish things with their imagination~~but that won't sell so well, and porn is always looking to make a sale.
There's probably stuff like this for guys too, though I'm pretty sure no one talks about it either xD
So in short... everything about sex is made up to be so much more than it usually is x3
But yeah, it would be nice to see more realistic sex and porn around
I definitely agree with this
Mm... think I'll keep him
Also, it does kind of take you briefly out of the mood when you break the other person's nose XD One time I went to kiss him while at the same time he was leaning down to kiss me, next thing you know I hear a thud/crack noise and feel warm splotches hit my forehead and it turned into:
Him: "Ah! I got blood on you!"
Me: "I broke your nose!"
Him: "I got blood on you!"
Me: "I broke your nose!!"
Kind of the wrong priorities there hun XD
Much
this
I'd share this if it were possible
At least with the furry community, as I have seen too many times to even address, most furs tend to base A LARGE portion of their expectations on movies/porn/books/etc. Often those things are heavily romanticised to begin with, that's the point, but people don't always connect those dots. So then, when you have this "spoon fed" or misguided individual (for lack of better terms atm) they get into sex and suddenly there's issues. They think they're doing it wrong, or their partner isn't doing it right, or even that they convince themselves they aren't into something they ARE into, because the initial attempt was so awkward and off putting they think it's all a broken system. (if that makes sense) Once that perspective is set in their mind they mislabel themselves and even others, because they aren't informed enough (or have good peeps in their lives) to explain and help walk them through it or just talk about it. So yeah, you're correct, porn often gives people their "first" or initial impressions of sex, and if they base everything on that they'll be lost and confused.
Do we know that it's not real? Yes. But how do we know what IS real when those are sometimes our only exposure to what sex is like? There are a lot of people who truly believe that sex should be as it's depicted in these media, and I can't really blame them.
Second, as a content creator, I feel like I can lend a hand in creating at least some adult material that is more realistic, or sets better examples for how sex should be.
Third, I have actually noticed an upswing in sex positive pornography! Now there are sites out there with open, consensual, friendly sex videos, including sites that try to have a diverse cast of different races, sexualities, gender identities and body types... so don't say 'never' too soon.
Besides, I think there's nothing wrong with criticizing existing pornography and its influence on people. After all, it came from somewhere, and it can always evolve. Degrading pornography will always be out there, but I'm going to put my foot down and be one of the voices saying 'I want more than that'.
Besides, I like porn! Just porn done well. c:
Sometimes it's just how you are, especially when you know yourself.
Sometimes it takes something special to trigger that intense feeling that you've yet to discover.
If there was a like button for this journal I would be slamming it ♥ Porn does skew the perception of the female orgasm which leads to so many guys (and girls) being legitimately shocked when they're told that, yeah, most women aren't going to achieve orgasm from penetration alone. It bothers me that it's readily accepted that porn is unrealistic in so many ways but for some reason this particular thing gets people all "pffft yeah right sure." Like... ????
Totally agreed on there needing to be more furry art centered around this >n>
Holy shit i couldnt have said it better myself!
I stopped my stream to comment here!!
As a trans man, and as a bisexual one at that, i have seen and felt a wide range of things, physically and emotionally, and I can tell ANYONE that climax can be reached without the need for penetration!!!
I have had woman half my size bring me to release, and I have had various people try penetration and fail at giving me pleasure.
I would love to see more art of solo play, or like, woman finding orgasm just with being talked to, or having her nipples played with, or being a dom over a male character.
Idk just something other than the hum-drum boring same old that we find in pornos now
I still enjoy it anyway. :3
But I also have the opposite problem. My husband doesn't always cum and I feel horrible about myself, like I'm not good enough. But in reality, he's just enjoying the moment and not wanting to deal with it. I think there's something to be said about guys having this issue too, but that's another topic. Thanks Sal, for bringing this to the front of people's minds.
Everyone is different how they approach it and how they deal with it, so it's good to see someone talk about it and let them know "You're not alone."
Also, there are some furry comics that I have seen that try to steer into more consent driven and realistic approaches to it, just can't name any on the top of my head at the moment. But sometimes it gets lost on the floods of other stuff out there. I know your works do a great job on it.
I'm thankful I have the partner I do, because without him and our cooperation, we'd not have the rewarding lives we do. And make no bones about it, it's the teamwork, cooperation, and learning as we go that makes everything successful. The patience, understanding, is what holds it all together. 8 years in and even with sexual stuff, everything is 1000% always a learning curve, that never goes away. I struggle with Hashimotos, graves disease, and a super severe case of PCOS. So my body is rarely as willing as the mind and I often get to doodle more fun than I ever even come close to having in the real world, because of the aforementioned. So this is a topic I feel should be more addressed and it makes me proud in a way, to see you encouraging discussion.
I feel like this kind of information and education about this topic (open, friendly discussion, even if it's in close knit spaces) is super crucial to helping all the communities within/involved/touched by the subject learn more. It'll help all parties involved! Thank you for posting this Sal/pidge! <3
Expecting a sexual encounter to go down like it does in the HIGHLY STAGED, OBVIOUSLY-NOT-REAL SCENARIO of porn films is a toxic expectation that can harm one or both partners. Unfortunately it is the only 'sex ed' some people get.
Thank you for this journal!
also, glad to hear from the dude side too of people with vaginas. c: I focused a lot on cishet pornography in my journal, but I hope that the message still helps those all along the spectrum. Heaven knows I had to learn how to communicate and think about my bits despite having quite a bit of dysphoria from them.
My partner is that way. I love him to death and he's amazing and tries.
But he feels so bad when I don't orgasm from pen-sex with him.
I've explained that it's super hard and that most women can't get off that way.
And my poor love, sweet as he is, still blames himself a bit. He understands but still wants it to be different.
I'm just glad hes so willing to communicate with me about it and tell him how to help me along haha.
I honestly think this should be a part of education for women. To learn and know their bodies and to be taught that porn is a man's industry. And that, like you said, you're not gonna find Prince Charmings magical dick and suddenly have hte biggest orgasm ever on just that alone haha.
Thank you for this. Not many people are willing to address this issue so publicly.
I think the partners that respect your limits, respect that it's not a matter of fault, and communicate with you are the ones that are definitely worth keeping. At the same time, I do wish there was generally less guilt associated with whether your partner orgasms or not.
I've heard tons of people say that sex isn't 'about orgasm' but about the experience, but I STILL have a hard time believing that. XD
I've never orgasmed, ever, and I've had sex with more people than I can count on one hand. Granted, those sexual counters usually weren't intimate or made my toes tingle or any of that stuff. They were mediocre at best, and I don't know what the cause of that it is, but I can't in good conscience say it must be the fault of all my partners.
Everyone I've asked said masturbation is they key for solving this, but no amount of hour spent with mood lighting and cherry wood vanilla flavor low sensual flickering candles while 'i want to fuck you like an animal' plays has ever done anything for me. I tried investing in lube, a handful of vibrators and dildos, nothing. Even sexy underwear didn't cut it, nor did trying to jerk it to only the finest erotica of my favorite characters. Honestly? It feels okay, but never great, honestly never GOOD. Most of the time I feel oversensitive and cramped fter a mere minute or two. genuinely, I have a hard time even getting aroused- there's only one thing for me that replicates the feeling, and that thing is really weird and isn't actually sex related at all, lol.
And it made me feel incredibly broken, still does, after meeting tons of people who don't have this issue at all. Now I do have vestibibulitis - which is a condition that makes any intrusion, even a cotton swab, at the vaginal entrance feel really painful. It's common in SA victims. Maybe my body is so broken because of my fucked up mental state. Either way- my point is that no one talks about, or posts things about, what to do if your body refuses to cooperate. And i see soooo many people (but dfab people especially) who go online anonymously searching for help and come up empty. It's a bad feeling. It robs you of a very simple pleasure you've been told all your life is free and easy. Every partner I've ever had has asked me if I came and I had to lie to every one of them to spare their feelings, and it's shitty for both of us.
Anyways, I really appreciate you taking the time to make this journal. If you have any advice, I would really love to hear it.
It's an unfortunate part of biology that the actual purpose of sex only requires the men to orgasm, and as such evolution never needed to go in a direction where all women easily orgasm.
I have been with multiple different men and women, and EVERYONE has had a different threshold for orgasm and a different optimal way to get there.
When it comes to people with vaginas, specifically, I have been with people varying from "orgasms multiple times just from penetrative sex" to "will never orgasm due to penetration alone". There is no "normal" and no "broken" here; everyone is different and has different sexual needs. Learning your partner's unique needs is the key to giving them a good time.
As someone with a vagina, if having an orgasm during penetration feels important to you (or is just a goal for fun) and you have a hard time doing it, experiment! Some people find success by stimulating the clitoris during penetration, with or without a lot of foreplay. And there are a lot more resources out there with good suggestions. But even then, if you still can't do it, don't sweat it too much. There's probably nothing wrong with you, but if you're still worried, you can always see a doctor to double check. Whatever the end result, you're not broken - you're just you, and your body has its own unique needs.
In porn, there's no sweat, there's no breaks and breathers, there's no communication. It's just 30 minutes of half-assed groping and pounding. Pleasure isn't the point of the video, and most viewers don't even make it that far along before skipping to the "climax."
And as for porn being therapy, I totally agree. That's one of the things I like about the furry community; we're fairly accepting of other people's expression and preferences, and even if what you're into isn't my cup of tea there's at least a safe space to explore being open. c:
Do carry on.
He's average size and I always tell him that if he were any bigger, it would actually hurt me to have sex! Not ever vagina is a gateway to otter space lmao. Some of us actually have small little meat pockets that don't want to take in a ginormous bratwurst sausage because it literally can't. It would hurt!
Don't be intimidated by all the dicks on FA. they're just drawings and the bigger they are, the more obnoxious they look to me! I really respect artists who draw normal sized dongs. that's A+ :)
your biggest dream is the dream all girls want to hear in their partner (and some guys I'm sure if you're bi or gay idk). Your state of mind is already A+ and doesn't need changing :^) now all you gotta do is finding a girl that matches your sweet heart!
(also don't worry about still having your V card. My friends all lost theirs way earlier than me but it's whatevs! That weird stigma is pretty much gone lol)
Just know that there are people out there who love you just as you are and that there is someone out there for everyone : 3 you just have to find them!
i was lucky enough to find my mate at university in one of our classes we happened to take together~
Another point is that sometimes it takes a long time to just figure out what you like. For myself it took me a few years to like penetrative sex itself because it was just uncomfortable or hurt. Also penetrative sex isn't the only thing you can do, it's really just the tip of the ice burgh. My current partner finds oral sex more pleasurable than vaginal on his ding dong because frankly, not all penises are hyper sensitive either.
Just try not to take a physical involuntary action of the body as personal, it's nothing to do with your skill or size.
Things to keep in mind:
#1: inner vaginal stimulation is only a minor part of sex. Penis length and girth will help sometimes, but nerve endings that are stimulated are all over the vaginal canal, so pleasurable spots are in different locations for different partners.
#2: If your penis can reach the cervix, NEVER punch the cervix. While some people enjoy contact, it's actually much more common for the cervix to have a painful stimulus attached to it. If you're long enough to reach, be gentle if you're going in all the way
#3: Building on 2, clitoral stimulation is generally a big part of enjoyment for the vaginally endowed, and if your hands are busy not helping here then the best way to give this stimulation is when the pubic bones are pressing together, this means penis is all the way in.
#4: Sexual stimulus isn't just derived from penetration. There are -many- areas people enjoy being touched that have nothing to do with penetrative sex. Explore each other's bodies.
#5: Sex is supposed to be fun. Never take things too seriously. Don't be afraid to make bad jokes if you're anxious, don't be afraid to slow down if you're uncomfortable. Make sure both you and your partner are really feeling comfortable. Awkward things can and do happen, being able to roll with it and laugh will 100% make your sex life better.
as far as porn being unrealistic and simplified? yeah of course it is, and most human porn is pretty horrible in my opinion, but furry porn more often has some other charm to it, like its more creative. and the slut/stud talk generally (with few exceptions) turns me off so i can understand that.
most women feel very uncomfortable communicating with their partner about what they need to get off.
After all, the best sex is when you both enjoy it ^^
XD There's a lot of jokes about the female orgasm.
Tbh, I wish I could reach climax easier. I mean, who doesn't like orgasms??? But it's something I'm going to have to deal with and I'm just glad I have a partner who understands.
A+ journal!
I often feel bad that just to have an orgasm with my partner and penetration I have to use a vibrator or some sort of clitoral stimulation as well but honestly I feel there's nothing to feel bad for.
When having intercourse with my partner, in order to climax, I also need a vibrator /clitoral stimulation. Without it, nothing happens for me. that all being said though, sex does always feel good lmao so if I'm not expecting to cum from the very beginning and I just go into it knowing I won't orgasm, I just have fun and enjoy the feeling of intercourse while it happens lol
You really think guys have no issues? :/
I only said that guys should be aware of this issue.
But also growing up, I never really got a choice in my sexual experiences. My views on how sex was SUPPOSE to be was VERY fucked up between being forced into it by my first 2 partners and how porn portrayed it regularly. Even after having a partner that opened my eyes to how I was SUPPOSE to have been treated, it didn't help much that SO MANY men are ONLY educated through the false reality that porn often gives. It doesn't help THEM out much when their female partners are also under the same impressions.
Like...I know better NOW...but I still have to educate men my age about the realities of sexual experiences...and that's just really sad imo.
I wouldn't lump furry porn into the mix though. I feel that's the whole point of it, as fantasy and non-realistic. But I feel people are doing themselves only harm if furry porn is their only educational unit for the real thing. [Same goes for pornos.]
im a female that cannot orgasm from penetration alone, and even when im furiously working that button, it just doesnt happen when im with a partner.
i think ive only ever managed it once?? and it took porn watching, masturbating, and having the guy jump on me pretty much at the last minute to acheive it.
it makes me feel like there is something wrong with my bits
i litteraly give my partners a disclaimer beforehand "hey. im sorry but im probbaly not going to orgasm. this is no fault of your own and dont feel like you gotta work your fingers to the bone to make it happen. im fine with not orgasming. its just how i am"
cause im afraid if they cant get one out of me, they will get frusterated and insecure :/
Luckily the mechanics of achieving both are much more straightforward for the menfolk.
Incidentally, and I hope you already know this, but comics like your Diving for Pearls and
Anyway rock on, and I heartily endorse your recommendation; apologies if I went a bit TMI <3
Honestly all women deserve the decency of taking control and owning their orgasms and sexuality and consent and communication need to be normalized desperately
A small blurb from it:
In 2005 The American Urological Association published one of Dr. O’Connell’s reports on clitoral anatomy. The report itself even states, “The anatomy of the clitoris has not been stable with time as would be expected. To a major extent its study has been dominated by social factors … Some recent anatomy textbooks omit a description of the clitoris. By comparison, pages are devoted to penile anatomy.” The report also mentions how seemingly impossible it is to understand the internal structure of the clitoris with just one diagram. Several are required to truly get a comprehensive understanding of it.
Alas it wasn’t until as recent as 2009, French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldès gave the medical world it’s first complete 3-D sonography of the stimulated clitoris. They did this work for three years without any proper funding. Thanks to them, we now understand how the erectile tissue of the clitoris engorges and surrounds the vagina—a complete breakthrough that explains how what we once considered to be a vaginal orgasm is actually an internal clitoral orgasm.
This one is way more clickbait-y, but is also an interesting read. Basically, 30% of women have trouble reaching orgasm, and 80% have difficulty through penetration alone. So women not climaxing due to penis is really quite common. It's sad that we do not educate people (or even girls) that this sort of thing is normal...
http://www.womansday.com/relationsh.....rgasms-111985/
Porn ISN'T sex!
It isn't even remotely ABOUT sex!
It's about selling a product; convincing people that they want to see these videos/whatnot in order to drum up sales.
If real sex was anything like what you see in porn, I imagine no one would want to have sex.
What happens in porn is based not upon what is or is not sexy, but what porn producers WANT people to think is sexy--namely, the stuff that is easier for them to make and harder for anyone else to understand. This creates demand for the product they sell.
Kinda creepy really.
That said, I've never heard of the studies at OMGYES, thanks for posting this! I'm really looking forward to reading their findings.
I strongly believe that female sexuality is something we as a people need to have a great deal more respect for. I think stereotypes of all kinds have done a lot of damage to our understanding of ourselves and our development.
You are right on the money, and we're all rooting for you! (Figuratively speaking--I think))
I know I can only orgasm with outer stimulation. Anything inside wont do it at all. Honestly this really boils down to a lack of good sex education. Hell I didn't even know females could orgasm until I accidentally gave myself one....and googled it cus I thought I fucked up my body. I didn't know what it was!
Porn is always going to be a very fantasized version of sex. And there are some more realistic written porns out there...but past that I think these issues do boil down to us not really learning much about our body's sexualy without actively googling everything about sex...
Everyone's body is different, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that (met both males and females upset they cant climax from penetration, or that it takes waay too long) some people I know can't orgasm at all unless they're doing it themselves, and if a partner is involved, it just doesn't happen. For males and females both, its seriously nothing to be ashamed of. Nor is it something to ignore if you're concerned or curious. Don't be afraid to ask questions and look stuff up!
Well written and thought out point of view though. Is written mostly in the way I think and see these things.
omg i didnt know i needed this journal in my life as much as i do now!
As a woman I definitely know how hard it is to climax. heck sometimes i get it and the next day or even a couple hours later when i try it again in the same way, it no longer works which is really frustrating.
I definitely feel like this issue should be addressed because shaming women and making them think they are broken for not orgasming is not the way to go about this. As you said, communication is key in trying to figure things out with a partner!
Also thank you so much for the link! i am so signing up as soon as I get my paycheck XD
Also the heck to that first comment!
Since most men struggle with feelings of inadequacy, the most common fantasy is the ability to unequivocally pleasure a woman. Not just to be adequate, but for his sexual prowess to be the most powerful experience she could ever have, and specifically for it to exceed the limits of her boundless imagination. That's a tall order, and one that obviously exists purely in the realm fantastic. Most porn isn't intended to be an informative medium. The fact is, its relation to reality is tenuous at best, and that is the intention. If it represented something obtainable, no one would bother watching it--except very lonely people.
You're here on a furry webstie. You don't view these images with the idea that your real live sex will involve anthropomorphic animals. These images are an unrealistic fantasy that we enjoy for the sake of how it breaks the boundaries of reality.
I hope that you can learn and heal as you move forward. I know that a lot of people fall into the same way of thinking that you did, but please don't misconstrue what happened or allow someone to convince you that you are a victim of something nefarious whether intentional or accidental. Those who preach the existence of a culture of victimization or wallow in the unattainable portayals of the porn industry are tantemount to those who insist video games and movies turn kids into serial killers. It is not only not true, it is a genuinely far more harmful thing to teach someone than what the material could ever do. The message that should be getting spread is the healthy acknowledgement of the boundaries and differences between what is real and what is pure imagination. It is not the fault of those who create or portray these characters, it is the fault of society's culture of sexual secrecy. The blunt reality is that the characters and actions portrayed in most pornography are intended to be no more tangible than an anthropomorphic cat conceiving a child with an alligator.
There are those who think what we enjoy here should be illegal. They believe that portraying an animal-like creature in sexual situations is harmful to the viewers and criminal of the creators. Such mindsets are the equals of those who villify the porn industry for portraying equally ficticious material.
That said, 100% A+ journal! Sex needs to be talked about more openly, and communication needs to be made super important. The fact that it's difficult to communicate to a partner that just penetrative sex isn't enough should make the point obvious.
As stated in a reply above: Sex should be fun. It should be enjoyed. It shouldn't be taken super seriously. It's okay to joke if things feel awkward. Learning to be less serious and roll with the awkward is super important, and emphasizing that sex can and will be awkward is something that really needs to be taught better.