overwhelmed lost and sceard
8 years ago
idk what im doing anymore ive just lost my dog we had to put her down she was 15 had a possible tumour that we couldn't afford to confirm kennel cough an ear infection that we went unaware of for so lone it may be why she was losing muscle mass in that side of her head... my mom couldn't keep her since she's getting an apartment and i can't take her to AZ with me.. on top of all that im having some jealousy issues....really kinda hope he doesn't see this anytime soon as im not up for talking about it right now but one of my best friends his mates a caretaker type of person and when i move to az im guna be in the same room as them for a couple of months.. don't get me wrong im super happy for him and everything but i just really wish i had someone like that in my life a big brother or daddy... my own mate of 7 years is in Ireland and we've never got to meet yet sadly is a little like me and well lately we just haven't been able to talk much he's got a full-time job and is 6 hours ahead of me and when i move to AZ 2 hours will be added on to that...
then there's the other night when i was in chat with my friend and his mate...im kinda worried his mate will hat me or hit me or something i wasn't getting the friendliest of vibes from him
and lastly there whether or not ill be able to keep my ssi when i move without my mom there to help me if i re-apply i don't think ill be able to get it back which will make the move completely pointless as i won't be able to pay rent or food..
i very badly need someone that can really care for me i miss having a father and ive always wanted an older brother both to cuddle with and care for me. i know that my 2 best friends care about me they are like little brothers to me even but i want someone in my life i can depend on and maybe spoil me a little..but whos guna want an autistic diaper freak like me around.. it doesn't show much but its there
never thought id ever have jealousy issues to deal with especially with someone im close to....it honestly hurts cuz i don't want to feel like this it makes me feel like a bad brother and friend .
then there's the other night when i was in chat with my friend and his mate...im kinda worried his mate will hat me or hit me or something i wasn't getting the friendliest of vibes from him
and lastly there whether or not ill be able to keep my ssi when i move without my mom there to help me if i re-apply i don't think ill be able to get it back which will make the move completely pointless as i won't be able to pay rent or food..
i very badly need someone that can really care for me i miss having a father and ive always wanted an older brother both to cuddle with and care for me. i know that my 2 best friends care about me they are like little brothers to me even but i want someone in my life i can depend on and maybe spoil me a little..but whos guna want an autistic diaper freak like me around.. it doesn't show much but its there
never thought id ever have jealousy issues to deal with especially with someone im close to....it honestly hurts cuz i don't want to feel like this it makes me feel like a bad brother and friend .
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