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My coming of age in the furry fandom, self discovery
8 years ago
While I've long been a snow leopard, it didn't come about easily. I started off as a leopard simply because I thought it was easier somehow. I could RP in TLK fan groups. This was in the old days of Yahoo Clubs. We had a lot of fun back in those days. Being a leopard allowed for easier connections with other stories and people, as leopards were more common then. Snow leopards were truly rare. Most of all, I didn't feel worthy. Snow leopards to me were mythical and seemingly untouchable. To conceive that I had any connection with them was almost sacrilegious. I felt set apart from them. Leopards were more of this earth, while snow leopards otherworldly. I know this sounds unusual considering both are part of this world. But to me snow leopards were magic, and that's all there was to it.
Even while I took the mantle of leopard upon myself, I had some varied and fun RPs with groups of friends in Yahoo Clubs as well as The Icy Boards, an old Balto fan board. I gave myself some pseudo-scientific abilities known as polymorphism, and off I went. It was fun being able to transform. I had an affinity for so many species, and this harkened back to my childhood when I would pretend to be various animals.
Of course, this circled back to my core character in those early years, a snow leopard. He was born of spirit and yet was of the earth, part of and between both worlds. He was almost angelic, a guardian of all things, nearly infallible. That's how I saw snow leopards – idealized anthropomorphizing through a child's eyes, I'm sure. I'd molded this character, or he naturally just was perceived, as an anthro or humanoid snow leopard, who could transform into a regular snow leopard. He also had feathered wings as needed. I think that was perhaps some of the angel aspect?
I'd all but forgotten about these childhood ideas when I came online and discovered the fandom. More like, I just didn't think to equate myself with something so ethereal and almost celestial in essence. Idealized as it all may have been, it would take me years to sort this all out. That's as if I have managed. ... I've gotten older at least?
This all began when I was perhaps 6 or 7, at the earliest. I can't explain how I dreamed up such a character. There wasn't an internet then, nor a lot of realistic anthro characters in media. Disney-esque anthros were nothing really similar. Years later in Gargoyles the Mutates came close to this, but that's quite a deal after the concept had arisen in my youthful mind.
As my presence in the fandom resolved, and coming to terms with Therianthrophy as my core self seemed more likened to, everything appeared to reorient. I took on the moniker of snow leopard, finally accepting I could indeed be worthy, or at least aspire to be. Friends told me I was foolish to resist, and so I stopped fighting it.
Thus is the story of how I came to be the snow leopard you know me as today. It also explains just a bit of how I found myself in the furry fandom as well as a Therian. Therians are rarer but still exist. We are a part of this crazy group of fuzzy fans online.
I can go a bit more into Therianthropy another time. I still think back on being a polymorph in RP, and it was fun. I think it's part of why I empathize with so many species. It also makes it difficult not to feel mournful at the death of any creature. I know I'm a snow leopard, but I have a little bit of many species in my heart. It may be imaginary, but it keeps me grounded perhaps?
Even while I took the mantle of leopard upon myself, I had some varied and fun RPs with groups of friends in Yahoo Clubs as well as The Icy Boards, an old Balto fan board. I gave myself some pseudo-scientific abilities known as polymorphism, and off I went. It was fun being able to transform. I had an affinity for so many species, and this harkened back to my childhood when I would pretend to be various animals.
Of course, this circled back to my core character in those early years, a snow leopard. He was born of spirit and yet was of the earth, part of and between both worlds. He was almost angelic, a guardian of all things, nearly infallible. That's how I saw snow leopards – idealized anthropomorphizing through a child's eyes, I'm sure. I'd molded this character, or he naturally just was perceived, as an anthro or humanoid snow leopard, who could transform into a regular snow leopard. He also had feathered wings as needed. I think that was perhaps some of the angel aspect?
I'd all but forgotten about these childhood ideas when I came online and discovered the fandom. More like, I just didn't think to equate myself with something so ethereal and almost celestial in essence. Idealized as it all may have been, it would take me years to sort this all out. That's as if I have managed. ... I've gotten older at least?
This all began when I was perhaps 6 or 7, at the earliest. I can't explain how I dreamed up such a character. There wasn't an internet then, nor a lot of realistic anthro characters in media. Disney-esque anthros were nothing really similar. Years later in Gargoyles the Mutates came close to this, but that's quite a deal after the concept had arisen in my youthful mind.
As my presence in the fandom resolved, and coming to terms with Therianthrophy as my core self seemed more likened to, everything appeared to reorient. I took on the moniker of snow leopard, finally accepting I could indeed be worthy, or at least aspire to be. Friends told me I was foolish to resist, and so I stopped fighting it.
Thus is the story of how I came to be the snow leopard you know me as today. It also explains just a bit of how I found myself in the furry fandom as well as a Therian. Therians are rarer but still exist. We are a part of this crazy group of fuzzy fans online.
I can go a bit more into Therianthropy another time. I still think back on being a polymorph in RP, and it was fun. I think it's part of why I empathize with so many species. It also makes it difficult not to feel mournful at the death of any creature. I know I'm a snow leopard, but I have a little bit of many species in my heart. It may be imaginary, but it keeps me grounded perhaps?
Also, while I am a cougar, I do really like snow leopards. We cougars are, I suppose, the snow leopards of America, but we live in all types of habitats besides snowy mountains, and we don't have any of the mythical qualities that are associated with snow leopards, or very little at most.
I've always thought cougars were North America's snow leopards. There's nothing wrong with that. They're beautiful and graceful, regal and feline. I'd wager a bet that some Native American cultures and mythologies have something to say on whether cougars have mythical qualities or associations.