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A call for understanding and open minds
8 years ago
General
Hey look, its personal opinion time!!
This absolutely is prompted by something going on a personal level, but I see it a lot. It tends to be a human trait, but in the fur/art community it tends to be -rampant-.
Bewares are exceedingly useful and vital when dealing with digital art, fursuiting ect. We NEED these with the over abundance of people willing to scam or simply flake out on a deal.
But when you have people creating bewares because of a personal issue that has nothing at all to do with their business, their art, their quality of character.
Most of these stories are one sided, you get the account of the person you follow without much feed back. They will even include a few details of self culpability sometimes. They "should have" done this or not done that. They were going to pay for something, but then the person became "aggressive" or blocked them.
It sounds convincing because you've chatted with this person, been on friendly terms with them.
I am asking you to remain objective. Remember always there are two sides to a story. Unless there is a blatant scam occurring or blatant physical/ mental abuse with posted proof... Dont run over to their page to harass them, dont discount them as a person because this other person that you follow, and lets admit it, dont actually know, said they were awful and you should.
Stop and ask yourself a few questions before you pass judgment if you can
-Does this have anything to do with how they do business?
-Does this have anything to -really- do with their quality of character, or could it just be an isolated situation with mutual bad feelings?
-Does everything add up? Does it seem like the targeted person is just acting out for no reason.. maybe theres things missing from the story
-Does the person posting the beware use language like "I was going to pay" " I was going to recompense" I was going to make it right, but........" IMO there is no excuse at all for not making it right.
-Do you have ANY posted proof, rebuttal, testimony from the other side? ANYTHING other than the testimony of the person posting a beware. Every FB site for bewares requires proof and asks for the other side of the story. How many times have you seen a posted beware that really sounded like it was deserved, only to see the other side of the story open up other details or explain situations that changed how you view the situation?
People are going to disagree. We're going to have spats and miscommunication. Especially when it comes to how much most of us communicate in text. People who are normally fantastic are very capable of having a bad day or taking something out of context.
Others are completely capable of twisting a situation to play upon sympathies to absolve themselves of guilt or culpability while laying all the blame upon another.
Sorry for the long read, I dont rant often for this reason XD.
We're all smart, well thought out people. Its easy to get caught up in the passions of someone else when we feel they might have been wronged. I catch myself doing it sometimes too, this is as much a reminder for me as I would have it be for all of you.
<3
This absolutely is prompted by something going on a personal level, but I see it a lot. It tends to be a human trait, but in the fur/art community it tends to be -rampant-.
Bewares are exceedingly useful and vital when dealing with digital art, fursuiting ect. We NEED these with the over abundance of people willing to scam or simply flake out on a deal.
But when you have people creating bewares because of a personal issue that has nothing at all to do with their business, their art, their quality of character.
Most of these stories are one sided, you get the account of the person you follow without much feed back. They will even include a few details of self culpability sometimes. They "should have" done this or not done that. They were going to pay for something, but then the person became "aggressive" or blocked them.
It sounds convincing because you've chatted with this person, been on friendly terms with them.
I am asking you to remain objective. Remember always there are two sides to a story. Unless there is a blatant scam occurring or blatant physical/ mental abuse with posted proof... Dont run over to their page to harass them, dont discount them as a person because this other person that you follow, and lets admit it, dont actually know, said they were awful and you should.
Stop and ask yourself a few questions before you pass judgment if you can
-Does this have anything to do with how they do business?
-Does this have anything to -really- do with their quality of character, or could it just be an isolated situation with mutual bad feelings?
-Does everything add up? Does it seem like the targeted person is just acting out for no reason.. maybe theres things missing from the story
-Does the person posting the beware use language like "I was going to pay" " I was going to recompense" I was going to make it right, but........" IMO there is no excuse at all for not making it right.
-Do you have ANY posted proof, rebuttal, testimony from the other side? ANYTHING other than the testimony of the person posting a beware. Every FB site for bewares requires proof and asks for the other side of the story. How many times have you seen a posted beware that really sounded like it was deserved, only to see the other side of the story open up other details or explain situations that changed how you view the situation?
People are going to disagree. We're going to have spats and miscommunication. Especially when it comes to how much most of us communicate in text. People who are normally fantastic are very capable of having a bad day or taking something out of context.
Others are completely capable of twisting a situation to play upon sympathies to absolve themselves of guilt or culpability while laying all the blame upon another.
Sorry for the long read, I dont rant often for this reason XD.
We're all smart, well thought out people. Its easy to get caught up in the passions of someone else when we feel they might have been wronged. I catch myself doing it sometimes too, this is as much a reminder for me as I would have it be for all of you.
<3
All I have to say is thank you.