Holy crap, I knew y'all were having troubles, but I didn't know it was that bad! I'm really sorry Shayla ;A;

I didn't either... v.v, I knew he was a jerk to me sometimes, but I never thought he would actually hurt Eevee. Apparently he's been doing horrible things to her for a long time. ;~; She doesn't understand any of it was wrong, and she doesn't know he's in jail yet. She just knows he went somewhere else and isn't coming home for a very long time. She had to have an std test, and I had to do every kind ever. x.x We got rejected for Tanf. I have VPO court Tuesday. Still not sure how we're going to pay for anything past the 15th... Kinda terrified. Kinda been having a panic attack for over a week straight. Could very likely lose our house and the farm if I can't keep the bills paid or sell them fast enough. I feel like I'm dying. Trying not to cry or say anything in front of Eevee is excruciating. I really don't have money for anything. But if I lose the house we'll lose our pets too. Eevee just lost her father, and I just lost my husband... I really don't want to lose our home and pets too... -cries-

I'm truly shocked. I still remember when you gave us the news of Eevee's birth. No child should go through such things.

I gave my little help to the campaign. It's a very symbolic value, but I wish I could help you much more, from the bottom of my heart. I sincerely hope things start getting steadily better from now on, to you and Eevee. Stay strong!

Thank you... If we can make it through the next month or two and get things sorted, keep the bills paid until we can work out a plan, I think we'll be okay. I don't know yet if we can afford to keep the house. Depends on a few things like how quickly I can get divorced, if I can sell the farm right away, and how much disability is willing to give me now that I don't have his income to rely on... But in the worst case, I think we can afford to buy a different house if we have to lose this one and sell it off... It just won't be as big or in as nice a part of town... >.>;

I honestly hope all this is just a step back so you can give two forward next. Life is long and I hope it gives you the chance to come back to merrier times again And to find someone who truly loves and respects you and your daughter. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, let's see if people are willing to help and you can keep your home!

Thanks... Here's hoping... But so far it just keeps getting worse... Every time I think "it can't get worse than this," life goes and proves me wrong and drags me through more crap. ;~;

Unrelatedly, your icon is Leomon's legs, and my kid is watch Digimon right now. >.>

Ha! An Eevee watching Digimon? I hope that doesn't bring her troubles back in PokeWorld...

Life has often not been gentle to you. My troubles are but small quibbles next to some of yours, like the disability issue and now this thing with your ex-husband. But I guess that, in the end, it all comes to all of us as "Hey, stand tall or give up." There's a lot of things that go over our heads and we can't control. Let's just try and keep together our little stuff and live day by day, trying to always give our best. I believe that, even in worst of situations, there always comes something that makes us believe life is worthy :)

I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but I hope you don't carry the world in your shoulders. Let the water run under the bridge. Look after you and your daughter :)

I'm sorry for stepping into this so late, although it was brought to my attention within days of the news breaking.

A million sorrys and condolences is never going to undo the damage or the pain, only time can ultimately dull that. But regardless I am so sorry you and especially Evee have had to endure this. It was and is horrifying to find out. First numbing, the utter shock and then a great sense of horrific sadness and profound betrayal. Then one feels almost foolish for feeling such cause Evee is the one more than anyone else, who's been wronged by all this. But those feelings are simply unavoidable.

I really hope you all will make it through this, regardless of what happens, time and your loved ones will be the main healer now. We'll be coming out this wkend to among other things, hit up the meet and see you all; I've been missing my OKC peeps something fierce and am glad you're all still keeping the meet going and keeping social through everything. I know it's not easy Shayla but keep as sane and strong as you can. For both yourself and Evee.

*hugs* Thanks. I know everyone is hurting, but we're basically drowning... I guess I'll see you at the meet Saturday, but please don't mention any of this in front of Eevee. As far as she knows, nothing is wrong except he's not home. But there's a LOT wrong, more than even this. I have HPV now too (went and got everything tested after all this so Eevee wouldn't have to), and I might have cancer... I at very least have precancerous lesions that are going to have to be surgically removed. Should hear back on the colposcopy and biopsy by Monday to know if it's actually cancerous or not... And getting more testing done today. Joy. Meanwhile, I already have bills I can't pay stacking up and not a single person has donated since I turned off my FB at the lawyer's request. x.x; Everything is crashing down around us at once with him gone, and I'm just left here alone trying to keep pushing forward while running on fumes myself... ;~;

Well yea of course, wouldn't think of saying anything to her about em. Though I can only imagine how rough that'll be when the time comes. *Sighs* Man when it rains...

Am sorry things seem to just be falling apart even more. One can only hope things level out somewhere in such a way that you're all able to move on reasonably. I hope it turns out not to be cancerous. Gotta love those damn waiting periods on such..nerve wracking at best.

Just gotta try and keep your head(s) above water, for as long as you can.

I can't even afford dinner at Denny's. I have just barely enough to cover bills through the 15th with the hope that they'll let me sell the farm after the 12th and I can use those funds to pay things down to where we can manage... x.x I have no idea how I'm going to afford all these medical bills and tests and medicines, but if I don't, I could die. Fun times. Oh, and since I posted that last comment this morning:

I heard back from the gyno. It's not cancer -yet,- but they need to get it out asap so it doesn't become cancerous and to make sure it's not already cancerous further down. So I'm having a full on outpatient surgery (a "LEEP" procedure) to rip that whole section of my cervix out for testing sometime in the next few weeks.

I saw the gi doctor. They were very concerned, and he wanted to get me in 6am Monday for a colonoscopy. I said I wouldn't be conscious then, so we're bumping it back to Tuesday at 2pm. But it's still asap and doesn't sound good. I get to have an only clear liquids diet Monday and Tuesday and take the horrible meds that make you "flush your system" beforehand. Had to do this with Dad several times before he finally died of colon cancer...

Travis has yet another court date 11/14, but that's all I know so far. It's another PHC that we don't go to, so I assume they're still negotiating.

Fuck, well I really hope it isn't cancerous. Man that's crazy. You gotta have those procedures or its potentially life threatening, so I doubt they're gonna hammer you with costs just yet. There's ways around that stuff sometimes so try not to worry about it right now.

It turns out we'll be moving back to OKC quite soon, likely well, today/this wkend, though some additional trips back and forth from there to here will be needed to finish getting stuff moved and finalized. Will see you all this evening. Keep strong or as strong as you can be Shay.