about a year ago i was diagnosed with fibromayalgia. if anyone who has been following me for the past few years would know, i suffer from chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic exhaustion, nerve pain, muscle pain, bone pain, joint pain, i could sleep for 2 hour or 10 and still feel super exhausted, brain fog, confusion, memory problems, balance problems, and more symptoms on top of that.

because of my medical issues i can't work, i've tried to get a job and even though it is illegal to discriminate they do it behind closed doors, and simply don't hire me if i am honest about my medical issues. if i am not honest then they have the ability to fire me due to not telling them before they hired me (that's has actually happened to me) and because i can't work, i had decided to home-school my kiddos, two girls one is 5 and a half and the other just turned 2 on dec 2nd. they are both very high energy kiddos, and the oldest has some mild autistic symptoms and has excelled at homeschooling, already in grade 1. it is tough on me to have my symptoms and to raise PLUS home-school, but i have seen real improvement in my kids and it is so rewarding to see them learn and advance forward in their schooling.

during the holidays i traveled to my parents house for a visit, alone for 3 days, then cryptic brought the kids up for 2 weeks, then i had another 3 days alone. the ideal was that the days alone before and after the kiddos visited i was supposed to rest, and finally get some sleep. while the kids were with me, i was alone with them, because cryptic still had to work. about 4-5 days into my trip a lot of my pain symptoms vanished. some of my confusion and brain fog lifted, and i could sleep 10 hours, but i was still tired. so not everything was gone. i was able to do very heavy yard work in my parent's front and back yard with minimal help from my mother and brother. i was able to clean and organize my parent's garage (which was a huge task, took two days) i was able to vacuum and clean two of their rooms multiple times during my stay. all of that with a pain level of 1-2, where before my visit i would have started at a 5 and ended at a 9 or 10. and probably wouldn't have been able to move the next day.

now before my visit i was put on 2 new medications, gabapentin for pain (its a seizure med) and a mild anti anxiety med. i was crediting the gabapentin for my pain level reduction. but once i returned back home within 4 hours all my pain was back. so that leaves us with something in my environment causing the majority of my symptoms. we have a few theories, like mold, but the easiest thing to test is EMFs. we live extremely close to a cell phone tower and the power lines are almost next to our back yard. and with many people living here we have mulitple computers, phones, tvs and we have wifi. also i have about 8 pounds of metal in my back which we believe may make me more receptive to EMFs. so this is the easiest thing to test. get something that blocks the EMFs and keep it on me at all times to see if it helps. and if not we return the items, and buy mold testing kits and try that.

the last thing we would do is move to my parent's. we want to avoid it because where they live is not very kid friendly, and with homeschooling our girls we want them to be able to play outside and go for walks and stuff like that, and we wouldn't be able to do that up there. so it is a last resort. and we simply can't afford to move on our own without leaving the state. California is hella expensive to live here.

so thats is where we are at. i am still suffering from my symptoms but we MAY have a cause, and possible solution. we still need to test the EMF theory. i am spending a lot of my free time either cleaning or watching/homeschooling my 2 kiddos, and at night i take cannabis to help me sleep. with it i can go to sleep around midnight, without it i go to sleep closer to 3-4am. when cryptic is home he takes care of the girls so i can rest. and he still does it art too.

cryptic is an amazing father and husband. he works outside the home for money, watches the kids and still does art on the side to help us out. and i do very little compared. i do house work and homeschooling and i feel like he deserves so much more. so i am hoping that these EMF shields work and i can get back to some normalcy and take on more of the burden. i would love to art again, and take on commissions again.

so heres hoping i can get back on track, and get shit done.