My day started when my alarm pulled me out of my first good dream in over a year. I looked out the window to see pouring rain. It made me think of the old saying "It's raining cats and dogs." I wished it were a literal phrase. Thinking literally had me picturing all these furries just falling from the sky.

I was supposed to have a modeling shoot today but now I'm just pissed off. My photographer stood me up....again! I'm beginning to think this gig is too good to be true. My feet are soggy, my clothes are drenched, my hair is stuck to my face, and I feel like a tramp cause the old guys of the city wouldn't stop staring. I don't know what's so arousing about runny make-up, a drenched strapless dress, and a forlorn face. Looking back, it's a lot like that one sad scene in every dramatic movie. The difference is that reality doesn't have a happy ending.

On top of that shit, my cousin blew off hanging with me to go to dinner with my family. I wasn't invited. My mom and her boyfriend, my aunt and cousin, and my grandparents will be there. It's not like she had a choice, our grandma guilt tripped her. I just wish that I was there too. At least being with superficial family is better than being alone at home. I really only see the grandparents during the holidays now. Mom never calls me anymore, grandma and grandpa haven't tried. The last time I tried to talk to grandma was a few months before prom. She got mad when I asked about making a prom dress for my date instead of me and hung up. I don't have the best relationship with any of them anymore. I'll see them all tomorrow at the family barbecue . Is I feel a feeling it won't go very well.

Today is not a good day.