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Frugality + Creativity = Annoying, do not mix.
8 years ago
General
Not really an update so much as me venting, really.
Some good things have happened- finally- that have put me in a better spot financially, so that I'm not pulling my hair out and having panic attacks over whether or not I'll be able to have food or pay rent for the month XD. I've got a good buffer in place now that I can hopefully maintain over the coming year, and I have enough left over that I can afford to commission art again.
Only problem? I either have no idea what to get for one of my sonas (i.e. Cloudwalker), too many other ideas that'll require I make someone new in process, the artists I want to commission are closed or they do livestream commissions I can't make because of my work schedule, or I'm still stuck in the frugal mindframe I've had to adapt to in order to survive on my barebones budget just enough that everyone's prices start to look astronomical.
I've tried telling myself that it's okay and I can splurge a little in regards to that last issue, but the "what-if" starts to set in and quashes that rather swiftly. And for the artist I've managed to reserve a slot for, I can't decide what I want to do when the list goes live next week! I know I wanna get more art of Cloud', but I don't know what I should get. I've thought about commissioning a bipedal version of hir- you know, because some people sadly charge extra for taurs- but I also wanted to do a solo TF Sequence at some point, as well as some scenery pieces too. There's also some other ideas I've had, but I don't want to seem like I'm wishy-washy and add a new character/sona to the pool after just having realized that Cloud's who I feel most "at home" being.
*Sighs heavily,* This is the curse of a creative mind. Too many ideas, not enough means to make them reality, and when you do have the means, you constantly fret about potentially ending up at that same lowpoint again.
Like I said, just a little rant to vent some ideas is all. I'll probably post another journal in a couple hours to cover this one, perhaps with a funny video clip or some cool music I found recently or something that I felt like sharing.
-CorinthAlexander/Chakat Cloudwalker.
Some good things have happened- finally- that have put me in a better spot financially, so that I'm not pulling my hair out and having panic attacks over whether or not I'll be able to have food or pay rent for the month XD. I've got a good buffer in place now that I can hopefully maintain over the coming year, and I have enough left over that I can afford to commission art again.
Only problem? I either have no idea what to get for one of my sonas (i.e. Cloudwalker), too many other ideas that'll require I make someone new in process, the artists I want to commission are closed or they do livestream commissions I can't make because of my work schedule, or I'm still stuck in the frugal mindframe I've had to adapt to in order to survive on my barebones budget just enough that everyone's prices start to look astronomical.
I've tried telling myself that it's okay and I can splurge a little in regards to that last issue, but the "what-if" starts to set in and quashes that rather swiftly. And for the artist I've managed to reserve a slot for, I can't decide what I want to do when the list goes live next week! I know I wanna get more art of Cloud', but I don't know what I should get. I've thought about commissioning a bipedal version of hir- you know, because some people sadly charge extra for taurs- but I also wanted to do a solo TF Sequence at some point, as well as some scenery pieces too. There's also some other ideas I've had, but I don't want to seem like I'm wishy-washy and add a new character/sona to the pool after just having realized that Cloud's who I feel most "at home" being.
*Sighs heavily,* This is the curse of a creative mind. Too many ideas, not enough means to make them reality, and when you do have the means, you constantly fret about potentially ending up at that same lowpoint again.
Like I said, just a little rant to vent some ideas is all. I'll probably post another journal in a couple hours to cover this one, perhaps with a funny video clip or some cool music I found recently or something that I felt like sharing.
-
I often feel bad about getting myself art with commission money I earn since I have bills I'm working on too!
The big thing that has been nagging at me was getting credit from the electric company and then my uncle finally started paying me back money and Monster Hunter came out. I was incredibly tempted to rush down and buy a new playstation just to play it.
Gotta take it a little bit at a time!
If you ever do want some terrible doodles though, please feel free to poke me too!
Also, for the "terrible doodles," I'll be sure to keep that in mind .
I've got some things coming and a lot to post but I feel embarrassed I'm not able to just sit down and bang out a few pages.
*Hugs you reassuringly,* You're no burden, dear, so don't stress on that front at least. Take however long you need to get it done, just don't put undue stress or pressure on yourself to make it happen. Because forcing it can have just as negatice an impact on your writing- and on your psyche as well, in some cases. I know how easy it is to slip into that mindset, as I find myself getting bogged down in that same kind of funk a lot as well, but the trick of it is to find a quiet place to rest inbetween those moments, however and wherever you can find one, and then use that renewed strength to soldier forward and break through to a better place.
*snuggles* Indeed. *hugs you more*
So it's good to hear you're focusing more on writing on how you'd write it, and how you'd want to write it. Keep the critics far from your mind when you're making what you're passionate about; in the end, it's not for them after all. It's the story that you want to tell and that you want to read. Editing is important, as is knowledge and research, but it amounts to nothing if you yourself aren't invested in something that you want to make because you love it.
*Gives you a reassuring squeeze,* You've got this, Lauren .