I’ll be blunt. I completely failed to get out and do anything with anybody the entire weekend. Just like every other year, like every other convention, I continue to do everything solo.

But I also feel like I learned how better to articulate some of the reasons and things I can try to improve. They are going to be very difficult for me to change and it’s still probably going to take a few more failed cons to get beyond it, but maybe I can work on the habits that I need.

A lot of it boils down to communication. There were plenty of local people I know up there yet I never say anything about how I’m almost always looking for something to do. Instead I do a pretty good job at hiding what’s really on my mind. At the same time I admit that I don’t really give many ways for people to get in touch with me and don’t really show up in many chat channels.

So without anybody asking (since nobody knows) and my block at opening a channel to broadcast anything, I do what I always do. I hang out with WulfBane. This term popped in my head while I was up there and it seems like the best way to describe it. I put on the suit, head out, and it’s the suit that’s roaming around while I’m just tagging along occupying the space within. I never really have any ideas what I should do and WulfBane sure as hell isn’t going to tell me what to do, so it usually ends up as wandering around randomly & aimlessly.

That’s probably what I should try to bring to an end first. Less “one-on-one time” with WulfBane.

Similar, there are all those times I come across people I know but at best I spend ~30 seconds with them before I feel like I should let them go since (at least in my head) they clearly have their own plans and things to do with their own group and I should get out of their hair to get back to what they were doing. But that may be something bigger to take on later. Plus if I can improve where I’m going into the con with even loose plans on trying stuff with people, it will help.